I have 1 phone - Kevin Gate

Oomf shared literally the worst poem I’ve ever read on ig stories

Starting to understand why so many of my sisters take their death into their own hands

if my coworker who’s gay & cute left a sticky note on the door complimenting a dress i wore last week does that mean i officially have a work wife?

It happened to me: one of the first ever “cis men” to flirt with me much earlier in my transition came out as a girl

Decided to take a few minutes to save myself a few hours. No more sitting in the car holding up orders so that I can write out the same text 30 times a day.

Will Chloe move to The Bay Area by 2030 place ur bets now & lock them in!!!!!!!!

Yknow, hate to hand it to him, but I think it’s kinda fab that the richest & maybe the most evil man in the world is a ketamine addict. Imaging Musk just kundled DOWN in the back of a waymo is sooo funny to me

Most unserious part of the bay area is when people will say “we’re gonna get some real heat today!” and the heat in question is 73 & sunny with a gentle breeze

Oomf changed his DJ name from something reallllly cool to something reallllly boring

Everyone organizing trans relocation events in PDX had better be giving 100% of their funds raised to QTBIPOC no shade

Last night at & after the club i was feeling kinda insecure & undesirable but then when I got home I remembered that i kissed four separate ppl across the span of the whole day lol

Funny situation I have found myself in as a gay person multiple times now is “approached by a stunningly hot non binary who you want to make a pass at but then in conversation they mention being a hair stylist so you instead decide to change routes & seek out their service + talent instead.”

Music gc is has been popping off all day talking about clipse & coldplay like it’s 2002

Still kinda gagged that my mother had the gall to suggest her trans daughter & her son’s trans boyfriend try to attend THE catholic mass with THE pope ar THE VATICAN on Christmas eve

Cis lady walked up to me & my trans friend on the dancefloor last Fri, grabbed his shoulder looked us in the eyes & said “I NEED you to know that YOU are allowed to take up THE MOST SPACE…” but by the time those words left her mouth I was halfway across the club looking for a place to sit & do bumps

I LOVE MY APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reaching levels of unsupervised during work hours never seen before

Oomf just met the costco guys???

Breeders are insane. Like sure let’s just bring THREE strollers with THREE different babies onto a crowded bus at rush hour. Surely there will be room for that!!!!

I'm gonna shine out in the wild silence

near fatal levels of Girl Crush in my veins rn

Would you still love me if i drank the GleebleNorp Juice for breakfast?

They’re presenting me with a medal tomorrow . . . A Medal of Honor . . . A Medal of sucking Honor shit crazy style !!!!!!

I have GOT to get Out of Portland Oregon

Why is texting the plug to see if you can pick up before the weekend highkey the most embarrassing thing ever

it’s that time of year again

absolute creamer at the bannered mare in whiterun

On 6/28/25 esteemed PNW transsexual hairstylist Vivian Gottfredson told me that my “bob is fierce” i’ll never forget it

Finally got assigned the work project that might make me End It All

Hey are you okay? I checked your location and it said you were at the intersection of art and technology

Oomfs rly out here acting all sad & surprised & shocked & heartbroken when their outdoor cat runs away… Like………

I am trying so crazy hard to rizz up this girl dude she’s so pretty & put-together and out of my league but i think it’s working… i’ve never had game on the line like this. Every time I have a crush I forget about the part where it makes you Insane.

It’s sooooo fierce when a stunning beautiful TS woman is serving Fresh Filet-O-Fish Tuna Tartare & her name is something bricky as fuck

Went to get tested @ the testing clinic for faggots. Walked in & a dyke from my college checked me in. She didn’t remember my face. Stunning doll I’ve met before leaves her appointment, walks right past me. I have hickies on my neck & tits, poppers-burn under my nose, & I look like a gay sex addict.

My crush thinks i’m pretty NOBODY MOVE

Dream where i was the only doll in an orgy puddle of nonbinary & transmasc dykes at a rave wasn’t real 💔

Once you understand The Percocet & Stripper Joint by Future it’s Over.

Me when I’m in a losing inventory items every weekend contest

last night was a recession indicator

I need to have lots of disgusting sex with hot people who are in love with me

This midwest emo-ass weekend

How come i’m always the most desired at a time when there’s a weird dry spot in the corner of my lips

I can’t start dating ANOTHER goth nonbinary who lives in a 1-bed in an old apartment building in Northwest i simply CAN’T

Most chopped-ass June of my life

Eating thussy still undefeated