Joe Garland 🦋
@bsky.dad
📤 3122
📥 561
📝 6419
TV comedy writer EN/FR J'aime Montréal
[sexting] nm just in bed giving myself a joejob
about 3 hours ago
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Im gonna feckin coom
about 3 hours ago
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He’s just like us
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Trump Says He Only Appeared to Nod Off in Last Cabinet Meeting Because It Was ‘Boring’
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/29/us/politics/donald-trump-cabinet-meeting-asleep.html?unlocked_article_code=1.IVA.u3-9.2E5lccw6-Fd4&smid=bs-share
about 3 hours ago
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Joe Garland 🦋
70% of being a parent is nurturing a healthy grudge against one specific three-year-old
about 10 hours ago
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You and me both lady
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about 4 hours ago
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lydelle buster
about 5 hours ago
giuliani? rudy giuliani? from borat 2?
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Drinking hot vanilla like a god damn crackbrain
about 4 hours ago
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Joe Garland 🦋
Well, on the woke side we’ve got Bill Kristol, George Conway, and the NRA. They’ve beaten the likes of Chuck Schumer time and time again… we can only pray they have one more job left in them
about 20 hours ago
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no more monk e-business
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Monks' once-flourishing business abruptly ends
MILWAUKEE — They were dubbed the Millionaire Monks, a small monastic community in rural Wisconsin feted around the world for its wildly successful Internet business selling laser printer inks and tone...
https://www.deseret.com/2011/12/1/20235002/monks-once-flourishing-business-abruptly-ends/
5 months ago
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Chad Loder
about 7 hours ago
wow thank you sir
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perfect sweetie mollz 🎂
about 10 hours ago
I feel like I am going insane I am reading about babies being fed formula mixed with dirty water because theres nothing else and fed food with bugs and denied medical care and locked in a cage and I dont give a fuck about your political strategies!!! What if that was your child!!!
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Imani Gandy
about 12 hours ago
I was just saying to Portia that it is a 4th amendment violation. It's driving me nuts that no one is really talking about how unconstitutional it is to be bashing through people's cars and pulling them out through the window
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70% of being a parent is nurturing a healthy grudge against one specific three-year-old
about 10 hours ago
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My child told me to tell all of you that Mary had a little llama she had some pizza
about 10 hours ago
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Well, on the woke side we’ve got Bill Kristol, George Conway, and the NRA. They’ve beaten the likes of Chuck Schumer time and time again… we can only pray they have one more job left in them
about 20 hours ago
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Joe Garland 🦋
pretty unremarkable
1 day ago
Anyone saying "abolish or defund aren't within grasp in 2026" should hit the airport, get on a plane, fly to TX, drive to the Dilley ICE Detention Center, visit Liam and his father, and speak those exact words to them while maintaining eye contact. They're within grasp--just maybe not your grasp.
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GAME CHANGER: Giuliani breaks with President over abduction of young boy by federal immigration agents
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Mayor Says 'Storm Trooper' Reflects Truth in Miami Case (Published 2000)
https://www.nytimes.com/2000/04/26/nyregion/mayor-says-storm-trooper-reflects-truth-in-miami-case.html
1 day ago
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GAME CHANGER: Giuliani breaks with President over abduction of young boy by federal immigration agents
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Mayor Says 'Storm Trooper' Reflects Truth in Miami Case (Published 2000)
https://www.nytimes.com/2000/04/26/nyregion/mayor-says-storm-trooper-reflects-truth-in-miami-case.html
1 day ago
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Joe Garland 🦋
Nate's Myth
1 day ago
well the time has come and I am now ready to begin Dry January, wish me luck
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Daughter (3) said “look at me daddy I’m a cow dino driving a car” and then she ran around the room going “VROOM VROOM MOO ROAR” which was a better joke than I’ve seen from any of you chuckleheads today
3 days ago
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the postes
1 day ago
if yuo follow me for one good poste that sounds like a you problem. im the posteS
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He’s like Bizarro Pete Rose
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1 day ago
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URGENT: Things are bad. We won’t sugarcoat it. But experts agree they’d be less bad under the usual amount of racism than under the disastrous too much racism we’re stuck with right now. Dems in battleground states need your help NOW. Donate $48
3 days ago
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The only other verified instance of the Def Leppard one-armed drummer situation was when Christine McVie sang Little Lies a full year after she blew up on the Challenger
about 2 months ago
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1 day ago
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I’m only friends with friendless people
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1 day ago
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[gay fred flintstone] WILMA I’M GAY
3 months ago
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You sound like a ass
1 day ago
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🎸Bun So Vile🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
1 day ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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Have one dessert for breakfast, another for lunch, and then a sensible dessert
1 day ago
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[me talking to Hwat] I’ll tell you, Hwat
3 days ago
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Daughter (3) said “look at me daddy I’m a cow dino driving a car” and then she ran around the room going “VROOM VROOM MOO ROAR” which was a better joke than I’ve seen from any of you chuckleheads today
3 days ago
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[me talking to Hwat] I’ll tell you, Hwat
3 days ago
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URGENT: Things are bad. We won’t sugarcoat it. But experts agree they’d be less bad under the usual amount of racism than under the disastrous too much racism we’re stuck with right now. Dems in battleground states need your help NOW. Donate $48
3 days ago
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Joe Garland 🦋
Guys is it too late to just go back to the original amount of racism
3 days ago
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me building an ikea couch
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3 days ago
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Guys is it too late to just go back to the original amount of racism
3 days ago
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Senate Gabe
3 days ago
Just be aware that it is clear the ruling class and the media is hoping this public wind-down lets them keep getting away with everything so people do not organize and crush their oppressors.
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“We have all independently come to the same moral conclusion,” says every member of the party that brought you ICE and is now throwing Noem and specifically only Noem under the bus
3 days ago
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bubbles 🫧💕
3 days ago
so unfair that i wasn't born a beloved house cat to a wealthy family
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I’m not trying to be inflammatory here, but given the history of capital punishment in the United States, is “execute Jonathan Ross” not the moderate position?
4 days ago
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[chuck schumer, walking into my kitchen just as I’m finished braising my beef bourguignon, the nearly complete sauce already finding gloss and cohesion] LETS CHOP SOME MUTHERFUCKIN ONIONS
4 days ago
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amy brown
4 days ago
I am once again reminding you that instead of talking shit about Ms Rachel, simply talk shit about Blippi instead. nobody will argue with you
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Mostly Leftist Supply Depot Bree
4 days ago
We assume that someone will infiltrate the whistle chat and I truly hope they enjoy waking up to 1500-3000 messages from nerds discussing bridging, fine-tuning flow rate to print whistles faster, and posting pictures of their filament storage and/or cats every 7-12 hours.
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I’m not trying to be inflammatory here, but given the history of capital punishment in the United States, is “execute Jonathan Ross” not the moderate position?
4 days ago
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Joe Garland 🦋
Me when I find out my wife has been sleeping with Great Bob
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5 days ago
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me when i learn a cool new french word
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4 days ago
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Joe Garland 🦋
Luke O'Neil
4 days ago
Something jarring about seeing peanut butter and chocolate in the same candy bar.
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Me when I thought I backed up my account, and I deleted the app for more storage to download an app, and I lost all the chats
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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[chuck schumer one week after we all agree to feed ICE to the volcano] ABOLISH ICE
4 days ago
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