I’m held up in a Scottish manor with an old bitch who’s making shrapnel bombs out of chandeliers.

Ever been so high that you force yourself to memorize all the Star Wars movie titles in chronological order? I don’t know why I’m like this.

Ah yes, Florida, the Saudi Arabia of America

If I see another wyt girl in a lace front, I’m going to lose my mind

I love the sub genre of fiction that is “man wanting to be pregnant so bad” to “ah the horrible little man I made!”

Manic-Depressive Friend A Blast While Manic https://theonion.com/manic-depressive-friend-a-blast-while-manic-1819566927/

If all proctologist were just tatted goth mommies we wouldn’t have a problem.

Letsa Go! (Back to Italy)

Thanksgiving Guests Freeze In Disbelief After Teenager Informs Them Of Native American Genocide https://theonion.com/thanksgiving-guests-freeze-in-disbelief-after-teenager-1848076742/

Help, my Italian boyfriend keeps threatening to make something called “The Cheezy Weezy Stinky Pinky Meaty Dwink.” Which is just lasagna blended with milk.

My new most anticipated movie is the inevitable documentary about whatever the fuck is happening behind the scenes of Wicked

The thing about the creature being a relatively attractive and his being one whole guys head, is it helps translate that he’s just a guy. But it also makes the way people react to him feel strange, because that’s just a guy. Tall, pale, scarred, shy? That’s just a type of guy, calm down.

Hear me out, Teyana Taylor as girl blade.

@jamesgunn.bsky.social can you ask Michael Crow what pants Danielle Brooks is wearing in these photos, I’m obsessed with them.

@bscavone13.bsky.social: you know this post comes off as incredibly horny? Me : ugh yeah, it would’ve been hornier if it weren’t for the character limit. You should see the version I put on tumblr.

I need James Gunn’s Superman to crossover with The Batman. Sofia’s history w/ press against Lois’ investigative journalism. And Selina getting caught in the middle of it. I just believe in the power of stories is all.

@comrade-babygrrrl.bsky.social: I hate NyQuil Me: have you tried it over ice? After a long stare Her: you keep that west side shit over there

Fucked up that the mayor of Portland got to be in Portlandia. But Brandon Johnson gets to fight an invading army. #letthisblackmanlive

Just detarnished a silver ring I found in my drawer with aluminum foil, baking soda and hot water. But somehow this isn’t alchemy??

I watch Oliver and Company to remember the twin towers

tits or ass? bro, the way she cannot forget Carcosa where black stars hang in the heavens; where the shadows of men's thoughts lengthen in the afternoon, when the twin suns sink into the lake of Hali; and the way her mind will bear forever the memory of the Pallid Mask.

Weird that the mom from Treasure Planet never figured out that the rat tail was the source of Jim’s juvenile delinquency in the first.

I couldn’t be on the Muppets. I’d call them all the n-word (respectfully).

@zacharyruane.bsky.social I’ve been inspired. Thank you.

they would have had such good interactions together😭 #Superman #Batman #superbat

The best part of people shipping David Corenswet’s Superman and Robbert Pattinson’s Batman is that I think Rachel Brosnahan’s Lois would support Clark having a sad little boyfriend

No one can really compete with the banger filmography of the muppets. Maybe Nolan and Tarantino. MAYBE

Yuh

ChatGPT 5 and it's consequences have me staring at my Dune Shrine, pondering if I'll live long enough to see the Butlerian Jihad in all it's glory.

THE GOD DAMN AIR AND WATER SHOW

Lames: I could never be in Chicago it’s too violent Literally Citizen in Lakeview:

If you’re ever feeling down just remember that God gives his littlest shorts to his sluttiest warriors.

I wish the majestic platypus could be our president.

Lex Luther does have the “Yeah I’ll kill this brown person, but I’m not gonna torture a dog.” Level of ytness

I used Arabic in the chat and it destroyed my friend group

@scottthewoz.bsky.social any insight on the bananomics of Of DK Bananza? Bananas seem to be food, currency, but also hair?

@patrickhwillems.bsky.social I don’t think people are putting enough fucked up birds in movies but please consider an award for best performance of one guy playing two guys for 2025.

BREAKING: The New York Times reports that FEMA failed to answer two-thirds of the calls to its disaster assistance line in the days following devastating floods in Texas, after firing hundreds of call center contractors on July 5.

Adding @scottthewoz.bsky.social to this list even though he is younger than me

He’s in my home

I love that half the fun of playing the NYT puzzle games is sharing the frustration and exasperation of the sick mind that came up with them. Like why do they mention fencing so much?! Who would come up with this as a category, it’s a stretch! The Strands theme is a constant disappointment!

What’s funnier? Baby birth announce on a fishing plaque that’s just a picture of the baby being held like a fish with its stats underneath or ai generated image of the baby as an athlete on a physical stat card. Like parents should have a get a souvenir besides the baby.

I was underneath Clark St dancing with the dolls in a club that was HBO Max Purple, fog machine so thick it tasted like stale saltines.

Anna Taylor Joy’s hair in Furiosa looks too nice for most of the movie. Like is has a slight wave to it until she wakes up in the maggot hole. And I just do think her character would care enough to do that. Also I feel it’s should at least be in a braid or something. So many gears and tires.

This is who RFK Jr. is to me.

B: Oh you think having the shortest month is bad? They made my month cross a boarder. Me:

Speed Racer 2008 is truly the superior racing movie about family

We’d agreed upon Femboy Hooters and Goth IHOP, but I wanted the third to be Himbo Pizza Hut (boyfriend coded) and he wanted Bimbo Burger King (not me, I’m Alt Arby’s) so decided to settle on Trans Pride Taco Bell

Sex is nice and all but have you ever stumbled upon a short cut that reduces the time to do a task in half. That’s orgasmic.

Rewatching #BeeAndPuppycat and I desperately need more. Hopefully one day @natazilla.bsky.social