I wonder how they even figured out you can tattoo eyelids

Happy people posting pictures of their outdoor bbq party with fireworks and a caption that says “fuck the 4th of July and America” caption day

Hey are you okay? I checked your location and it said you were at the intersection of art and technology

I can’t believe I had to explain the young thug trial to a 75 year old man who just got diagnosed with lung cancer

People in Portland Oregon will act like you shot their mother if you express wanting a tan

When I was a kid my parents decided they wanted to fuck off to Tibet for a few months so they gave me to my grandma who put me in vacation Bible school lol and I did not know what was happening

The collapse of the Soviet Union gives Adidas a steez that Nike could never replicate

I just know I’d find club drugs and idm in every lifetime

Doing a lot of adderall and listening to yoko ono>>>>>>>

Girl doing coke in the bathroom last night kept begging me to dance to “the arctic monkeys or slipknot or something like that you know” like bro idk if I do know

The thing about dancing is sometimes the least esoteric music pick is the most esoteric. See: Cherry pie, pony, glory box, etc.

People in Portland honestly go apeshit when I dance to portishead in the club it’s bananas

I really want someone to buy me a bunch of belly rings

I’m not someone who can balance part time jobs tell me why I have to work from 8:30am-3pm today and then also 10:15pm-2:30am and then on Thursday I have to work at 8:30am again after getting off at 2:30am the night before

Tryna feed my girl nerd clusters while going to town on her nerve cluster iykwim

One time (before I had seen it) someone I was sitting with tried to deny poor things was pedophilic but then when i brought up dogtooth they also tried to deny that movie was about incest so

I’m finally watching poor things did anybody else realize this movie is bad????

Instagram targeted cleaning product ads are so lost on me like girl I’m not mopping my walls

Sometimes at work when I don’t want to do my job i just ask my boss to explain the federal reserve to me and i buy myself at least an hour. If I really need hours that week I start to play devils advocate

Most of the jobs ive ever had are just babysitting middle aged men and unfortunately im extremely good at it

My boss is showing me Seinfeld blooper reals and I have to pretend to think it’s funny

Wearing a black turtleneck to my psychiatry appt as a power move. No let’s talk a little bit about YOUR condition.

I love pope stuff

My body doesn’t keep the score it’s just playing for fun

Sometimes when I’m at the gym I’m like damn it’s almost like I like playing on my phone more than working on my core but we ride

I’m gonna start a museum of mole hair

Whenever people (esp ppl who have not done it) talk to me abt sex work i come off as really jaded but at the end of the day the only motivation should be money and it’s not *wrong* to feel any sort of empowerment or self exploration but those feelings should not be expected or the reason to engage

I would literally do the ice bucket challenge right now I’m so fucking fr

When I say I have insane lore what I mean is my emdr therapist gets looney toon dollar sign eyes when she sees me

I remember trying to get into the “bunnicula” book series as a 2nd grader and being really disappointed the bunny just sucked the color out of vegetables and had no bloodlust and never reading it again

Every time my boss gets me Panera it’s giving serf

So many people who are all ab mental health awareness or advocacy still stigmatize people who have the kindof mental illness where u genuinely act out and do chaotic things but lowkey it’s kindof based ngl thank a crazy bitch in your life today

Ppl who smoke weed are so funny they’re always saying shit like “don’t worry I’ll smoke you out” like now I’m worried

At work today I’m pretending to know stuff about sports and then when they ask further questions I just say “oh you can’t take a joke?”

I just went to the convenience store and bought another box of trix

I haven’t gotten a period in like 6 years (slay) but once a month I get realllyyyyy hungry anyways I ate a whole box of trix cereal in like 24 hours

I <3 something I can never get back

I don’t care about the plot it’s about the tits and the vibes

Club auditions today back on my bullshit

Dee-lite bootleg next????

Did they release the new towa tei album as an April fools joke for me alone

Not having a strap ready at all moments is a form of blocking your blessings

It’s kinda like yeah I am a gen z freelance social media management and event planner why do u ask

Every morning I wake up and I tie didi down and I force her to watch experimental foreign animation and she says “okay sweetie”

Does anyone remember that documentary Samsara from the early 2010s that shit was like Gaspar Noe for liberals who worshipped Anthony Bourdain No Reservations

I’m on beta blockers you’ve never heard of in transcendental emotional spaces you can’t pronounce

I really wanted to like it based on my love for banana flavored beverages but it was pretty terrible

I need to find a friend in Portland who can pop my back in that one way where they throw u up in the air from behind and catch u

One time I taught an actual rocket engineer how to sew because she wanted to teach kids how to make astronaut suits and we listened to Donna summer it was fun but later I saw her get a signal notification from a nasa employee vaccine conspiracy group chat

The 50 yr old stoner I work with keeps getting mad because I am calling his corned beef “hear ye hear ye meat”