Whenever I see "cyber monday" it just makes me think of cybersex for some reason.

Hmm. Trump likes using the National Guard shooting as propaganda, yet he didn't put flags at half-staff...that must only be reserved for podcasters.

we have to go back. to warn them.

Now we arrest people for...chalk.

ACAB, but I still think it sucks that Robocop died on the job and they brought him back to force him to go to work.

Fuckin rocking out

Usually I am not a hater if people like media I think sucks. There is one group of fans that always take it as extremely personal when I say I don't like their thing: Fallout 3 fans. So from now on I'm just going to preemptively tell em they are dogshit.

TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence! Real conspiracies: To: conspirator From: famous person Attachment: evidence.png

Whenever people try to talk to me about "crypto" I'm like, "fuck yeah I love mothman and the Jersey Devil!"

I hate our gerontocracy so much. Schumer has got to go. This out of touch old man refuses to get a smartphone, even as people keep trying to hand him one.

Just imagining the meeting where they must have been like “they might cancel my flight? Time to kill the sick.”

You should call Chuck Schumer right now and say “I’m sorry this is happening to you sir I wish you a heads up penny”

It is weird that conservatives call themselves "the silent majority" yet they never shut the fuck up.

City of Sickos

To say that the majority of Trek fans are right wing and that women don’t *really* like it is something that only a real trek fan would know that only a fake Trek fan would say

Twitter really is the worst place.

Mark Zuckerberg is terrible as far as heads of social media platform go. Elon Musk is a bit worse. And yet somehow TikTok had them hold their beer and will likely have Barron Trump in charge.

Wow Ranger, you go back in time to help free one enslaved family? You could have brought an AK-47 to John Brown at least.

there’s something so beautifully American about our democracy’s last line of defense being coronary artery disease

The absolute genius of Pee Wee’s Playhouse to have us “scream real loud” at the word of the day on Saturday mornings while our parents were trying to sleep in, has yet to find comparable fuckery.

Gavin Newsom would take a puppy from an orphan, rip the puppy apart with his bare hands and eat it while the orphan screamed if he thought it would win him one vote in Wisconsin.

I feel sorry for kids if the future. They will never know what it is like to be off for election day.

People are losing it over some documents that were released. Oh man, a rich guy had dinner with another rich guy? Surprise! Let me know when there is something in them that actually could be actionable.

The dream of Germany in the 1930s is alive in Portland 🎶

Your momma's so old her library card number is 1.

I'd tell everybody go enjoy their rapture tomorrow but nobody on this site is going anywhere.

You think I keep a jar of acetaminophen in my desk drawer for fun? To alleviate pain because I'm old? No, it is to power my autism so I can continue to do my fucking job. That is why I eat those pills like candy!

Since laws changed in the 2000s to make it easier on microbreweries, the craze that has come is the perfect encapsulation of America. It's has given us 100 versions of the same thing, some with slight variations, many of which aren't good, and most of which were rushed to market to maximize profit.

It is really tedious blocking Charlie Kirk these days. So many people are claiming to be him. They can't all be him, but I also can't take any chances.

Only 58 democrats voted against having a national Charlie Kirk remembrance day, yet people keep telling me they are the opposition and we must unite behind them.

The "fuck your feelings" crowd is really having some feelings about stuff right now.

A free and democratic society cannot silence comedians because the President doesn’t like what they say. This is an attack on free speech and cannot be allowed to stand. All elected officials need to speak up and push back on this undemocratic act.

On one hand I dislike Jimmy Kimmel. Otoh I hate fascism, so...

come on this is too far

In ABC's defense, Jimmy Kimmel should have said something much less offensive during his monologue, such as advocating that we kill homeless people.

I won't be buying any future @bethesda.net games because they deleted their Indiana Jones post instead of just clarifying that it is about a video game and a mobie character who hates fascists. Also they make terrible games.

I need to see more posts from y'all mourning Robert Redford or employers are going to be contacted.

NINTENDO FACT! When you touch an Amiibo to a Nintendo 3DS, WiiU, or Switch system, enough electricity passes through the figure to give it 14 milliseconds of conscious life! Too quick to scream, this fleeting moment gives them joy of life before returning them to a hellish existence in purgatory!

Me, to my dog just now as I put a chicken in the oven but he keeps getting under my feet: *SOAD vocals* I'm trying to cook a chicken! I'm trying to cook a chicken! I'm trying to cook a chicken...for you and me!

I don't want to be a bummer, but nobody gets their 100 Nazi scalps in Inglorious Basterds. Tarantino is such a hack.

Chance of being accurate: 99.9%

If you plan on celebrating 9/11 today don’t forget that this JUST happened

Some people seem to miss Charlie Kirk But at least one person didn't.