Family member at Thanksgiving: “Trump isn’t like other presidents. When he sees a problem he fixes it.” Me:

Well, time now to get drunk and play Arc Raiders.

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen: Godspeed You! Black Emperor Sigur Ros Hans Zimmer Alt-J Fat Boy Slim

…i should call him 🥺

He is risen

It just hit me that based upon the ending of Predator: Badlands if we get a Yautja Queen in the next one would that make her a Disney Princess?

It’s 8:51am on Thanksgiving, of course I’ve already had a shot of vodka.

I have a feeling it is going to be a 3 fiber gummies sort of day.

I get to bust out this old meme once more:

You've just died. The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.

Slab of Macaroni and cheese

No. The Thing is a movie about a bunch of people who all distrust and hate each other trapped in one building as the tension between them slowly builds until it reaches a breaking point. It's a Thanksgiving movie.

Only a few of you know what I actually do for work, but you all will know when the chickens finally take me out as revenge for the millions of their kind I’ve seen killed and cooked.

A glory hole just for shoving steaming rotisserie chickens through.

You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you? I'm so fucked.

I know it is just still images and I really don’t care: But the Legend of Zelda movie looks like it is going to be mid as fuck.

In all groups of 4 colleagues there is: 1. The dad and/ or mom 2. The analytical one 3. The over worked ready to murder everyone one 4. The shitshow Guess which one I am? If you said “the shitshow” you’d be correct.

Introduce yourself with four spaceships

Someone was dissing eating camel because they said it “looks nasty.” Y’all don’t get just how fucking good slow cooked camel is!

I’m a gold medal champion in making myself super sad.

Man has no clue what war he is fighting.

Damn! This is taking all the S-tier weirdos. God damn.

The Second Renaissance

Shit, y’all, I’m hooked.

This week out here being the final boss for my grieving ass.

I’ve just witnessed the greatest exchange of all time:

🐨

Without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?

He has the meats!

So for my cheat should it be: 1. pizza? 2. Pizza. 3. PIZZA!

That Yeesha/Desert Bird shirt…mmm. Totally getting that.

I'll just leave these here

This is half a joke. I legitimately have an outline that is more expansive and wild because no one can top Joe Dante's zaniness.

Maybe I should focus my energy on my legacy sequel spec script for Innerspace. Brainbound: Innerspace 2

I’m pretty much expecting anyone and everyone to possibly be in the Epstein files, but the one that would make question reality is Alex Trebek.

“What if you favorite celebrity is in the Epstein files-“ If Hunter S Thompson had gone he would’ve written the most INSANE book exposing the whole thing.

“I hope this email finds you well-“ *prolonged eldritch guttural growls while the desk shifts into an ever changing prisms of lard light and the floor is becoming a viewing glass for hell dimensions*

Some wish to die on the battlefield. I wish to die on an exploding toilet after eating Giga Thai Hot Evil Jungle Prince Curry from a joint called A Taste of Thai III.

All work and no play makes me want to go back to the dry storage and kick a 35 thing of canola oil and cry.

My homies are all from the Hollow Earth. You best not make fun of me or else your gonna feel the wrath of my Anunnaki allies!

On this our Spaceship Earth, the opossums are the janitors and the bats are the captains.

Jesus, what if a shart went off like a shotgun blast?

Thomas the Tank Engine is full of meat and organs but I can’t prove it.

A rotisserie chicken going Mach 8, mother fucker.

batman reading this post and crumpling the paper and the camera pans up to a map of the city. she is going to kill again