It’s good to have good neighbours. Equally, when you have a litigious retired lawyer for a neighbour, who doesn’t actually live there, but acts like a NIMBY anyway, it can be really fucking aggravating.

I can’t stop looking at it. #PUSB

The Beast is slain! #PUSB

Woke up from a dream we’d beaten Stoke and I was all content for a few minutes before reality hit me. Been anxious as hell all day so far. #PUSB

My company food allowance is £50 per day. Realised I can buy a couple of homeless people a sizeable meal whenever I travel and consume fewer calories at the same time. Makes me feel great and have had some great chats with real people. Do it if you can.

Okay given she’s ninety years old (and turns 91 in under a month) I think my dream combo of Dame Judi Dench and Daniel Craig is perhaps not feasible, but who else would be on your wish list for Celebrity Traitors S2?

I hear yer ma won traitors

@ivanbrett.bsky.social everyone’s still talking about Jonathan’s reveal but my wife and I are still here reminiscing about your reveal. Absolute cinema. Did you have it in your head beforehand or was it all off the cuff?

went to the gym and then had a steak bake and I don’t feel bad about it whatsoever

Too many of these obviously fake fesses lately.

We’re waiting, Alan.

Because today had been super stress free*, the coat hook rack decided to pull itself down from the wall, leaving a pair of giant holes in the masonry. *not actually true.

I bought Backtrackin’, the 2x CD compilation of Eric Clapton’s greatest hits, with a book token from my local music shop in Earlsdon. And by ‘music shop’ I mean ‘a shop that sold musical instruments’. They also sold a handful of records. Would have been maybe 1992 or 1993.

If you want your humous to go further, add some mung beans and it becomes humongous.

Snake? Snake! Snaaaaaake!!!

It’s basically Deep Space Nine.

By order of the faithful you have been banished. Signed, the faithful.

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

Why has this not been wrestled to the ground and smashed by the crowd? Every person who stood by and didn’t do that is part of the problem.

This remains one of the greatest mixes of all time. on.soundcloud.com/7fc5LnGfZCDl...

Apparently these photos were in Parade magazine in the 90s, and I desperately want to find the original photos. Please can we source them? www.tumblr.com/trekheritage...

Farting is such sweet sorrow. #CelebrityTraitors

Alan is full of surprises! #CelebrityTraitors

That head of Mark Bonnar is an uncanny likeness. #CelebrityTraitors

This was in my local train station 3 year ago.

About to drop my debut grime album

We were denied some of Jonathan Ross’s more outrageous outfits at the round table. #CelebrityTraitors

God what a show this was. Just perfection.

For sale in my local Oxfam window: this really old print of Sandra Bullock. £14.99. You’d love to know the story behind who donated that, thinking: definitely somebody will pay money for this.

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

me preparing to descend into the AI Slop Sewers. futurism.com/artificial-i...

Was just reading about the history of BST, clocks changing etc, and discovered that the dude who campaigned for it in the early 20th century, a builder called William Willett, is the great-great grandfather of Chris Martin from Coldplay, which is what the song “Clocks” should be about, but isn’t

Bournemouth, Sunderland and Man United all in the top five. Clearly a season for underdogs!

There were some hints The Wet Bandits had been in the area.

lol.

Trouble in the Horner household tonight. #pusb

The legend that is the Japanese Ambassador to the UK enjoying a bowl of Scouse in Liverpool

All these years later and I still think that final scene from Breaking Bad’s Half Measures might be the greatest single moment in TV drama.

The renovated White House is gonna look sick.

I just got asked to review the Adobe Authenticator app *whilst it was sending me my security code*

Only one way to resolve this. #CelebrityTraitors

Just wait until the Daily Heil hears about the king

I love how we gone all the way from the internet envisioned as something resilient enough to survive nuclear attack to that xkcd ‘dependency’ comic, only it’s AWS this time

Customised my new UniFi G4 Doorbell with a Hollow Knight theme for Halloween.