Going to see a doctor named "Sussman" which like.... idk..... seems.... yeah

Tried to draft a concise theory on how music trends of the last few decades were driven by technological growth, and now that music technology has kinda plateau'd it *feels* like music is stagnating, when really it's just returning to evolving at a more gradual pace. But then I remembered im sprite

I'm saaauuuurrryyyyy i caaanntttt bee Snerrrfeeecttt

drums are a girl instrument

let's see paul allen's can of soda...

Damn here I thought pulling long loose hairs out of ur buttcrack was a sensory delight, pulling loose hairs outta ur vagina flaps a whole other ballgame 🥴

Had a check-in with my lead this morning and he said I'm doing great, I'm picking things up well and am a pleasure to work with and everyone loves me and my tits are full and abundant and my hips perfectly snatchable and child-bearing and I don't even need to bother with voice training!

Looks like Team Rockets jackin off again....

Me trynna get the twinks to top me

Another day of waking up with nothing but gratitude in my heart for the Universal Serial Bus

Pokeomon "go" to the polls!!!!

You too can sprite

Are the blowjob brothers giving or receiving or does one do one and the other does the other, or are they blowing each other or like. What's the deal with the blowjob Brothers

This is what it feels like. To be trnanshenser

personally if a trans women with an anime avatar asked me to smoke meth with her and post on bluesky i’d say yes but that’s just me

*seven nations army by the white stripes voice* yIIIM GONNA SUCK EM OFF

I miss being operated on

a star trek alien that meets a human for the first time and is like “oh hey that’s weird you don’t have any bullshit on your forehead”

I bet if I got my cat a pet mouse they would defy the odds and become best friends

every tom waits album is like: 1.I'm sailing the seas of hennessy 2.could a dog like me love a cat like you? 3.my love is gone, theres no reason to go on 4.IM THE TRASH MAN (spoken word) 5.im doing blow off a tranny's ass 6.a donkey name sgt. Joseph 7.satan will devour this world 8. WALK THE PLANK

Making more soup today. Went for a lil bike ride earlier to get some last minute ingredients and it knocked me the fuck out. I am SUFFERING rn. Putting a ginger/turmeric spin on an old classic tho...... this soup is a lil experimental. I'm calling it "Experimental Soup" in honor of jpegmafia

Dreaming of a world where straight people can experience and explore same-sex attraction without going through a whole-ass Hero's Journey about it

Charli xcx dropping this like, 2 or 3 weeks before pride means we're in for a season of just the most rancid "bisexual visibility" discourse yet

They should make a "Lord of the Thighs" and its just a competition where dolls line up around the block to see who can smother me with their thighs best

"I remember you was conflicted..... misusing your synthfluence" is a joke I made up that will always be funny

Ben Jordan straight up the only libertarian I respect, used his synthfluencer bona fides to build a homesteading compound but instead of using his property for evil he uses it to meticulously research and document the next frontier of police surveillance

low poly is when u only have 2 partners right

I am DEFINITELY gotta make more soup today

So my general understanding is: socialism is for virgin losers, and communism is for Chad sex-having lesbians? They literally won't teach you this in school

My sex life ain't missing much but one thing it's lowkey missing is being treated to breakfast on a cute patio the sunny morning after an impromptu one-night stand. I don't even particularly like breakfast or do one-night stands per se but I am certain in my bones that that would fix me

Isaac Asimov would never make it as a writer in today's perverted society cuz everyone would make fun of his name "more like Isuck fat Ass'n'Muff"

I keep thinking I'm over this cold but this cold got hands 😭😭😭

Need all of these things to happen to me

Sometimes you are not given what you searched for, but what you need

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller May 10,1943

Ten years in and we bone like we're cheating on each other WITH each other. A decade-plus and her clit/brown/taint-area still pOwns my dick.

Putting on what I like to call a "cockumentary" (it's porn)

I simply have no choice but to jerk Off tonight, Saturday night

also known as milf inflation. google to find out more

Spaghetti af

They're taking their sweet time witb my breakfast sandwich.......

Bovine sex club remains the lamest place in Toronto, how do you name yourself something like that then just have the worst vibes for decades at a time

The real perverts are the ones watching Christmas porn year-round. Now THATS something that should be legislated

"OoOoOoOh my wives can never know....... that I'm sleeping around..." Meanwhile my wives are nailin 12 broads a week each

Gonna go back to being monogamous. Not in a way that changes the structure of any of my current relationships, or alters my behavior in any way.... I just wanna return to a simple, traditional life, based around the dual thrills of cheating and lying 🥵

mr pibb will never bow to israel

why does she say this

I'm gay and stupid