I hope he got there. RIP

Pausa de hidratación

Juego...blusas.

Good night, Switzerland

Lightning bolt!

I made that goal happen. You're welcome.

Am I just sleepy or has this game been boring?

soccer players love shooting the ball 900 billion feet over the crossbar. it’s the main thing they do

Does Norway think the goal is vertical?

Norway knows Haaland is their best player, right?

I'm saying it. Jude Bellingham is England's best player.

Norway's keeper almost pulled a Freese.

Is Chalamet ever gonna finish driving to that 3-on-3 match?

Why is it Haaland's fault the defender needs to get in the weight room?

The North Remembers (how to score goals)

I respect the Robert Eggers-ass font on the Norwegian kits.

This is the Disney Channel teen heartthrob who helps the "ugly" girl become pretty by...taking her glasses off.

My folks in the lion suits have to be dying in the Miami heat.

Egypt seeing that goal not wiped out by a delayed VAR penalty.

Which way? Norway.

James Corden is buying the airtime himself, right?

Floodgates: Open.

Well, yeah. M'Bappe does that kind of thing.

The stutter step on PKs remains dishonorable.

Wasn't expecting a Lenny Harris shoutout on this World Cup broadcast.

Fitting as the end of every WC game feels like an artificial sunset on Scarif

Have we discussed how much the Swiss coach looks like Mads Mikkelsen?

mike d: well i'm mike d but you can call me every beastie boy: LUCKY! mike d: just spoke to the senator from every beastie boy: KENTUCKY! ad-rock: talked for twenty minutes about every beastie boy: UKRAINE! mca: and the unfolding situation up in every beastie boy: MAINE!

28-3gypt

Egypt is #Falconing

*tension intensifies in an incredible World Cup match* "Stick around for James Corden!"

Egypt wearing Falcons colors in Atlanta and holding a big lead in the fourth quarter makes me a bit nervous.

Messi just committed a murder.

Argentina

TODAY IS THE LAST FULL DAY TO HELP US OUT! We’re close to getting our green light. If all my followers donated at least one dollar, we’d get there!

That was soccer's version of Ball Don't Lie.

Getting closed out by Leonard Fournette

Well, uh....

WE ARE SO BACK!!!!

No bueno

I have to leave the house soon so rest assured there will be all sorts of scoring now. You're welcome.

I need this US-Belgium game to happen already so y'all can STFU about it.

Mexico crosses

Watching on Telemundo and freaked when dude said "ONCE MINUTOS MÁS!"

FIFA committed to giving us maximum chaos. I approve.

This game is a brawl.

Blergh