Homer: D'oh!! Marge: Oh Homie.. Lisa: Bart Maggie: Flanders, Apu, Moe Krusty, Mr. Burns, Sodeshow Bob, Krusty, Simpsons Simpsons, the Simpsons Comic Book Guy

if u think im hot now , just wait until my body isnt in fight or flight mode

why do film editors always feel the need to specify that theyre asexual ?

in this episode lorelai brought her laptop to the coffee shop to check her emails and to go online she has to run a long ethernet cable across the counter to plug into the fax line in the wall

I will destroy her

"make no bones about it" Way ahead of you . I dont know how to make bones

reality show called "I Married A Murderer" where the production crew just baits random dudes into murdering people and then interviews their wives

Wikipedia . Its where the knowledge is .

my stupidness and my dumbness are two of my most attractive traits

if i do get this flip phone working as my main phone then every time i use it ppl are gonna ask where to get one & i'll have to be like "yeah the company went bankrupt so u have to buy it on ebay and spend ages adding custom apps & messing with dev settings to make it usable . But its so cool right"

People say beethoven was such a great musician but he didnt even play any of that shit . He just got a bunch of other people to play it while he waved around a gay little stick

Being a 911 phone operator isnt that bad . Whenever i get overwhelmed i just disconnect the phone line and take a little mental health break . I figure if it's something important they can always call back later

if dracula came into my home and said "Grrrrr im dracula" i wouldnt believe him because dracula doesnt growl

i just told my flip phone "youve been a good girl" it's so over for me

i think they could fix the economy by just allowing everyone to spend as much money as they want and let ppl's bank balance be negative without any repercussions

Heartbreak felt across the entertainment industry as the world remembers Max Landis is still alive (Source: tinyurl.com/mpbfamke)

whenever i make a post that seems like kind of a sweeping statement about something please know that i probably thought about it for 40 seconds total and i only sort of believe it

Heya it’s that time of the month where insurance doesn’t cover the full cost of my prescriptions (120 out of pocket) if anyone wants to lend a hand. ko-fi.com/withkindereyes

Stairs to nowhere Sidney, IL

🚨 Special Urban Report 🚨 Pump N Munch Minneapolis, MN

This gross ass frog is rubbing his feet all over the telephone

it's the muppet show !! with our very special guest star ... (drumroll stops , kermit gets serious) Your father .

doormats that go hard

i think it's wrong for sex toys to be charged over usb . they should be wall plug only

Oof. I just read your post in the most uncharitable, pedantic way possible, and I gotta tell ya: it's not looking good for you.

lorelai gilmore : (drinking a cup of coffee) the score : La lala lala la lala lala

just once i'd like a customer to say "oh i'm so sorry !! you're very clearly overworked and doing your best and i've been completely unreasonable and rude to you . allow me to commit seppuku"

they should build two identical 1300 foot towers right next to each other in financial district of new york city

$2731/$10000. PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN. Haven't had any donations in a few days, but i'm still optimistic that i could get to $2750 today. Anything helps. #helpsky #gofundme #trans #transsurgery

mayyy have just found some fixes i can do to that modern razr v3 replica phone i bought to make the battery life actually usable ... if i can go back to using a dumbphone that looks like this im gonna be so so so happy

VCR technology isnt obsolete, it just hasnt made any advancements in nearly three decades. thats why we here at Sony are proud to annouce our new line of VCRs featuring a whole slate of new buttons, such as PREWIND, SLOW FORWARD, PLAUSE, and STAP

i believe that most good-faith artists in any medium will naturally improve at their craft if given the support to keep passionately doing whatever they want . critique and feedback can be important but the kind of scathing teardowns common on the internet have never benefitted anyone

I’m seriously behind on utilities and would really appreciate starting a new month *not* owing money. Please boost if you can. ko-fi.com/beverlyannem... #helpsky #helpfolkslive2026 #mutualaid #disabled 💕💸

"The Islamists oppose women getting an education," I mutter, as I aim my missile at the girls school

Just found out about clothing . Apparently you're supposed to wear this stuff

Do you believe? - Y yes - Huh?

off they go! #HashtagFantasticFantasy #HashtagCooked #HashtagThisIsWild #HashtagBrokeMe #HashTheMothering

Sam is going to be speeding across town on her bike on this fine morning.... #oc #monsterhearts #lesbian

we all feel sick and want to do something about this , so if you're able to do something then do something , but getting into fights with strangers on bluesky isnt actually any more productive than , say , logging off and watching a tv show . it might feel like it is but it really isn't

85 schoolgirls. just one is a world, a future of infinite possibilities, a universe. that america has done this atrocity to 85 of them, that it will continue to do even worse... i don't even know what to say. i condemn this with every fiber of my being, but that doesn't feel like enough.

don't even TALK to me until i've had my morning Monty Bojangles Choccy Scoffy

why did i just get a tiktok ad for someone doing a prank to gorilla-glue someone's ear shut while theyre sleeping . that seems more like a crime

most shockingly of all, the alien craft was reportedly adorned with a sort of bumper sticker that said "Earth Hoes Cant Fuck"

which way western man

[cis person seeing an upset trans woman in the wake of the 13451345982nd consecutive daily genocidal trans news] how dare this deranged tranny freak they they they freak they person non-woman say something mean about me? everyone kill them right now