Ultimate proof that we have split off into an evil parallel world. In a normal world, a person wouldn't even THINK of this, much less post about it

Last night, I didn't put on 2 of my layers because it really wasn't That cold when I left Lone Tree. I regretted that as soon as I got back to Denver. But I had my knit&fleece hat/face mask/gaiter thingy and that helped a ton

Got the apt clean, rearranged, and perfect for a lazy day in frigid temps just in time to start my work week 😤

I'm giving my apartment a much-needed cleaning, and one thing is very very obvious. I have mostly black furniture and I do not dust enough.

Think about it: someone will be the very first person to open their bottle of champagne when it happens. One person, out of 8.3 billion, is walking around right now not knowing that they will be the very first person on earth to pop the cork when it happens.

I figured out a way to make my "tiny piles of ingredients that aren't touching and have no sauces" plates at lunch less aut-looking. I call them everything plates and my coworkers just say, oh, like girl dinner. Yeeeaaahhhh, that's what I'm doing, you got me, haha!

The owners of the restaurant are in town this week. Sales have been pretty shitty, so I was a little on edge, and then I got a couple pointed questions about why I wasn't doing something. But he accepted my reasoning and said ok, makes sense. And we got told to not bring back a problem staffer.

Please enjoy this article about a porridge-making championship.

It's been a while. You need this. So do your followers.

Although the people of Minnesota are indeed as accustomed to this weather as anybody in the country, I will still say: They’re judicious about spending time outside in it, and they wouldn’t be out there if they didn’t really, really mean it.

they may cosplay Nazis but in Hitler's state Stephen Miller would have been whisked immediately off to the gas ovens & Noem would be earning modest wages prying gold fillings out of the teeth of corpses.

I really wouldn't mind hot flashes...If they happened at the right time. When it's 10 p.m. on a January night with howling winds, I think, ya know, a hot flash would be nice right about now. But Noooo! I'll freeze my ass off for an hour, come home, and then get hot and sweaty 3 hrs later. Absurd

Today's my day off, so of course I woke up at 4:15. At least I can go back to bed at 8 or so.

living in a world where the only two jobs are “gambling” and “murder” isn’t nearly as cool as Cowboy Bebop made it out to be

The Platte. A "miserable yellow melancholy stream" according to Twain, but it counts!

Please read this thread to the end. Thank you

I tried actual fire, hot water, hot air, and yelling. My jar of onion dip remains steadfastly closed. Do I buy a jar-opening gizmo or get a man??? Yeah, you're right. Cheap gizmo. Less disappointing, ultimately.

The world is burning, my government is sick, everything sucks, but fandoms? They're still gonna do their thing. Goddess bless them!!

We had one bad spoon at work. Wrong size, shape, bowl width, it was the spoon everyone put back. I threw it away last night. Deliberately, with multiple witnesses, I tossed it in the bar trash and said, "We're free! Don't tell Chef I'm throwing away silverware. Free!" Everyone clapped* *no one cared

I understand that correlation does not necessarily imply causation but if you look at this graph of when the history channel stopped showing history…

My thermostat is set to 75. I'm wearing sherpa-lined sweats and double socks. I don't know exactly how the contractor justified 2/3 of every apts. outer wall being nothing but windows above uninsulated sheet metal, but I'm sure it saved a couple 100K

It's cold, gray, & windy out. I haven't eaten since midnight, and I'm getting grumpy. I have a sensible, balanced, proper dinner readily available, but no, I'm choosing joy. Cinnamon rolls fresh from the oven, sausage links, a cutie, and hashbrown patties.

Needed a sweet treat for a snack. No cookies, candy, or cakes around. So I made a cup of maple&brown sugar instant oatmeal. It satisfied the sweet itch, but not the indulgence urge. I just couldn't overcome the mental block of breakfast oatmeal being health food

👇👇👇👇

I bought 6 more.

Its not a "NY Resolution" thing, but I'm trying to get back in the habit of incessant reading. 6 days in to the year, & 3 books finished. A good start considering my work schedule

Yes!!!!!

Trump's hand is fake. His real hand was removed. The insiders all know it. Signatures with a fake hand aren't constitutional.

because i only knew some details I had assumed the hand was removed post-first term. But it seems like the story goes back far further.

If you were wondering, 3-2-1 mugcake recipes do not become pancakes just because it's also a quick cooking method. Also, TIL it's "mug cake" not "bowl cake" for a very good reason

Spending the next 4 hours reading and napping so I can start my laundry and dishes as soon as it is no longer New Years Day.

If I started a book midafternoon on 12/31/2025 & finished it at 1:06 a.m. on 1/1/2026, does that make it my last book of 2025 or the first book of 2026?

May It Happen early on in the year. I don't think I can take much more of this 1 year = 5 yrs B.C. ( before covid)

A long December, and there’s reason to believe, maybe this year It Will Happen

I decided that doing ALL** the NYE superstitions was my plan for tonight. So. Since 'what you're doing at midnight isxwhat you'll be doing all year', at 11:55 p.m. MST, I'm going to start reading my neglected book stacks **no first-footers & I'm subbing pork tamales for ham hock & cornbread

Anyone else missing @sassycrass.bsky.social today in particular? Her "How to and What Not to Do" NYE posts were always a high point of social media

I've overslept for work the last 3 days. Today is my day off, so naturally, I woke up before 6. Grrrrrrrr.

happy New Year to my fellow vaccinated people about to make it to 2026

Hey you know what this year fucking sucked.

New Bluesky class project just dropped. We can get started overmorrow since that's New Year's Day!

This is the dream. I have no desire to talk to my hair people. Just change me from slimy bog witch to human, no chit chat

These make some of his burritos sound edible in comparison

Fifteen years ago I felt pretty embarrassed pronouncing a word wrong, but now I’m just boasting like “oh yeah I guess I only know that one from READING it in a BOOK”

Wine Job Yeah yeah Butter Ok, that last one was a surprise

If these were on the coffee table and a Vienetta was in the freezer, someone IMPORTANT was coming over, and my hair & dress better not be mussed up when they arrived

I gathered up all the books I bought this year but haven't read yet. I thought it would be nice to have a single TBR pile. But, as it turns out, a pile would require engineers and scaffolding. Behold, my book bag! I'm officially not allowed to buy any books until I get through half of the stash

I think the best part of Christmas with the family was that our host, after feeding us an incredible prime rib dinner, kicked everyone out at 6:30! No ifs, ands, or buts, just get out so I can watch Stranger Things w/o distractions. I was home at 7:30 and asleep at 8.

Gingerbread is in the oven! Last year it was a little dense, dry and juuust slightly overdone. So I made 2 changes to the recipe this year. I added 2 oz of gingerale to help moisten and lighten it up and I noted what time I put it in the oven. 🤞