“I wish someone would swaddle me” – Dr. Robby – Callie

Dream blunt rotation

This counts as another Eagles win over the Patriots fyi

It’s a “come home from work then take a nap, wake up around 8 & see if I want to stay up but I’ll probably just go back to bed” kind of day. I’ll pretend it’s cause I was sick last week & I’m still recovering but between you & me, that’s a lie.

Happy “change the fan direction & might as well dust while you’re up there” day

Watching Carlos Boozer’s kids play a team coached by Gerry McNamara & not feeling any kind of way about it!

I am once again reminding players that the ball only has to leave your hands by 0.0, you do not have to make the shot by 0.0

I just changed my desk to standing height so I’m now the work version of this meme

Incredible deposition. Terrible attorney.

Anyone else go to play WORDLE but accidentally just type your starting word into the search bar? Bet the NSA is wondering why I’m searching MEATS at least 3x/month.

Congrats to Bama fans for getting to make another trip to Tampa!

Hell yeah brother

For anyone unfamiliar with Tucker's delivery, here's his rant about the M&Ms not being sexy enough from a few years back

Why is GrubHub making me provide a security code to my driver on no-contact delivery? Just let go & let god, GrubHub

Trump's aides explaining to him that he basically just put Eric in charge of Iran and immediately calls off the whole operation

Being Nick Pringle should be a flagrant foul.

I just dropped Dahlia off for a grooming appt & I was gonna use that time to clean the house. But I’m calling an audible & using that time to nap. Clean homes are overrated.

I love basketball & anyone who tells you otherwise is lying

Idk I don’t even like basketball. Basketball is for fools.

I did not need that Huggies commercial to do a demonstration with chocolate syrup

Love how every time iPhone updates I have to unpair& pair my watch again to track my peloton workouts 🫠

It’s the least shocking discovery that BP doesn’t actually know our history in Iran

One of my favorite books is about the Hungarian Revolution in 1956. I re-read it about once a year for this quote: “When a man has given proof in blood that he loves freedom, how many further tests must he pass before he is deemed worthy of entry into America?” -James Michener, The Bridge at Andau

there are a lot of people working in the government right now who want to intentionally trigger an apocalypse to create the conditions for the return of jesus christ and I know how crazy that sounds but its absolutely true

the former host of celebrity apprentice and the former host of fox & friends weekend are launching bombs and destabilizing the world for generations all because voters decided their biggest issue was a trans kid playing jv tennis with their friends 4 states over

The Pitt quote of the week: “what’s the point of New Jersey?”

Stu Macher did not disappoint

It’s not that I want another shut down, it’s that I just want it to again be acceptable to never leave my house

I think partying with Flavor Flav in Vegas should be the default alternate celebration for anyone who doesn’t want to shake DJT’s gross hands

My workout buddy telling me she’s gonna miss tonight’s workout is the exact permission I need to also skip tonight’s workout

I hadn’t even heard of Punch the monkey before watching last night’s Daily Show but I’m in full agreement with my lord & savior Jon Stewart. Something’s wrong with that monkey.

My car is snowed in but the roads are clear. Desperately fighting the urge to order GrubHub

I’m so tired of yelling into the void. They see the hypocrisy. They know what they’re doing. They simply don’t care.

Yes. Contact your senator. But we are not limited to only our senators. FLOOD THE WHOLE DAMN BUNCH. And especially that prick Fetterman who needs to be taken down. NOW.

He’s raising money for a new zero-turn that will allow him to continue helping those in need. If you’re willing & able, a small donation would go a long way! gofund.me/62521022f

Hi friends! My dad mows lawns for people who are unable to do so on their own. Unfortunately his zero-turn mower is too wide to fit through most gates so he has to use a push mower, & at 83 in Alabama summers, that’s getting pretty difficult.

Hi friends! My dad mows lawns for people who are unable to do so on their own. Unfortunately his zero-turn mower is too wide to fit through most gates so he has to use a push mower, & at 83 in Alabama summers, that’s getting pretty difficult.

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

Lane Kiffin shows up and LSU WBB suffers their first loss of the season and then his former team beats Georgia in the Playoff without him?

Bro what

Saw Diane Keaton in a Rubio’s in Del Mar, CA

Getting sick on Christmas vacation

Trans rights is a winning platform. Pro immigration is a winning platform. Taxing the rich is a winning platform. Affordable housing is a winning platform. Free childcare is a winning platform. Hating Andrew Cuomo is a winning platform. SOCIALISM IS A WINNING PLATFORM

Man oh man. Highly recommend voting in a swing county in a swing state. 10/10 would recommend

I got “suspended” from “Twitter” for suggesting we drink a cleaning agent instead of asking for Brad Law’s opinion. So that’s fun.

Is WaPo really posting about the infighting between 2 far-right movements in the GOP right now? Is that really what they’re calling journalism?

Being an Auburn fan feels like being a Democrat. We just have to accept what we’re given because what else are we gonna do? Vote for Trump? Cheer for Bama?