I can still recall basically every detail from the morning when I finally clocked Donkey Kong on my Game N Watch - I remember the light, the temperature, the quiet of the house. That was 44 years ago.

If I won Powerball I'd buy Derek a cat-friendly mid-century modern house in the walkable neighbourhood of his choice, on the proviso that he accompanies me on at least two overseas shopping trips a year because I don't know which tailors have the juice in Seoul or where to get bespoke shoes in Milan

Russell Crowe. But also Scott Morrison, John Pilger, George Miller and so many others Wikipedia has a category for notable alumni with 212 entries that each have their own page.

please enjoy these classic Moon Tweets™

Please, sir, can I have some more?

If Herzog is just a figurehead like the GG then why the fuck is anyone meeting with him to discuss an Australian killed in Gaza, or settlements in the West Bank? Either he's complicit in the genocide or you're making a big deal about speaking truth to a decorative houseplant.

Please, sir, can I have some more?

ICE vs. NSW Police. Spot the difference.

Whoever sent me a chat request, I ain't verifying my age so I can't see who you are, sorry

Last year my son, who was in Year 7 had to buy a $200 textbook for PE at a public school. I remember Year 7 PE. we'd play dodgeball, or do laps around the tennis courts. He's just started Year 8 and the textbook doesn't appear to have ever been opened.

Jeff Bezos diverting thousands of Amazon warehouse workers to log in and give Melania a thumbs up like Verruca Salt's father at the nut factory

JFC. We already know how this ends.

Australia's liberal abortion laws need to change immediately. I'm 50 years old, but because of woke I'm legally obliged to attend my own medical termination on Wednesday because my mother decided she's "not ready for kids".

Not to downplay how impressive the collective action in Minnesota is but you just have to look outside the country to see this sort of thing (Google 'South Korea general strike' for an example) but it's great to see Americans rediscovering the power of solidarity.

Any news org that publishes "Elon Musk says that x will happen at y point in the future" should be ignored forever. Motherfucker said he'd put a man on Mars by 2019, release a Tesla Roadster in 2020, X would be a banking app two years ago. Why would you ever report on his vapor-ass statements?

"...Hofmann failed to identify any molecules of interest. The team concluded that the stories they heard from the field must have been cultural tales rather than having any pharmacological basis, and no further research was done" WTF? Eat them you cowards, what kind of mushroom researchers are you?

I'd really like to spend the rest of my life eating soup in South East Asia, but as a bald 50yo white man I can't really move there because nobody will believe I'm there for the soup.

Wow they're really getting desperate about the fact that nobody wants to use AI. Outlook for Android has now put a copilot button up against the "new email" button as chubby thumbs are their best hope for engagement with this bullshit

If ghosts aren't real, how do you explain the *existence* of ghosts?

My son has been very unenthusiastic about my suggestion that we go to Japan later this year. Showed him this and now he's all in.

Sure, having kids has hurt my finances, ability to travel/sleep, and I'm forced to spend time with the douchebag parents of their friends, but now I have an 11yo who knows exactly how much soju to mix with a beer while I laze on the couch, so good decision overall.

Yes there are poo balls in the water on Sydney's beaches but locals continue to swim, undeterred.

A dude at the gym once asked me if I knew about a muscle building diet called the "Balkan Cut".

Given that the US military hasn't really had an outright win since they took credit for the Russians' victory in WWII, I'm not betting on them holding it down in Iran, Greenland and Venezuela simultaneously during the upcoming civil war.

There comes a time when just thinking about slow cooking another pork shoulder with black beans makes you want to walk into the ocean

In Australia we had to make soap and deodorant beer-flavored to get men to wash their asses

Capitalism rules. I've spent the last ten minutes fighting for my life on the toilet as some bug tears through my body, shitting myself dry and thinking "huzzah, I can take tomorrow off and spend time with my kids".

The Maribyrnong River, which I'm fortunate to have running about 500 metres from home. I walk maybe 30km a week along its shoreline

I wonder what % of Chinese people identify as Communist? Does that make everyone who attacks Communism a Sinophobic racist? Critical thinking is MIA.

dumb nazi bitch lmao 😂

Diminish a band Public Nuisance

Diminish a band Clap your hands say I guess

Diminish a band Walk DMC

There's huge overlap between IT pros (and other nerds) and jacked guys at the gym. Lifting weights is measurable, gamefied out of the box, allows you to accumulate data that can be analysed and requires no human interaction to excel at. The biggest guy at your gym is likely an engineer or programmer

It's gonna be 55 degrees on Tuesday morning and 101 on Wednesday afternoon. Everything's fine.

Living dangerously: Guy delivering edibles texted to say he's six minutes away and be outside when he arrives, and I decided I could go for a poop between now and then. Come on body, let's do this.

I was doing some heavy barbell glute bridges at the gym at Oberlin and the assistant coach for the women's basketball team told me I "looked like I was a surefire gold medal at the next fucklympics"

10am, December 25th. Eating a phenomenal Bun Bo Hue, half drunk on Somaek (4 parts Soju + 6 parts beer) lounging on the couch in my short shorts with the cat on my lap, watching movies. 'Tis the motherfucking season, merry Christmas everyone.

Finally watched John Wick 4

SUPERVISOR: I need to speak with some of you in my office ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst

In the past I would from time to time get sad that my life decisions hadn't made me stupendously wealthy. Nowadays it's really hard to imagine that would've been a better outcome. I'll happily take "not starving and also not a colossal prick who disgusts everyone he encounters" over billions.

Fusion recipes be like "take this incredibly tasty and healthy recipe and add a cup of heavy cream, two cups of mozzarella and three tablespoons of brown sugar, voila!"

The strongest guy at my gym currently deadlifts 245kg. I'm going to deadlift 247.5kg tomorrow so I'm going in two hours earlier than usual so he won't see it because he's the most encouraging, supportive dude and I just can't do that to him.

Miss me with that Duolingo shit until they start offering Proto Uralic.

Pro tip: if you keep looking at your phone while watching tv/movies, switch to exclusively non-English language content. You can't read subtitles while doomscrolling. It'll take you a little while to stop doing it but you'll get so annoyed by the constant rewinding that you'll learn to put it down.

Every year at Xmas Plex creates a "Santa's Nice List" playlist of any"Christmas Movies" in your collection and if you thought "Die Hard" was a controversial Xmas film, this year "Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence" and "Wake In Fright" are on the list. The latter will ruin your festive season quick smart.

Last year my kids wanted Jordans, a gaming PC, slime and comics for birthday/Xmas gifts. This year it was a drum kit, a MIDI controller, knitting looms and crochet kits... It's so cool to see them turn into little creatives instead of consumers. My son's making techno upstairs and it's pretty good!

Make someone fall in love with you in three words or fewer: I correct grammar Am I doing this correctly?