A long time ago, I lobbied to replace the verb “canoodle” with “kunkle.” I am hereby resuming that effort.

It’s been a few months since I wrote about how bad Kash Patel was at being FBI director, so let’s check in over at the FBI, shall we? Wait ... what's that now? www.doomsdayscenario.co/p/the-nation...

Former LULAC president, Dallas City Council member, and state representative Domingo Garcia got a letter last week informing him his voter registration was canceled because he's dead. He is very much alive. www.dmagazine.com/micropost/do...

Probably one of the most badass pics ever taken

Tim Howard has Alien head but I still love him

Fake Dallas City Hall in Texarkana

Dig it. Free read that’s worth $75.21 www.dmagazine.com/arts-enterta...

I ate red sauce pasta tonight while wearing a $100 Merz b white tshirt. There are many reasons to hate me. This is one of them.

This story is generating LOADS of traffic www.dmagazine.com/food-drink/2...

Hanging on a cross, Jesus said to a criminal hanging next to him: “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Jesus: weak on crime

Is that Forrest Gump on the right side of the frame?

Big “we did it” energy from two losers who absolutely did not do it.

Rory walks like a draft horse

Why are Rory’s nipples in a constant state of excitement?

Madman theory? Nope. Now he’s going drunk, dumb, senile madman theory

I converted to Catholicism last week. Here’s why it’s necessary for the United States to invade Vatican City and install its own pope.

Fuck Twitter. I bet even the Pope prays for Twitter's death.

Serious question: is it immoral to pray for Trump's death?

You know what's pretty cool? Hearing an astronaut talk with mission control in Houston as a spaceship shoots around the dark side of the Moon. And both voices are those of women.

An anti-pope based in Texas is the only result from this broadly terrible decade in politics that would make me laugh.

Proof that using AI—even just for 15 minutes—turns you into a twat: ai-project-website.github.io/AI-assistanc...

America’s favorite sport: saying the right thing and hoping no one checks the scoreboard.

Important journalism here. Must read. www.dmagazine.com/publications...

So strange that we are doing mind-bending, historic stuff w astronauts and it’s just PART of the news, not THE news. Because Trump is such a megalomaniac, warmongering twat baby whose every breath seems to be drawn from our attention. Let him suffocate.

The right-wing Dallas Express published anonymously sourced allegations about a juvenile son of a Democratic lawmaker. The article was published under a fake name and republished on Yahoo News. Journalism professors said it violated basic journalism ethics. www.texasobserver.org/dallas-expre...

Feels like Jesus would never have joined the Air Force. newrepublic.com/post/208668/...

Happy Easter

Farther

Dallas responds to a lawsuit alleging it undercounted revenue to sidestep Prop U’s police funding requirements. It says the case shouldn’t stand.

Joe White is the CEO of Kamp Kanakuk and, until last week, was also running K-2, the Christian summer camp’s program for middle and high schoolers. He stepped down, but not before calling extensive reports about the hundreds of child sex abuse allegations at his camp "fallacious attacks."

If you gave him a magic feather, he could use those ears to fly

Centered ON

This is America

Civil rights leader Ernest McMillan, who grew up in a family dedicated to civil rights in Dallas, has died. www.dmagazine.com/micropost/er...

Purdue has the best beard game in the tournament

Why was everyone living in a parking lot back then? Trapper John was doing the same gig, except in a hospital.

Toonces or Tiger? Who is the better wheelman?

There are career stuntmen who have flipped fewer cars than Tiger Woods.

Our mayor would never, part 412.

No fun at all www.dmagazine.com/micropost/pr...

Why is everyone writing about SMU's crosswalks again when I settled that in January? www.dmagazine.com/micropost/un...

Presumably these troops are being sent so they can celebrate the not-war that Trump says we’ve won

Is it money? Or is it because feeding people satisfies his deep-seated urge to nurture people in a way that enables them to become the best version of themselves? No, I bet it’s money.

Imagine working and not getting paid and they pay people to hang out watching you do it.

Remember what happened w tobacco when everyone learned what the big companies were actually doing? Replace cigarettes w social media. Et voila!

You saw something cute or wild or awesome on Insta. Cool! You don’t need to send me the video. There are loads of videos on the internet. They’re amazing! But if it’s not one of me that I didn’t realize had been posted (because I was puking at the airport?), then I don’t care much to watch it.

Spurs play today.