Hey SLUTS 🫵 the Epstein files were just released 💥💥 and ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ BILL CLIT-TON ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️

Chicago is my least favorite suburb of Detroit

instagram has me figured out

there should be an orchestra with a mosh pit and a bathroom that they let you do nose drugs in there is no reason for me to be sitting still during Grand ballabile in act 2 of the nutcracker i should be in the pit

my 2025 i cannot believie [sic] how much things have turned around in this past month :)

he's delivering remarks

feeling like a celebrity after walking out of the dentist after being told i have the mouth of a “model patient“

At first, I hated AI being integrated into all of my devices. But now? i still fucking hate it! fuck off!

woohoo!

fucked up listening to corny love songs at 1 in the morning

throwback to the time i called rudy giuliani a whore for not saying hi to bingus

i hate this current moment because on one hand i’m in a position to leave the country, but on the other hand i’m in a place i love, doing work i love, i love myself for once and with so much more love left to give and if there’s one thing i refuse to let these bastards take from me, it’s my love

is it considered “distracted driving” to think about yuri while driving

the universe has been testing my bisexuality recently and i am on the brink of giving up on men

girls! i like them

why be mad about football when you could think about yuri instead

my first day at work was so wonderful, i feel like an abused animal that‘s finally in a loving home “1 hour lunch breaks??? you get free food sometimes from catering??? people understand what i mean when i reference mc escher??? no fucking country music??? what?????????? 🥺🥺🥺” i love my job

what i want most out of a relationship is someone to un-ruin “come on eileen” by dexys midnight runners for me bc i have bad romantic memories attached to it from when i was 15 and i want to be able to listen to an objectively great song and not get war flashbacks anymore

sorry link, i can't give credit! come back when you're little, mmm, richard!

so i take my estradiol sublingually (dissolved under tongue), and i woke up to a light blue splotch on my pillowcase this morning because i take it right before bed and i apparently conked out so hard and so fast that i drooled estrogen on my pillow lmfao

i'm realizing my look is pretty much just androgynous nancy wheeler

hmmmnm,,,, I cast spell of 𝕆ℕ𝔼 ℍ𝕌ℕ𝔻ℝ𝔼𝔻𝕐 ℤ𝕀𝕃𝕃𝕀𝕆ℕ ℚ𝕌𝕀ℕ𝕋𝕀𝕃𝕃𝕀𝕆ℕ 𝕊𝕀𝕃𝕃𝕐 𝔹𝕌ℕℕ𝕀𝔼𝕊 ✨🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐰🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐰🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇🐇🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐰🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐰🐰🐰🐰🐇🐁🐰🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐇🐰🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐰🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐰🐇✨

Any CFB coach after 2021 Can't Lead, All They Know Is NIL Bribery, Abandon Their Program, Praise Jesus, Sexual Misconduct, Eat Hot Chip And Lie

I FUCKING LOVE MY HAIRCUT I JUST REALIZED I ACTUALLY LOOK GOOD IN HATS NOW!!! I'VE LOOKED STUPID IN HATS FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER!!!

fucked up in the crib reading r/wholesomeyuri

remembering the time a friend accused me of cheating in mario kart ds because i was snaking. we then proceeded to switch systems where i then kicked his ass with his own ds while my ds suddenly didn’t have any cheats on it

i got my flu and covid vaccines today (to protect against the woke mob) and after getting them in my left arm, all of a sudden my left arm hurts?? this is clearly fauci’s fault

i have an unbroken streak of flipping off every cybertruck i have ever seen

with this evening’s defeat to the houston texans, the kansas city chiefs, who were in the super bowl just last year, have now fallen to a record of 6-7 haha 6-7 hahaha

felt cube might delete later

It's fun when Ohio State loses. Really brings the whole national community of college football fans together.

just had to orbital strike an email for the first time in a month or so. got an email from zoom essentially saying “gosh, it’s been a year since you first downloaded zoom!” and this was my reaction to receiving said email youtu.be/FBdFhgWYEjM

you are not ready to witness me with swag. what you have witnessed from me thus far has been me without swag.

just choked on a carrot

you know i would show my face but this picture of a bunny got right in the way :/

i just got a wolf cut and now i look like i smoke cigarettes and kick people as a hobby

posting cut the rope trick shot highlights in the year of our lord 2025

i want to make enough money someday to live comfortably for myself and also subscribe to like 80 peoples' patreons and donate to a fuckton of kickstarters

I like it how they call it michigan because they michig an the cold food and michig out hot eat the food

i underestimated how good it would feel to do orientation for a job that actually has a 45 minute anti-harassment training video, it's such a breath of fresh air over the literal zero protections i had working retail

cool, great, yeah, fuck you

i’m like a werewolf, except my transformation happens every night, and instead of turning into a werewolf i just get really gay

Here’s my Spotify Wrapped 🎵✨

i just learned about nijntje today and i want her to know that i would die for her en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miffy

fucking fuck

i’m only realizing right now that i’ve been listening to a good chunk of classical music wrong just about my entire adult life. i would pretty much just peruse “best classical pieces of all time” and save the most popular bits, which for some things worked if they were standalone pieces.

oops! all metallica! (holy shit i fucking hated retail)

Always have Grandpa Simpson story ready for when a kid asks you. #webcomics