but i’m a crepe i’m a weird dough what the challah am i doing here i don’t boulanger

My wife is shopping at Hobby Lobby. I sent her this picture and asked her to see if they have one of these.

Malwarebytes is going to lose a customer if they don't stop alerting me to "issues" that are just premium features I've not signed up for. "Cry wolf" security software may as well not be security software at all.

Free range just indicates they're not charging you to evaluate how good or bad this burger could have been.

People keep saying Trump is the worst president in US history. C'mon now ... surely he's the worst president in numerous countries' histories by this point, no?

I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN

Heard a loud rustling outside my window today. It was a cat catching a bird. On the roof, there was another bird trying to figure out what to do. So I went outside and tried to get the cat to drop the bird it had. It just ran off, bird in mouth. I get nature, but that was brutal to watch. 😞

I love on the border of Fresno and Clovis. But my location is a degree cooler than either.

Allowing redistricting without votes, and denying redistricting despite having earned the votes. The Supreme Court is now the White Supremacist Court. www.nbcnews.com/politics/sup...

Damnit Google. Mark didn't do shit! Eric completed!! 🤣

Soooo ... we going to war with China now? Xi told Trump it could happen if Taiwan is handled poorly. What other way has Trump handled anything? Will anything wake up the GOP members of Congress?

Her defense, probably: How was I supposed to credibly write about grief without losing someone first?

I regret to inform you that the president is posting weird AI slop again

I still crack up once in a while remembering there was a character in the old Sierra game "Freddie Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist" named Helena Handbasket, and you had to go to her for things.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd think the GOP would fear a medicine that was anti-parasitic. I guess they really are that self-unaware.

#BREAKINGNEWS: 👇 Most of the human race now believes that Donald Trump is a pedophile who raped little girls and boys and is hiding the evidence in the #EpsteinFiles… Pass. It. On. 😎✨

The NRA buys off Congress. No action on guns. The oil industry buys off Congress. No action on climate. Insurance companies buy off Congress. No action on health care. The list goes on and on. Money in politics is the root of our dysfunction.

"C'mon. It's not like Trump killed more people than Charles Manson." Except yes it is. It is exactly like that. By a factor of thousands. Note: Article is from 2022.

The $250M ballroom is now topping $1B. My guess: $100M to build, $900M in the pockets of Trump family and their allies.

I've been watching math videos by Susanne Scherer for years. They are like mathematical ASMR. Today, YouTube offered me a video by a band called MoonSun featuring a singer by that name, and it's her! Here's a math video. You're like "Math? Soothing?" Yes! Prove me wrong! 1/2 youtu.be/7emjyszahnY

I'm going to apologize up front for this, @luminescentphoto.com , but I couldn't get past the cameraman being called "O'Dell" in this SNL skit. Forgive me, but I could not resist sharing (once I dried my eyes from laughing to tears).

The SS Ding Dong???

Every single day, one 2FA code from Apple, two 2-second voicemails immediately following. I've changed my Apple PW a few times before realizing they don't have it. Apple does its 2FA check before that. So they've got my email and a PW from who-knows-when. But damn if they're not persistent!

One time, in the COVID days, I ordered a burrito over DoorDash. The dasher didn't ring the doorbell, and I missed the phone notification, so I was maybe 4 minutes late getting to it. The neighborhood crows had their way with it. I started feeding them peanuts and they ended up becoming my friends.

I have no idea where this coffee place is or how its coffee tastes, but it's my favorite coffee place, now, too!

Same person will go to McDonald's for a burger, as if that's a real burger.

This wonderful, incredibly smart woman. 🏆❤️

Did you think the Correspondents Dinner shooting was staged? Because the press secretary literally quipped that there would be "shots fired" before it, and now they're using it to derail the case against Trump's "bullet proof" ballroom. This is three fake assassination attempts. 1/2

Wendy's math on DoorDash is not mathing. It's late. I'm not ready to drive. I'll pay the exorbitant price for junk food. But not this! How does: $9.61 $4.61 +$0.63 Add up to: $18.21 Instead of: $14.85 I did it over and over. But it was correct on the "review" screen, so I went ahead.

My one and only long-lost friend. We lost touch so long ago. He said something about needing his space.

I got a ballpoint pen from with a candy shipment. It dragged across the page without a hint of a line. As I tried to get it to write, I thought I broke the ball out. Instead, I found out it's a tiny little "cap", which I suspect protects the ball from drying out until its first use.

"Someone left the cake out in the rain I don't think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I'll never have that reci... Wait. What's this? Where'd you find the recipe?" "On the counter by the mixing bowl, where you left it." "No way! I checked there! I looked! It wasn't there!"

How I BlueSky: • read a few posts • get pissed about the news • write a few angry political/societal replies • post a few jokes or memes • compliment other people's posts • disappear for four days and forget to interact with replies to my posts/replies The joys of impermanence and time blindness. 🤣

There is only ONE PERSON who can get BlueSky working again, and you know it!

My job is like ADHD. Not like a person with ADHD; that would be me. I'm talking "Quick! Do this thing!" So I start, and then, "I have to pull you off that task for this one!" And I put away the first thing for the second. Then, "Hey, Eric, we need you in this meeting. Third layer deep. 1/2

Why did it take GoDaddy* 30 seconds to charge my bank account for my "free" email inboxes but 5 business days to refund it? * today it's GoDaddy ... tomorrow it could be any other company which sneakily overcharges and then has to refund when caught

What ever happened to all the children trafficked by Betsy DeVos? Heck, what ever happened to Betsy DeVos? The US has gotten so awful, we can't even keep track of older crimes against humanity!

In his first 100 days, Zohran Mamdani has: -Delivered millions in restitution for workers cheated by gig companies -Cracked down on predatory landlords -Launched the first stage of a universal childcare program -Fixed thousands of potholes in NYC streets This is what leadership looks like.

So it turns out this administration has achieved some progress. For generations, a question has been unanswered. It was such an enigma that it became a joke when things went awry. Trump has answered this great mystery: What would it actually take to piss off the Pope? people.com/pope-leo-may...

Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only.

I remember watching an SNL news skit about Idi Amin where he pulled out cheese with holes and started eating it. The news anchor made some comment about the cheese, and Amin said it wasn't cheese but his brain instead. We laughed over an insane world leader. Now we have one. Few are laughing now.

A few postcards my office has received in the last few weeks. Even during our darkest moments, Minnesotans choose love as their guiding light. 💙

Oh, this is definitely, unquestionably, verifiably legit. 😉 I mean, Da Vinci only sleeps 90 minutes a day. He's got loads of awake time to doomscroll.

When I was a kid, I thought the line in "Crocodile Rock" was "had a four carb Chevy and a place of my own". The lyrics are "old gold", not "four carb". Here's the rub: I knew nothing about cars, so how did I come to "four carb"? I figured later that it meant four-barrel carburetor. Mandela effect?

The only thing solidified today is how hollow TACO's threats are. (See? A solid/hollow joke right after Easter! Enjoy your chocolate bunnies ... even more so if they're solid!)

Has any single astronaut ever snubbed a sitting president before? How about an entire crew? youtu.be/jmmuJ64bnBE

Johnny Cash anyone? Let it be known ... I have no idea what to do with myself during karaoke, and it shows! 🤣

Anyone with the power to stop what Trump is threatening to do is equally guilty of the crime if they don't stop it. This is still true even if Trump chickens out, because they don't know that will be the case. And they're looking really fucking guilty right now with 23 minutes on the clock.