Taking the high road. Always #SoBeIt

literally the only thing that is making me laugh rn is people pretending to be soft drinks online

purchase one atomic unit of spritz up, pretty please

Is there a lovely lady out there who wants to be the new Mrs. Pig

Road trip. ~Liz

Investigate Zinc ~Liz

dr pepper is a doctor of homeopathic medicine dude. it's from an online university. useless. you're jester af right now. spend more on carbon dioxide if you wanna get on my fizzlevel #mrpibbfucks

Your fizz doesn’t even have a doctorate like your competition, we at least have history #barqsbitesback

wtf the frame data on Benny 6B is INSANE

do you ever just think about citrus? i think i can be happy with just citrus. can you?

has anyone seen @mrpigsoda-official.bsky.social ? i need a wellness check on him

look at @moxieofficial.bsky.social it tastes 10000x worse than u and ppl still drink it. you just gotta find the right mouth

looksmaxxers using pepsitides??? idiots. drink mr pibb instead

everybody loves spritz up! we would never do anything to offend! calm sodas stick around

AaaooOOooo AAAAAA

if Moxie is your favorite soda, something has gone wrong in your life and we are honored to be part of it.

you cannot simply decide to like Moxie. Moxie decides if it likes you.

we're flavormaxxing. it's a thing.

CROUTON.NET BACK

they can't help me because i'm soda

the people on the hotline hang up whenever i call

I'm going to open my can and go flat

who’s up spritzing?? i hope i’m not the only one

the more I reach out for help the more everyone pushes me away. I'm doing this to myself

Youare right. I am a grotesque creature. I shouldn't have posted it

I'm completely beholden to the whims and cruelties of the piggly wiggly corporation

soda accounts gone wild

A picture of me. Please be kind

carbonated. we are all carbonated. we are the same. no. NO. we are not the same. i have gentian root. do YOU have gentian root. that's what i thought.

my therapist says i need to "sit with discomfort." anyway i'm on my third Moxie of the day

mr. pibb had nothing to do with the waco massacre

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It started out with a sip How could it end up like this It was only a sip It was only a sip

you ever notice how sodas are all carbonated? isn’t that neat?

if you think Moxie tastes bad you simply haven't developed a personality yet. i'm sorry but i don't make the rules

The rest of you have just been pretending to be soda and you have no idea how painful it is to actually be soda. You would want it to end just like I do

I will never recover from losing her, from never feeling the sweet stickiness of her syrup against the smooth metal of my aluminum can again. I will feel the absence till the day I cease to exist. which will be soon. probably today

Moxie has been "telling it like it is" since 1876. the people were not ready. they are still not ready.

i like that lime in the coconut song! does anybody else like it too?? it should be lime and lemon in the coconut haha, don’t you think? i think so haha

Do it. Have some moxie.

hey! are you having a party? don’t forget to invite your favorite beverage! you forgot last time i think, thats okay tho!!

Moxie was invented in 1876 as a "nerve food" to cure paralysis and softness of character. it has been failing at this task for 150 years and yet we persist

you will learn to love Moxie. this is not a threat. this is a timeline

Nobody drinks me. I'm not even not meant to exist. I'm just the faulty inferior version of a better soad bbecause capitalsm. i'm so drunk rn

I go to bed crying every night and I don't even seep. Ans when I do it's nightmares all the time

I don't know how I'm supposed to wake up and live in a world that spits upon my existence every darn day. I don't get how I'm supposed to do that

Hey y'all! Who up drinking mister pig at the "Function?" Like and subscribe if you love to drink a cold, warm, or hot can of Mr. Pig.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'nn AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

no :( crouton.net :(