England cricket, you have fucked yourselves over with your treatment of Ben Stokes. You should be ashamed, you’ve let another maverick slip through your fingers.

Happy 100th Mel Brooks, what a fabulous man. His autobiography is an absolute scream, a life he continues to live well.

Chris Mason on news watch being ‘offended’ at the suggestion he has been revelling in everything going on politically makes me chuckle. Own it mate.

He shouted at me at the other place so I hope he doesn’t name search but Elvis Costello was so disappointing tonight. Off key, behind the band. There were some great bits and there were ovations but, hmm. No.

Well this is a delightful thing on my patio. A Harlequin flower, proving the squirrel didn’t quite eat ALL of the hundred or so bulbs I planted.

Telly weather is showing storms passed over Pompey last night. No they bloody didn’t, you lying bastards. My lightning tracker stayed sadly quiet.

Garden scenes earlier. The left hand one is now on my lap. I’m putting up with it because (a) her time is nearly nigh, bless her and (b) there’s a fan pointing straight at me, which it has been since 8am.

I never watch Jools but tonight I did. I make good, no, GREAT decisions. This was fucking mental but brilliant.

I’ve just watched Jools for the first time in forever and who the fuck are Angine de poitrine? I think I’m in love. Noseybonk in polka dots, just genius.

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO #thefootball

I’ve spent today removing paint from my front door and I tell you, if I ever meet any TikTok home restorers, I won’t kill them because I’m in too much pain. But I hate them, I really hate them.

It’s happy #caturday and happy birthday to Dennis and Lois, who are 15 today. No special birthday treats because Lois (and therefore Dennis) has been living on tuna for the last few weeks anyway, poorly girl. Everyday is treat day when you are a cat.

Trying to watch football in bed but ITVX. Reset three times, now listening on the radio. Fuck ITV, so shite.

This is... I mean, just read it. Whether you like football or not.

Cardiff Foodbank’s warehouse in Splott, where I live, is almost empty & they’ve put out an emergency appeal. Donate ££: givetoday.co.uk/cardifffoodb... Donate food by dropping it off: cardiff.foodbank.org.uk/support-us/d... Please share! Read more 👇

I love this. Unmute.

What a shit pen.

It starts today!!!

Just been to a public lecture at Uni of Portsmouth, the brilliant Lincoln Geraghty on fan cultures in the city. I learnt about Dr Who filming sites as well as the importance of fandom and space. These lectures are free and fascinating.

Perfect photo, no notes.

My cousins may support the wrong football team but they are god-tier humans, if ever proof was needed we can all make fundamental mistakes #myfavescummers

Off to my scummer cousin’s wedding today. Keeping it subtle - have given him, in the card, instructions on how to build your own periscope. Wish me luck!

it costs us over £600 a month to have our 3yr old in nursery full time and that’s after the free working parent hours and tax free childcare but yeah it’s probably the phones

Which Brian Cox? Could be a game changer.

Misinformation is everywhere. Listening to Hannah Spencer you realise how cynical & targeted it is. Confirmation bias of all who oppose her leads to most believing fake news without even an attempt of double-checking the 'info' they read. All it takes is a screenshot of her shirt & a reverse search.

Staying in a Norfolk hotel, The Pheasant near Holt. Lovely touch in the bar, for those who forget their reading specs.

Nice thing to see on my way home.

Best costuming of the night @noiseupstairs.bsky.social from Ian @noiseresearch.bsky.social in FuelCafe, Manchester. T-shirt of the Tricorn building, #Portsmouth, by graphic artist and much more @gailmyerscough.co.uk

I hope Nina Conti leaves that creepy fucking puppet at home #taskmaster

We used to call them ‘race riots’ now we call them ‘anti-immigration protests’.

Friend sent this music deep cut over. Too funny not to share! 😂

We’ve made 100! (Barely) #thecricket

LET WOMEN HAVE HOBBIES

Did Portsmouth write this?

The most amazing thing you’ll see today I guarantee is this frame-by-frame animated remake of “Sabotage”. youtu.be/lgXSDPmOWCE?...

Oh I do like a long lunch on a Saturday. I also like turning down the invite to carry on and instead come home. I’m not old, I’m experienced.

Heartbreaking and devastatingly, beautifully written. Great piece of journalism that sadly won’t change a thing.

I was born.

I set out early last Thursday for the Lidl version of the Dyson fan - fruitless bar getting the desktop version for £40. It is on a stool by my side and I’ve rarely spent that money more wisely. It’s like face air con.

Very happy with this. They were so classy when Pompey won promotion there , I wish nothing but good things to this club.

Something I’ve remembered from Super Furry Animals last night. During Hello Sunshine, there was a pause, the audience went mental, but so did the band. It was like a shared ‘look at THIS! THIS IS AMAZING’ it went on ages and was the purest joy I think I’ve ever had.

Already ordering the popcorn for the scum/boro matches next season, I’m sure the games will be played with style and grace.

Ahh Super Furry Animals, you are still completely joyous and Brixton is still a brilliant venue.

I’m working from home today so of course I’m wide awake more than an hour early. Ffs.

Aberdeen FC. Bravo. 👏

Poor the scummers.

A quick trip back to the other place - worth seeing Pompey Pedro, who has kept all the receipts; and these beauties. What a night!

The decision to kick Southampton out of the play off final came as no shock as two members of their staff were recording the EPL hearing in a room next door.

What a marvellous day to be a Pompey fan!

Should add, I would be gutted if Mous goes. But don’t be sad it is over, be glad it happened.