There’s no such thing as a post birth abortion. But maga are convinced, this is a real thing.

It's 2015. President Barack Obama has accepted a "sky palace" jumbo jet from the Qatari government, which he'll own after he leaves office. "Everybody relax," he says in an interview with the New York Times. Everyone does. The networks then televise the military parade in his honor on his birthday.

"Alice Chamber, who, after three vaginal births, can no longer hiccup without wetting her pants, and who will be honored for her sacrifice with eggs benedict and a necklace made from rigatoni."

I just really need everybody to understand that everything that’s happening in and to the global economy now (and all the businesses and people in it) is the entirely predictable result of the intentional decisions of one guy who doesn’t understand how the global economy works.

Yessssssss

Only important news. (Rat)

what is fascinating to me is the number of people whose “knowledge” of government appears to just be an accumulation of cliches and stereotypes + an inchoate sense that if something is big and costly then it must necessarily be “wasteful”

MAJOR BREAKING: INDIA ATTACKS PAKISTAN WITH MISSILE STRIKES IN AT LEAST 3 LOCATIONS

I love my job as the guy who adds a fake “keep me signed in” checkbox to every website that does nothing

Important: I have raised funny kids

Damn that even looks like a Brownshirt manhandling her

One must imagine Sisyphus on wellbutrin

For folks saying,"Ignore the Pope thing! He wants to offend you! Don't you get it!" I have this rule I follow. I say what I think. I don't get into second order head games in which I think I'm outwitting someone else by strategically not saying what I think. Perhaps Im simple. But that's how I roll.

AOC: Tom Homan said he was going to refer me to DOJ because I’m using my free speech rights in order to advise people of their constitutional protections… to that I say: Come for me… Do I look like I care? There’s nothing illegal about it and if they want to make it illegal, they can come take me.

All of this on a weekday we’re in complete awe of you. You always rise to every call to action. You’re amazing, and words can’t express how much we love and appreciate you all.

Mohsen Mahdawi is free!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

it really is astounding that a presidential administration crashed the growth trajectory of the wealthiest country on the planet in basically two months

Asylum seekers, legal residents and applicants with dates in an immigration court are NOT UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS. Being a non-citizen does NOT make someone undocumented.

Taps mic: “uh is this on? It is? Good. Ahem… THIS IS NOT WHY PEOPLE DONT TRUST YOU ASSHAT MCGEE!”

this is precisely how twitter would have been in germany in the 1940s

The worst thing about living in this country is the tens of millions of people who would rather be governed by these despicable rapist morons than let other people be free.

Arresting judges. Threatening allies. Lying about trade deals. Trying to sell campaign merch from the White House. Floating a 2028 run. Deranged. Dangerous. Undemocratic. We must retake our democracy.

This is really really scary and bad www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

We'll be covering this on the show tonight.

I hate the way media fall back on the word "controversy." MSNBC just called SignalGate a controversy, as if there's a rational debate over whether sharing military secrets with a journalist and your wife is a good or bad thing.

Thank you to everyone around the world who helped bring Tesla's net income down 71%! Now THAT is a successful boycott. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

This

Fuck ‘Em

It’s been almost 250 years since we organized a political revolution to overthrow a king and constitute a new democracy. Maybe we’re overdue.

Stop calling it deporting, so MAYBE more Americans will get it. "Deporting" is sending someone back, after due process, to the country they came from, where they arrive a free person. This is human trafficking to a foreign torture prison for the rest of their lives. GET THE LANGUAGE RIGHT.

Personally, I think it should be front page news for at least a month if a sitting US President is using falsified evidence to try and deny due process to a man who has committed no crime, but that’s just me

They would use papyrus

incredible scenes when you have a president who hasn't achieved object permanence

Senator Van Hollen’s commitment to the Abrego Garcia case isn’t performative. Wearing an overnight maxi pad on your ear after an “assassination attempt” is performative.

This is a solid take and I (despite having those thoughts) endorse it.

Okay I’m just saying if you see a masked man in an unmarked car with no warrant breaking car windows or “escorting” someone anywhere, I have no reason to believe they are ICE. Whatever I do to protect my neighbors would be entirely justifiable as they simply look like kidnappers.

If ICE officers do not want to be assault, they should a. Follow the law and b. Dress in uniform with their ID clearly visible. They shouldn't look like ninjas, sledgehammer windows and pulling people off the street without a warrant

Love this vibe. Stealing it.

A lot of people seem to think following the U.S. Constitution is optional—like picking which shoes to wear in the morning. It’s not. If you’re within the boundaries of the United States, the Constitution applies to you.

Whew! Sen Chuck Grassley’s town hall should be a wake-up call for Trump & Republicans. Voters want Kilmar García brought home — and they’re pissed Trump’s thumbing his nose at a Supreme Court ruling. This isn’t “tough on crime,” it’s lawless, un-American trash — and folks know it. This is Iowa!

Wow. No Vitriolic Vancy- you got that way wrong.

Bring back *everyone* who was sent from the U.S. to CECOT in El Salvador. *No one* should be sent there. ALL their rights were violated. ALL of them should come home.

Dear Decent Human Beings in the Military and Law Enforcement, If you are ordered to violate the Constitution by this president, please disobey. The millions who served, suffered, and died before you deserve your courage now.

Chasten and I are relieved that Governor Shapiro and his family are safe. While we wait to learn more, this much is clear: the targeting of a public official and his family - especially a prominent Jewish official on a major Jewish holiday - is unconscionable and has no place in our country.

When you elect a bunch of people who hate and fear government to run your government, you get a government of hate and fear. This is true no matter how many times you're dumb enough to run the experiment.

BREAKING: 36k people showed up in LA for Bernie and AOC’s rally. In the off year. Americans are pissed — and anyone ignoring that is making a big mistake.

This part

Just fyi, if I’m caught on surveillance video and I’m not shifting my bra, messing with my hair, or pulling up my pants or fixing my socks IT AINT ME