Rewatching 30 Rock for the billionth time and it just really cemented the idea that I need a service sub like Kenneth. Loyal, eager to serve, and mysteriously supernatural.

Just learned the ice cream shop in my new neighborhood has dairy-free soft serve ice cream.

Checking in here. Seems we’re all more or less in a weird/dark headspace so that’s…cool.

You know the state of the world is fucked when the bodega weed bags start making political statements. 👀

Life has been chaotic. I put on makeup for the first time in weeks and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I passed. Genuinely did a double take of my own ass cause it looked so good. Nature is healing.

I haven’t been doing sessions, but scrolling through my feed of dommes makes me miss toying with and ruining foolish playthings. 🥲

Sleepy. Hungry. Horny. Someone eat me out until I fall back asleep. Then wake me up for breakfast. 😬

Can we plz start crediting the artist when we share this? Artist: @vhsdogs.bsky.social

Yeah it was a “Roman salute.” Just like “men kissing no shirts” appeared in my family computer’s search history because of a “computer virus.”

Heavy sigh. Day 2.

A week ago I went down a rabbit-hole researching The Village People’s history and timeline of lawsuits so it’s very nice to see one of the original members release a statement.

Microdosing hell by living in America

If this is how it's gonna be

Finally watching the latest season of Love is Blind. Damn, they really just found the most…oatmeal flavored of people for this season, huh?

A crumb of dopamine, please?

Hi friends, I miss you. 🥲 Life has been very unsexy and uncool and I haven’t been feeling like myself for a while because of it.

Oof…lightning and thunder hours before the new year? I ain’t saying it’s an omen but…

2024 was not my favorite year, but I did gain the confidence to start publicly posting rather than continuing to keep all this ass to myself (and friends), so that’s pretty cool. 🖤

the burden of carrying this fat pussy around all the time, phew

I will make new content once I feel capable. Until then, there's plenty of me to see here and on Fansly. Right now, I deserve rest. 🖤

I did not expect to love playing Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom as much as I do. Now it’s all I want to do. Help.

I’ve had the same one line from of a Creed song stuck in my head for 24 hours and I am about to snap at any given moment.

Merry Cocksmas.

If you’re wondering where all the single women are on Christmas Eve; they’re doing their laundry. I swear every woman in my apartment complex is doing their laundry today. Haven’t seen a single man. 💀

This year I am about as prepared and apathetic for the holidays as Patti LaBelle was that one time. Better luck next year.

Acting like a real wild animal today. Unfortunately that wild animal is a mama bear preparing for hibernation.

Put my finger on my clit and a cop siren immediately started going off outside. They’ll never take me alive!

Partner really woke me up at 6 am like: “hey, look outside, it’s snowing! Also do you want a black bean burger? I’m making them.” 💀

Wanted to get stoned before a hot shower to help relax my muscles, but instead I just couch locked myself on the sofa in my robe. Whoops.

when he wants me to call him daddy

Treated myself to my favorite cbd lube and I cannot wait to use it again. 😌

Partner asked me to take a pregnancy test because he says I’ve been walking around like this. 🙄

They always say “thick thighs save lives” which I never really understood. The real W of thick thighs is being able to hold your vibrator in place without using your hands. That doesn’t rhyme as nicely though…

imagine the whole galaxy in front of you… soft and fuckable… what’s your favorite thing about outer space? 🌌💋🪐.

Oh no, I interpreted this image very differently than intended.💀

Anyone else have a cat that wakes them up not because they’re hungry, but because they just want attention? Our cat woke me up by repeatedly slapping a plastic, reusable tote while yelling. I gave her a few pets, walked her to her already full food bowl, and now she’s chill. What a drama queen.

Just realized I've been walking around with a giant grits stain (that looks suspiciously like cum) on my tits, like a true southern debutant. 🫠

I was approved for Mint Stars months ago but haven’t taken the time to use the platform because it confuses me. Do y’all actually get a lot of traffic there? 👀 The no fees are TEMPTING but the profile setup / collections / sell backs confuse me. 🤔

The messy side of me always lets out a little sigh when I see there’s an internet argument going on, but I can’t read the problematic side because I’ve already blocked the account. 🥲

All I want for Xmas is…

I like to imagine that my bare, pixelated ass gets auto-labeled as explicit porn not because AI is trained to be fatphobic, but because my ass is just so ridiculously sexy that the general public can’t handle it. 😒

Grateful for the subs who get excited like a puppy when I return from a break. 🖤 I deserve no less.

I was not kidding in the slightest. RIP leopard-print panties.

Bimbos, Himbos, and Thembos… I just can’t get enough of all of ‘em

Walking around in my nightie and thinking why do I suddenly feel a breeze? My panties ripped clean off at the seam. Ass fully out. I—

*Hanging in the living room while I’m in a sexting session* Me: “oh fuck!” Partner: “did you get a big tip?” Me: “No, I forgot I made us hot chocolate!!!” Was still warm. All is ok.

It's Friday night, do you know where your hot sluts are?