Let’s talk about sedition and treason, because the most powerful yet inadequate man in the world is having a tantrum about it, and his soulless, spineless sycophants are boosting his message. /1

If you’re still in line, STAY IN LINE

the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist

if getting rid of bill clinton is the deal they're offering in return for getting rid of trump i will build the wicker man myself

man. if Eric Schmitt's speech to NatCon isn't a sign of the times, i don't know what is

My new premium newsletter is about polls showing that liberals are cutting off their conservative family members, and my theory that this might happen not because liberals are more sensitive, but because conservatives are less tolerable.

Interview with The Clash 1982 #TheClash

This stuff doesn’t look very protect-and-serve-y

This is a new image from #JWST. The bright points with spikes are stars in the Milky Way. Everything else is a galaxy. Everything. Else. Is. A. Galaxy.

The irony is no one makes fun of Dolly Parton more than Dolly Parton, who has always known the best way to defang snark is to get there first and do it better and then run a hugely successful business and philanthropical empire while everyone else is still thinking about jokes

Still kind of incredible that Trump spun out a very revealing fantasy about kind Nazis yesterday and it was barely mentioned anywhere.

ME: [turns out pockets, shakes sleeves] THERAPIST: is that all of them ME: [stares at depression, anxiety, C-PTSD, ADHD piled up on table] yep that’s everything THERAPIST: amy ME: fiiiine [pulls attachment disorder from ankle holster, adds to the pile]

JIMINY GLICK: Now you, you, you, you—your cars, they tend to run over pedestrians. Or else BURST into flames. ha HA isn't that wonderful! ELON MUSK: *the least convincing laugh of all time* GLICK: *tucking his legs under himself* You bought a website where no one likes you. Why?

Saw Purple Rain on the big screen for the first time in over 40 years. Took everything I had not to sing every word LOUDLY. So many giddy Gen Xers in a packed theater. My only complaint is that it wasn’t 6 hours long. I miss him still and often. ☔️💜 #purplerain

Happy Valentines! #goldenretrievers

Hey NYTimes — *now* you’re lighting the beacons? NOW?!? After months of “Sauron: Avatar Of Evil… Or Extreme Uniter?” thumbsucker reporting you’re screaming what we’ve known since 2015? Fuck all the way off.

Hey man sorry to hear about all your political turmoil. Would it help if I scrolled around on the computer all day and drove myself insane?

Mares are so ungrateful. When the snacks are gone, so is Rosebud.

Sunday goat stroll to keep my sanity while a sociopathic billion tries to burn it all down.

Baby Fern isn’t a baby anymore. 😭 💙🐐

Fat boy loves cake

Bug better look out. The horses aren’t into sharing.

Oh look. A President, a Governor, a Mayor - all at the crash site at the Chesapeake Bay with first responders. Not swimming. Showing empathy and leadership.

They’re selling tshirts, I just bought the pink one. Scroll through comments for the link. “No Nazi Bullshit.”

I just bought the pink one. Scroll through comments for the link. The speed with which he gave that Nazi b*tch a “fuck no” alone was worth a $40 tee. I’ll be proud to wear it.

The store is now selling "I will de-Nazify shit but I will not re-Nazify shit" tshirts and I hope they sell a million of them, lol

We’re all crazy about him.

Pretty crazy about all three of them. ❤️