scrolling on your phone is an eye cigarette

kind of addicted to the schadenfreude of watching rich ppl get disappointed by luxury advent calenders

my question is why did my barely active reddit account get hacked to spam your snap like dream bigger

this city does have its charms

i’d love to unclench my jaw someday

I ate all the candy so I hope these kids like cat treats

Happy Halloween gay people @diybear.bsky.social

I love when cats sound like owls

got a "thank you young man" on the phone oooo aaaaaaaa bowing bowing accepting roses thrown at my feet blowing a kiss to testosterone

did yk they have balloony's kids at caesars palace

sometimes you do get to meet people you love from the internet :)

labubu bongs have reached the smoke shops pls labubong follow me home like in the campbell's soup ad

fall allergies are such a middle finger it's finally not 100° the leaves are changing but o what's that? ragweed? death by 1000 cuts

it's fun being a love filled hater I watched the first 3 conjuring movies today n they suck so hard I can't wait to see the 4th one

Being an adult is just walking around saying 'after this week things will calm down' until you die.

those ads that are like "I was unknowingly paying for 3 duplicate subscriptions a year, you might be too" lol. lmao even

already miss the steak I made for dinner </3 you were so beautiful </3

why must I wake up with a uti ? taco bell please send me 20 sausage breakfast crunchwraps for medicinal purposes

in 2025 if a gay guy listens to green finch and linnet bird more than once in 24 hours their psychiatrist will be notified via spotify

Outside the sky waits, beckoning, beckoning, just beyond the bars. How can you remain staring at the rain, maddened by the stars? How is it you sing anything? How is it you sing?

these cupcakes are sooooo pretty I wish the pink ones didn't taste like battery acid </3

I've been watching the golden girls all day and I'm still screaming for them to lock the door when they slam the freaks out

need to marry the butcher that gave us her stash of burger meat I owe her a kidney

super scientifically found out why my dog is so loud (aries moon)

We must remain silly in these trying times.

when you are drunk enough uber should give you credits to go to karaoke

imagine how cool it would be if they made allergy meds that worked

came v close to hitting my vicks nose inhaler like a vape and my life flashed before my eyes

failed the polycule final round interview manager said i wasn’t a good culture fit

Just bros being dudes being bros :) @faggydyke.bsky.social

I am pleading with my phone to stop showing me grad school application ads you can't make me pay for another math class I refuse

kinda love how badly the lavender marriages on kitchen nightmares run restaurants go queens you're trying 🫶🏻

yippeee drinks on me

1 year on t everyone say good job rhye

hang out w my gma too much I just said "warsh"

Everyone should dye their hair pink at least once their lifetime. It’s incredible, it’s needed, you’ll feel whimsical

turns out that whole one crutch under one arm thing is exclusive to skinny people. good to know!

a week without my inhaler and I sound like wheezy the penguin

Does anyone know what my problem is

the boy has claimed salad fingers

there is a neon light emanating from my skull knowing my sewing machine is coming today

got wilk (weed milk)

he :°p

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

Should be trans day of sleeping in and getting paid to stay home idk

i love the cute little murder eyes my cat gives me to let me know that that was absolutely my last free pet

hate drunk sweat!!!! let me vibe I didn't ask to drink the potion that makes you sticky

okay who's reading sunrise on the reaping I'm reeling