I’m Being Peer Pressured Into Risky Sex By The Monster Under My Bed and 6 Other Tales of Terror To Help Curb Your Naughty Child by Morgathana Goodsuck

Okay wait Fritzi, diva . . .

tfw im going to chicago to get my soup bone boiled cuz these new york women let my soup bone spoil

any chicago bitties know where a transsexual woman could find a good personal boxing coach who will be normal ?

last night when i got home from work around 340AM i had trouble falling asleep because i couldnt stop thinking about grocery store sushi. i could taste its contours, feel the plastic container snap open and shut. plagued

“Family-oriented” may be my least favorite phrase in the English language

Lady on my bus riding in circles to stay warm keeps referring to me as captain (thanks captain, all good captain) which gives my night bus the vibe of a two manned submarine which I drive and her job is to sleep and stay warm (which she’s great at)

trans woman who changes her name to Woman Of Plenty and wanders the exurbs of chicago performing impromptu execution on soccer moms and girl dads

Call me little miss pro social the way my behavior can be permitted due to the way it impacts others

2k26:

Is your New Year’s resolution to read more ??? Is it not ??? Either way you should read this book and join us on February 8th for what WILL BE the METEORIC RETURN of the myopicXempty bottle book club

It is a cold dreary Chicago winter and we want you to read some Algren with us about it. February 8th at the Empty Bottle.

2k26 vibe

okay sincerity o clock: this was a tough year w an enormous amount of change and transition(pause) that, though ending up for the good, largely left me overwhelmed and exhausted. one of the few unalloyed bright spots this year was making a book w my best friend @wanlittlehusk.bsky.social

[christmas dinner, whole family together for the first time in years] cousin 1: the practice has been doing great 2: our second is on the way but Judy is really blossoming :) 3: i just opened another franchise! me: i've been told i have a dancer's gait. . never even taken a lesson 😏

i love hanging shelves. the result is so satisfying and the process is a beautiful journey that you take backward in time with the contractor who drywalled your apartment, discovering the areas where he just kinda vibed it out or did a crazy patch job

Beautiful I live a life now where I get to be surprised when I see stuff like this instead of well aware of its release date and having to tell ppl if it’s ‘good’

‘ my hoes they do drugs’ is my ‘cellar door’

pluribus is good but how do i stop spending the runtime saying pluribus to myself in funny ways. plubrius. pubrilus. pusbrilus. prubsilus.

where's my fucking GUY tho where's my FELLA okay that's what im trying to figure out

Me to anyone in the city of Seattle who will listen: so the thing about my best friend is that she’s a bus driver

Also this motherfucker is like Forrest Gump for mid century nyc. Oh cab Calloway was besties w my parents. Oh I met Albert Einstein. Oh i had detention w stokely carmichael. Oh I was at Allan kaprow’s first happening. Come on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

christmas beading marathon 2025, ~12.5 hours or 7 trash christmas movies

2026 is my year of calling shit 'facile' and 'grotesque' or 'painterly' and 'enlivening'

Putting frostys old silk hat on Sue, the most complete T. rex skeleton ever found, and seeing what happens

if you are not approaching thje toilet like it is an attack on the fixture than you are destined to upset, spiritually and gastrointerestintially

“I’m taking a data-driven approach to the issue of crime. I’ve looked at all the available numbers and what I’ve discovered is there are certain calendar days in the year where crime is more likely to occur. What I propose is on these dates we make crime . . . Illegal” -Steve jobs if he was alive

Like the piston of a great engine(force,rapidity) I am forcefeeding a baby “Christ” communion wafers in hopes that he will retain enough of the saint’s “body” at one time to engender the second coming

No one is riding the bus tonight because it’s Christmas Eve so I just keep saying out loud to an empty bus , “yep, just me and mister claus working the streets tonight, yessir”

God I needed to read this today 🙌

If the members of three 6 mafia had the experience of boning me they’d never have written “I’d love having sex but I’d rather get some head” due to both my immaculate ass and my atrocious dome

Dawg.

I’m preserving an egg yolk with the salt my body makes when I sweat while dehydrated

bringing power back to 'gender' with the utility of the 'pro-noun'. not a pronoun, but a professional noun for which i pay a subscription fee so whenever i say it aloud a fighter jet breaks the sound barrier above my present location to punctuate my usage. mine will be 'leo'.

Will never not feel amazing to call my job at night to find out my assignment the next day and have them tell me “you are working 3 hours and we will pay you 8 hours”

a party planner's best friend: "the knife best kept hidden"

u want a amiibo ? ill give u two: a mii boning you and a youu boning the floor, piip squeak

Sun burns only happens on face/upper back/ neck/ shoulders and the reason for this is patriarchy but if u say this out loud you’ll get ur sack hammered flat by the alphabet mafia

Margot Martindale did the thing Margot Martindale my woman king Margot Martindale you’re a genius And Margot Martindale you are all of us

Tummy queen of Chicago

I met Alice by happenstance being a transsexual in mpls during a period where I was doing an enormous amount of writing that I never conceptualized would live anywhere but notebooks. spending time w her and reading her writing and talking about writing w her made thinking bigger feel possible

huh, not quite how i usually hear it but it's got verve

Chicago summer rips so god damn hard

Taking the cig from my lips and gesturing to the most delicate member of my greasy boy gang: I’m tryna get this cat to respond to “gayboy”

lou keeps me chained in a shed out back with a jitterbug that can only text his number. i only get food if i text him something worth posting. if it gets more than 50 likes i get to see three minutes of sun reflected off a strip of flattened, polished copper he found at the bottom of the quarry

i am the transsexual Cadmium Christ (Cadmium Christ is a character I've invented who is like a cissexual me)

going pansy mode this autumn ninny-maxxing fall 2k25 just going absolute wimp mode the moment chicago's first leaf shades brown

i dont think i could ever be a twitch streamer because if i put a live feed of myself on the internet an animal of the digital will crawl along my data-visage like a monkey on a vine and perpetrate great misery on the earth. this is a genetic condition

my sense of taste needs to be taken behind the shed and shot for the agita it's brought me