Guy on Grindr asking a trans girl whose bio says “looking to get my shit rocked” how big is it like a man dying of thirst in the desert pointing at a camels hump and saying “lemme get some of that”

I kknow so many who say “fall is when I can really start dressing” but damn I just wear summer so good and I’ll miss her

Over enunciated vocal warm up: I’m sending you the recipe for wet pussy pie

when ive had my booster and my body aches and head swims and i took a nyquil and it's sinking me but not quite sunk so yet the work of bob fosse is the closest i feelto religion

Hey it’s been a minute we should hang out soon ! Yeah maybe we could go to that shuffle board bar ! Then after we could go to this spot nearby that serves cocktails inspired by 80s films. Then I’m thinking we hit that dessert ravioli spot before catching the midnight rocky horror at the dine in mov

Testifying before congress: if I wasn’t a woman . . Could I do this ? *elaborate series of hand gestures, almost like tutting but with a deafening inelegance which prompts several audience members to stand and peer closer to see if I’ve hurt myself*

Girl pointing at me across the bar and whispering to her friend: they call her Pantone the Untouchable due to her incorruptibility in matters of justice . . .

Extremely proud to present MYOPIC SAINTS VOLUME 2, 4 more posters celebrating the favorite authors of your favorite used bookstore.

I really like my new business cards

Hard launching my new bf: when I first saw 👀Kiss&CuddleTSCD the last thing on my mind was my future. Well ,

I now pronounce you chuck and Larry porn parody “I Now Pronounce You Suck and Fuck”

thinking about her again .. .

2020s lit fic starts with "what if something interesting and ~subversive~ happened" and ends with "and from it we learn what's really radical is the status quo 😎"

Okayyyy Venus on a half shell but make her a lil thot

My partner found a ribbed body con maxi dress for me at the thrift and keeps saying “put on your woman sock for me”

Know I’m doing personal style right because friends will just text me from the thrift store pics of tags and say “is this one of those weird 90s budget brands ur obsessed w” and often the answer is no I’ve never heard of it but the clothing is usually fire either way

This might end up being a disaster but rn it feel like my life a mubi fr

Beastie boys voice: I’m overworked and under [FED] These streets will soon run with [RED] I will not rest until my programs [DONE] I don’t pray to god but to my [GUN]

Girl Who Won’t Shut Up About Chicago Finally Quits Eschewing Her Destiny and Gets A Job As City Bus Driver

if someone tells me they are praying for me i immediately begin to pray for their demise so that their prayers (aiding and empowering my prayers like a nos booster) end up being their own undoing. this is a lesson on economincs

Having a go to crystal clear glossy sealant that could do well on a variety of materials and be durable to wear would solve the vast majority of issues personal and professional

Terry Goodkind m.A.A.d city

My first word was pussy, my second word was money, and my third word was atone

was biking through the loop and a group of teens threw a whole bottle of water on me as i passed by. cant even be mad, feels like karma for being a menace at the same age, in the same neighborhood, maybe even the same block. that might've been the ghost of a younger me enacting penance

What everyone who doesn’t go to myopic books to buy their copy of the orange eats creeps for October book club and therefore doesn’t get a sick ass bookmark will be saying come November:

Taking this pic gave me a fire idea for my notebook

You gotta go to myopic books and get a copy of The Orange Ears Creeps so you can read it for the myopic x empty bottle book club but really you’ve got to do it so you can get the FIREEEEEE @wanlittlehusk.bsky.social designed special book club bookmarks that go absolutely insaneo mode

Heat from fire ? Yeah, sure, I’m with you. But fire from heat ???? Honey I was born on a weekend but it damn sure wasn’t yesterday !

Me and the girls boutta make a straylight run need anything

DM: there are two doors. in front of the doors are two guards. one always lies and one always genders you correctly. they both have guns but you feel strongly that they are not loaded. you have no evidence to support this but you'd bet your life on your gut feeling in this moment and no other

Like, ‘do not comply in advance’ becomes way way harder when the mere idea of someone coming to force you to comply is insurmountable. Knowing what it feels like to fight and knowing that there are scarier things than fighting and its consequences is pretty key to all my politics I think

Something I think that is easy to forget: near all of us have the ability to hurt another person with our bodies and I really believe being comfortable/familiar w that is profoundly worthwhile even if you never use it

Worlds least chill undercover at the Palestinian cafe. Got the lowdown that this girl in the poison girlfriend shirt went on a bad date where he didn’t even ask any questions just talked about himself. Resistance infosec scrambling

gonna start pressganging square jawed cis women and foppy cis men into roving crews of active camouflage that surround me in a cloud of plausible gender deniability

oh thats ur bitch ? why am i depicted in crude sketches as varyingly undressed in the margins of her personal diary ? and before you ask, when i say varying, they are becoming more graphic and nude over time not less, honey

my baby: banana split please ! Louis Prima checking his wallet and sweating bullets: uhhh, a glass of plain water for me !

Lawrence fishburne at ever age I think is the most beautiful a man has ever been.

Guy driving yelling at me while I’m on my bike “you’re supposed to stop at stop signs too” making me feel like Daniel plainview at the end of there will be blooding getting yelled at by Paul dano. You already stopped for me, hoss, I’m straight up drinking ur milkshake rn

Exec: you got thta tag line I asked for? Marketing guy: sure do boss, real suffused with the existential dread of a life misspent on a purpose without substance, just like you asked

Type shit

Smokin on that shit that got Dracula when he ate dinner but was peckish for a sweet treat after

And I’m her :)

Call her Miss Psychosexual the way she’s always followed by drama

i know stuff kinda sucks right now but there is this thing i want to buy so i've got that going for me

When Leonardo Bruni finished his manuscript the city of Florence declared a holiday and threw a generational parade. City of Chicago should do this for me for this new shit

A bunch of the worlds most Italian teamsters just came by the coffee shop I’m writing at and they were giving each other shit when one of them cursed and all the others wen “woah woah hey there’s ladies here !” And the guy that cursed came over to me w his hat off and said “sorry ma’am”

What We Talk About When We Talk About Detransitioning and Getting Jobs In Finance and Moving to Wrigleyville and Becoming Addicted to Video Gambling

today i keep saying to myself "i am the angel of myth" in an irish accent. dont really know what this one means, feels good in the throat

“It’s 9am why is she being so filthy?” I’m gonna weld your septum ring to a bridge strut you keep chirpin