Over the holiday, Mom and I were lamenting how badly search engines and AI assistants suck nowadays. She understood crawling, indexing, and answering based on your keywords. But she wanted to know - who puts all this info online in the first place? Uh, a bunch of random guys with hobbies, basically

Do be like that, Mr Stancil

Found one reason why so many millennial New Yorkers are completely fucked in the head

A meeting in Buffalo? A meeting of buffalo? A meeting about buffalo? Is buffalo meat going into the pies? (yum, I hope so)

i won’t be able to sleep a wink tonight because i’m so excited to see my favorite macy’s parade float

"I DON'T KNOW WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS, BUT" Nobody owes you a god damned thing. Be graceful, not petulant. You're allowed to feel disappointed when you don't get what you want. You're also expected not to blame other people for your own problems. Knock it off with the pity party shit. Grow up.

You have to separate the cheese from the cheesemonger

Remember back when there were normal basic-ass pensions and everyone didn't have to plow their retirement contributions directly into mutual funds? I do

Count your blessings. @theonion.com

In honor of Chicago's dumbest tradition, Shawnimals and I made THE MUST HAVE gift of the year- the Dibs Chair inaction figure- a toy which can double as a holiday ornament! Get em while you can- available as singles, 5 packs and 10 packs!

Man, there is (was?) a famous pickle-wich place in Jersey that I've been trying to get to for YEARS. Every time I visit Philly I try to make a plan to get over there and it's just never worked out. Now you're telling me I can just go to Jimmy Johns any old time? WTF indeed.

if i think about anything for more than a couple of minutes it ruins my day

My doggy went out it's an animal You know he can play the piano C'est bella pizza, she forgot it Contueno Chen enters the party No'supposed to be looking at bellies To belly mejust is so quelly I may not eat all your decent toes He won't keep me mooching the rent-o dream1.swf, 2001, Patrick Leonard

cracked

Google, the company thst spontaneously changed Chrome, search and other behaviors so copy-pasting links directs then through the Spyware share.google service, wants you to know it is very hurt you would think that Gmail's smart features would invade your privacy and asks you to stop thinking that.

Chip For Change: Tenacity is out! 18 brand spanking new #chiptune bangers from a crazygood roster of artists! All proceeds go to the ACLU! The album is pay what you want, so even if you can't donate, please, enjoy the tunes! BANDCAMP: bitcrushed.bandcamp.com/album/chip-f... #musicsky #musiciansky

I'm losing my mind over all the dead leaves scattered everywhere

It's really cute how if you put a URL into an amazon wishlist as free text, it just straight up wordfilters to "REDACTED" like it's trying to be a late-1990s message board or something

1929 📷 Fosco Maraini

how it feels to be correctly criticized for my words and actions

One big reason to be angry over the continued devaluation of the dollar is that it lends a false legitimacy to cryptocurrency, a.k.a. the herbal supplements of money If you hate AI, you should really hate crypto - it's the same business model 1) run CPUs forever 2) melt glaciers 3) ??? 4) profit!

lmao, money isn't even fucking real anymore (though somehow it becomes very real if I fail to remit my mortgage or property tax payments!!!)

I would encourage you all to boycott Food in order to register your displeasure

Now YOU can own the scented candle that accidentally caught fire to the famed train and burned all the children to a crisp!

when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare

Departing Skegness. 7 March 2020. #railway #photography

One thing that unfortunately hasn't changed is that pro wrestling is still as fucking stupid and still as fucking popular as ever

happy 100th birthday to Mel Brooks

Mark your calendars for October 25, 2048 - it's right around the corner (also, when's the last time anyone has buried a time capsule? Y2K?)

State Street in 1965. h/t @trolleydodger.bsky.social

a lot of people have been enabled to create a lot of dreadful things just because those around them were too polite to say "no, it stinks"

"Two Wives Talking" (1874) by the Danish painter Carl Heinrich Bloch (1834-1890) #art #painting #painters #BlueSkyArt

Every single morning

The progressive movement has abandoned the idea of taking from the rich to give to the poor (the money is just too gosh darn well-hidden! it's too heccin hard to get our paws on it uwu) and so decided to aim lower, coming after anybody who simply owns a home and/or car. Jealousy makes useful idiots

America is a nation of a trillion billion little white lies don't feel like completing the routine task? just check it off the list anyway! 🤫 got the wrong answer? it's ok, mostly everyone else did too! 🤫 not qualified for the job? no problem, just talk your way around the interview! 🤫

1920

Whenever I donate old books to the charity store I always sign them with a sharpie a fake signature by the author. I've done some big names including Obama and Anthony Bourdain. I don't know why I do this but I hope the charity shop has been able to extract a bit more cash.

The Baron will see you now. Don’t keep him waiting… Traveling through space & time to bring Boston the chiptune of 20XX, join Dr. Wilde, Billy Lightning, Commander Robert Bruce Murphy,& The Baron as they ride the waves of their newest album, FUTUREPROOF, right to Boston Bitdown 2026!

My legislators need to buckle down and fix the real issues once and for all. For example, explicitly banning trucks off the left lane on the freeway.

INFANTILIZING YOUR ENEMY: an implicit admission that you've lost the argument and are grasping the last straw INFANTILIZING YOURSELF: um. Maybe it's time for the hard drive checker to pay you a visit

In November 1999, the Zombo dot com website was created as a parody of the creative, but, largely pointless flash intros, which were trending at the end of the 1990s. Welcome... to ZomboCom. #WebDesignHistory