Trying a social media detox this month so I shall see you all anon🫡 I realise it's April Fools Day but this would be a shit and underwhelming one 😂

A while ago a lovely German man appeared at our church. He came a few times to look around during our Saturday opening hours, before asking if the piano abandoned in the corner worked. I told him it was horrendously out of tune, and the cathedral piano tuner had deemed it not worth sorting out.

Haven't heard anything about Boaty McBoatface for a while. Doing good work though I see BBC News - Camera set up to catch Loch Ness Monster unearthed www.bbc.com/news/article...

Tune open.spotify.com/track/3IvTwP...

Struggle cuddle

Thai crispy rice salad. I'm no food photographer but trust me this was fucking ACE

Lunch in the sunshine with the one I love. Life is good 🥰

Possibly the greatest local news story Im going to see this year, and it’s only March

Just the essentials for a girls night in

All the best films start with this;

I would like to be Cate Blanchett when I grow up or, at the very least, have her wardrobe from Black Bag

Collab with @mygumsarebleeding.bsky.social!

About to absolutely annihilate an entire box of Moomin biscuits

The TOTP sound engineer every time she said "pissing" #TOTP

Oh christ not a bad Bowie impersonation Mark Owen, please no #TOTP

In the absence of any decent music thus far in this week's #TOTP, I am instead focusing on the awkward dancing in the audience

Upholstered chair, a cushion and four layers of soft blanket. Who does she think she is, the princess and the pea?!

Sitting in the warm sunshine, birds singing, daffodils everywhere, sun on my face. Fucking hell I'd forgotten how good this feels

On the crest of an old bank safe. I don't know about you but using a hammer and anvil when you and your pal are both completely starkers seems a little risky

Can’t help but wonder how old I’ll be by the next time Wales win a rugby game. The things I’ll have achieved, the people I’ll have met, the life I’ll be living

She is beauty, she is grace

Right, that's enough of that. I'm off to finish #Adolescence now

In a presumably total coincidence, "Romeo + Juliet" is on BBC One tonight at 22:40 #totp

tbh I'll forgive Robyn just about anything solely for giving the world Dancing On My Own #TOTP

Yesterday, I had no knowledge of this godawful cover version. Oh the irony #TOTP

I think we've pinpointed, to the week, when #TOTP died. I mean, what the fuck was that

When you were promised Dreamies but then you were imprisoned, taken to the vet and a strange lady squeezed your anal glands 🥹

Screaming, Crying,Throwing up 😩 Anyone got any bright ideas on how to disguise this ugly clusterfuck a bit? And no, it can't be moved somewhere else. Stuck between a radiator and a doorway

Leg periscope 😂

"Wow. That's beautiful! Everything's computer!"

There's an Asda on that tanker?? Am I being stupid? I know I am. Someone help me decipher this

I met proper Edinburgh royalty today. Mandy came into the shop and we had a chat. She didn't like our DVDs but she did ask me my name and told me she was happy #IYKYK

Possibly the most boring question ever but, can any of you recommend a weather app that actually *sometimes* gets it right? I've got the BBC one and it's utterly useless

🎶I always feel like, somebody's watching me🎶

Always fun watching Wales get pumped by Scotland 😩

I've just made 18 veggie samosas if anyone's hungry

Men, everywhere, on #iwd

I dunno I'm a mostly domestic woman these days, I'm not even sure where my passport is. Do I still get balloons and whatnot?

Eternal feat. Bebe Wynans 🫠 #TOTP

Still no Mini Dippy Whippy Eggs at M&S 🥹 but they do have this beast...

Eating copious quantities of banana bread over here like it's March 2020

Honestly can't contain my excitement at how the future of global stability, peace and economic prosperity is looking right now thanks to the DicTator Tot

- Girl, don't do it, it's not worth it. - I'm not gonna do it girl, I was just thinking about it, I'm not gonna do it... - I did it

Really wouldn't blame Victoria Derbyshire if she just ended the call with this ludicrous MAGA shitlord, but she's too much of a pro. Fuck off Fred #Newsnight

Haircut tomorrow and I'm sooooo tempted to ask for a fringe but I've not had one since I was about 8 and I'm scared I'll instantly regret it 😂😬😬

"can I have tuna in my pancakes please?"

Packs of filled tortellini always say half a pack is one portion. This is madness, right? That's like 5 pieces of pasta. Does anyone actually stick to that guideline?!?

Just catching up on last night's #TOTP. No-one says totty anymore do they 🥲

I love my neighborhood, it's a truly wonderful place to live, but walking through it on the weekend makes me want to throat punch people 😂

Morning roll Smoked back bacon from the butchers Homemade tattie scone Broon sauce 🤤