God, birds are so weird, I love it

It’s a ‘bang head on desk repeatedly’ kind of work day

ODYSSEUS: wife I am home after 20 years PENELOPE: oh shit I mean honey you are home how wonderful ODYSSEUS: who are all these strange men PENELOPE: well, I'll tell you what they're definitely not, which is a 300 person polycule ruling in your absence

The Lost Jockey | René Magritte

Is it miserly to wish that Christmas songs be kept banned until at least somewhere around the 15th?

How to make 2 perfect poached eggs (if you’re me): Start with 4 eggs, and accept that the attrition rate of those that don’t survive the cracking into boiling water stage is half.

Oscar Wilde's The Canterville Ghost is one of my favourite ghost stories, despite it monstrously violating one of my big 'rules' for ghost stories: No Irony About Ghosts. It's hilarious. But also, so tender and sad and moving. My god, that man could write. He dances between tones effortlessly.

A bowl of good Phở is potentially the most filling meal known to man

Just watch how Williams celebrate Carlos’ podium. This is a team that respects and loves him. This is where he belongs. This is home 💙

Max Verstappen the man that you are

THAT was the best race of the season! Foot perfect strategy, Max, Oscar, Carlos - my three favourite drivers - on the podium. EVERYTHING is to play for next week. My heart is racing! My god #F1 #QatarGP

I have lost spectacularly and am forfeit 3 dares

‘Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.’ - The Player, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead Words to live by, at least until your final exit.

rich dudes got freakier after butlers fell out of fashion, like say what you will about having domestic servants but clearly it was some sort of moderating force on old rich dudes having a fancy man follow you around saying shit like "oh dear sir, that wouldn't be very becoming"

Playing Uno with dare wagers, this could get risky

In his father’s trousers Friedrich Seidenstücker, ca. 1950

Evening’s doodling #wutheringheights

Just Artist Things ™

Its miserable weather in the UK so how about some early medieval facts? I present a short dive into viking raids on England before the famous raid on Lindisfarne in 793 #VikingSky #MedievalSky #Vikings

I love how dramatic the cars are when they spin out. It’s so unnecessary, they touch a tiny bit of gravel and suddenly turn into a highly-strung racehorse having a complete overreaction of a spook because the grass felt weird

Emily Brontë’s words have jumped from the page to my mind to my drawing hand - WIP

If you're looking for a purpose, find it in your capacity to be kind. It is the most accessible, most powerful and most enduring way to make a difference.

Today will be primarily be spent re-reading Wuthering Heights, listening to the bleak deluge of rain outside, and imagining myself lost in wild and windswept moorland pursued by a ghost.

I think life would be better if more people read books and spent time looking up at the stars

Panting and snorting like a mad battle steed that has lost its rider, the masterless ocean overruns the globe.

Elephants need more space than zoos can provide. So where should they go? Europe's first large-scale elephant sanctuary is about to launch in Portugal, promising a place that the elephants can live out their final years with space and companionship www.ft.com/content/060a...

Patting myself on the back for boycotting the evils of Black Friday (I over-procrastinated buying the tyres)

It’s been a bit of a week of it, but improved when yesterday my brother came home for the weekend, with a beautiful bunch of surprise flowers for me in tow. He’s the absolute bloody best.

If you loved THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE, then you'll love its action-packed sequel, PRINCE CASPIAN! The Pevensie children are back, even Edmund, but what about all your favorite friends: Mr. Tumnus, the Beavers, the friendly giant? Well, they've been dead for a thousand years. Sorry.

Let the dark come, but softly; It's time to retreat. The belly of the year Can hold us close and comfortably, Like soft flesh made for landing. Rest, rest, like apples in the cellar. Like dough left to rise. The noble rot will come and Turn fruits into wine. (@strangersbodies)

The study is complete. Results show that subject is a broken man.

Just heard the first mouse of winter tippy-tap its way across the attic

Will forever be sad I missed my calling as a marine biologist through terrible uni course choice, but this could be the next best thing…

Watching two crows hopping across the field. Both are taking turns to chase each other, stopping to let the other one overtake them before passing in turn. Sometimes one will bounce into the air and fly a few feet before inviting the other to follow in a game of crow tag. It’s adorable.

Listening to this year’s Reith Lecture from Rutger Bregman. As ever perfectly topical and fascinating, also quite anger-inducing: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Finished up a procreate sketch study of the latest addition to my hear me out cake…mostly because I wanted to try and capture the light, but I think I could draw this long-haired sad version of Jacob Elordi over and over again without *ever* getting bored #frankenstein #digitalart #guillermodeltoro

Weird the way the entire world went mad and only the creator of the IT Crowd was unaffected.

The one thing I need to do today is buy four tyres, because there’s a Black Friday discount (on tyres?) and my tread is low. But I’m also livid at the fact it’s going to cost nearly £500 just before xmas, so I am procrastinating. The discount is probably going to end before I finally give in

I'd ban betting apps and websites on the sole basis you shouldn't be able to ruin your life while sitting on the toilet

Wait, politicians can be funny? And sincere?

I adore this little creature with all of my heart

I wake up and the sky is dashed with pinks and purples, and birds are chattering, and when I get out of bed to go and shower, the dog moves from where she has been sleeping in the night to curl up, nose to tail, on the spot where I’ve just been laying

me: do you have any black friday deals? doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood

70% of the additional spending from removing the two-child limit will go to families who are in work. This is targeting support for low-income working households who are being priced out of a decent standard of living despite doing everything asked of them.

I have only about three novel length replies in me per day and then I have to go recharge for 14 hours whilst procrastinating my response, if you’re gonna send a novel back to my novel just leave me on read it‘d be kinder

Creating a Max Verstappen wishing circle for this weekend. With the right situation and points allocation, I still believe 33 can do it… #f1 #qatargp

A very good list! although I would put Master & Commander at the top (of every list, not just this one) and will forever continue to do so

Wearing knee length boots underneath wide leg jeans perfectly negates all the swishy cold ankle breeziness, and is a life hack I wish I’d discovered much earlier

I was talking to my parents the other night about where my worldview came from. I put it down to their influence when I was growing up, but my mother said it was more to do with all the German philosophy I read as a teen. Classic question, isn’t it? Nietzsche versus nurture.

Having previously bragged about headaches for me being so rare that I can “barely remember the last time I had one”, I have now been personally attacked by karma