Idea: A GoFundMe, limit $1000. But it's given to the first reporter who calls out his bullshit on air. Once given, repeat. Any previous winner is ineligible to win again for one month.

I'm at the point where I'm not sure if a military coup would be good or bad.

So now that all the info is out, repeatedly, about the escalator and teleprompter and who f'd those up, they're just not talking about it? I'm getting dizzy.

If you know, you know.

Verizon used to use "security updates" to shove bullshit apps onto my phone right away. Now, they wait a couple of days after the "update" to do it. Bingo Blitz, Fishdom, Number Match, and Spades showed up uninvited this morning.

Subtly downgrade a band Princess

Subtly downgrade a band Matchbook 17

Ya know those "dinner invites" you get about retirement planning and the like? Got one today from a mortuary. It's also a crematorium. I hope they're serving barbecue.

At this point I'm thinking actual Nazis don't want to be associated with the imbeciles we're calling Nazis.

Maybe no one can tell us what the Hegseth summoning top generals to a meeting is about, but I can bet there will be an open bar.

so to recap, Fox News has: • embraced being Nazis • promoted killing homeless people • suggested bombing the UN but you know, those pesky late night TV hosts and Black reporters who quote dead podcasters verbatim

Now...imagine you're a UN interpreter trying to translate his stream-of-ludicrousness into...well...any human language.

Share your favorite black and white movies

Happy Gotcha Day, little girl.

So they've already moved the goal posts and said that the Rapture is "this week" and not necessarily yesterday. If (when) it doesn't happen, are they going to face up to other cons they've bought into?

Click-bait: Is coffee good for you? My answer: I know it's good for people around me.

"Everyone says" = "no one says"

“Fuck you, make me” - our new rally cry 🔥

I was gonna say I hope the Rapture doesn't happen while I'm driving to Camino this morning, but if it's only "good Christians" who get plucked up I imagine El Dorado County won't lose... well... anyone.

That's it...I'm gonna blame Acetaminophen for everything. Low mileage. Back pain. Uneven tire wear. Exhaustion.

I bet the lawyers at McNeil Consumer Healthcare are having champagne today.

About this Rapture.... If they're not raptured, are they gonna kill themselves so that anyone finding them thinks they were? Is there a time everyone's expected to depart? Is it UTC or is it local?

The biggest tease of all time is Raiders of the Lost Ark making me wish for a death ray that instantly turns all nearby Nazis into liquid fire

Images from the Herr Kirk vigil and fundraiser...

What movie do you consider “perfect”?

Niners didn't win so much as they managed to not lose.

What movie do you consider “perfect”?

Note: Autumn officially starts in the Northern Hemisphere 22 September at 18:19 UTC (11:19 PDT for reference).

In honor of Stephen King's birthday, what are your top 3 Stephen King movies? 1. Stand By Me 2. Shawshank Redemption 3. The Green Mile

Million dollar idea: a dating app that asks pointed questions and then just loses the accounts of MAGAdiots and, wait for it, when they can't login, "We've sent a confirmation code, please submit $1 to prove you're the account holder and human."

I still can't figure out how the bitchiest little man became their "strong leader"

Why do we allow the abduction and violence toward innocent people to continue? Where are our Dem leaders, the judicial system, business leaders, sports stars and celebrities? Something is horribly wrong with this country if they’re all just sitting on their hands waiting for some other shoe to drop.

"Enough of these fat angel babies. Where is the wing with the poker playing dogs?" -Me... And why my first dates at museums never work out.

Many media outlets hid the full truth of Trump -- his background in organized crime, his Epstein ties -- out of fear, only to be obliterated by him in the end. Had they not self-censored then, they might not be state-censored now. When you hide the truth, you face the consequences.

So how many things mocking Mango Mussolini have to be posted for the Toddler In Chief to executive order away Section 230 so he can sue Facebook and BlueSky into capitulation? Let's see.

Fantastic, but they really should've had a nasty bruise with bad concealer over it.

The Plumber: Jason Statham is a plumber and former CIA assassin The Pharmacist: Jason Statham is a pharmacist and ex-mob hitman in witness protection The Greeter: Jason Statham is a Wal-Mart greeter who is a Russian sleeper agent The Banana: Jason Statham is a banana and retired martial arts master

Remember: If someone has glasses with a camera in them, it's not illegal, it's just immoral. Similarly: If you smack the same glasses off their head, it's not immoral, but it is illegal.

I just got a reminder that it's been 12 years since my last cigarette. I'm down to only thinking about it 5 or 6 times an hour.

Weird that Erika Kirk was elected as CEO of Turning Point when I didn't think they supported a woman's right to work. Or vote. Or make choices about...anything.

If you are shocked by the reports that LiveNation and Ticketmaster were working with ticket brokers to exploit fans, I've got some bad news about the Tooth Fairy and Santa.

I wonder if ABC News is going to cover their own capitulation to authoritarianism.

Hey, look at that: I just saved money by not giving Disney money every month.

Fallon and Colbert ought to immediately invite Kimmel on.

Spreading the lords words Pumpkin spice has no pumpkin just like egg plant has no egg you twats Now go fuck some shit up and follow the money or just roll the fuck over (clears throat) Go in peace and amend

Dear @lightroom.adobe.com , just because you've always been the ugly step-child to @photoshop.adobe.com doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to prove it.

Did everyone get their Antifa checks from Soros this month? I usually have mine by the 15th but haven't received it yet.