omg everybody go draw a horse this is what the internet was made for gradient.horse

Having literally written the book on the National Prayer Breakfast -- borne of the idea that God cares more for the rich and powerful than everyone else -- I can say this is the rare instance where Trump's grotesqueness is deeply appropriate.

There it is

Greg Bovino looks like a dollar store version of that sad divorced dad dude they had pretending to run FEMA for like a week

These are the House Democrats who voted for ICE funding this week, and if you’re on of their constituents, you should be lighting up their phones right now

Have you considered just shoving it all so far down that you’re so alienating from others, from yourself even, that the only option left is to congregate in a dank basement with the other sad fucks and beat the everloving shit out of each other?

So, at the most basic level of persuasion, if your first response to someone doing the right thing is to remind them of another time when they fucked up, you’ve already lost.

Love the new iOS functionality with this latest update, especially the Suddenly Nothing Functions function.

uh holy SHIT?

Rental car ➡️ Skytrain Skytrain ➡️ TSA TSA ➡️ Plane Train Aeroplane ➡️ Home

I will work on this for free.

How I order my hash browns at WH

Not today, Steely Dan

Not today, Steely Dan

as of this week it has officially been 18 years since an anonymous user uploaded this bizarre image of an opossum cornered in a baby grand piano to Wikimedia Commons

One thing I like about Stop & Shop is that sometimes when you buy sliced cheese, the label says, “LOL White American”

You can lead a horse to water but sometimes when you pull the legendary sword out of the lake, the horse reveals himself as a trickster god and steals the weapon and your knapsack full of apples.

The best scene in Jaws is when the boat guys sing a traditional sea shanty and Jaws pops out of the water and everyone is terrified but Jaws starts singing as well. There's this unspoken promise in the air that no one will eat anyone until the song ends.

How the Grinch Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life, Just Before Getting Caught in an Egregious Plagiarism Scandal But Still Graduating with Honors from Harvard Because Meritocracy is a Lie

My very first day of (public) high school started with the principal telling anyone 16+ that if they didn’t want to be there, they should drop out

Well, I’ll be dog

Is he volunteering to go first?

The Breeders Deerhunter Protomartyr The Jealous Sound Nine Inch Nails

"Thirty-eight years ago today a Chicago television signal was hijacked and the airing program was replaced by a stranger in a Max Headroom mask. The perpetrator has never been identified."

Shaheen is retiring; Virginia is solid enough Blue territory that Kaine shld be replaced by a Democrat who is serious about preserving American democracy.

In my ongoing mission to convince the everyone Brandon Boyd is the world’s worst lyricist, I just want to observe this time he compared the sky to something that exists for the sole purpose of looking like the sky.

In my ongoing mission to convince the everyone Brandon Boyd is the world’s worst lyricist, I just want to observe this time he compared the sky to something that exists for the sole purpose of looking like the sky.

''And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

I went to a party last weekend, and a young friend of mine asked a dude to guess how old I was, then interrupted him to say the dude’s guess was flattery. I guess it’s cute he thought I was above flattery

BREAKING: Escaped monkeys only regular monkey level of gross

I think I can say with certainty that this parlor trick isn’t going to end the world unless the economic meltdown it creates precipitates another world war, which seems not unlikely

Getting ready for the church bake sale and I had no butter for my famous “kitchen sink cookies.” Went to borrow some from my neighbor Frank but all he had was a tub of Parkay. Midge would roll over in her grave if she saw how he’s living now.

Let’s just, for argument’s sake, say they, Canada, did cheat: who wants the leader of the U.S. out there sounding like such a whiny little bitch?

If you’re 35+ and have to go to parties where costumes aren’t optional, the chances are like 3:1 you’ve accidentally joined a sex cult

Nazi called his fucking mommy for help

Free www.wabe.org/georgia-teac...

Almost missed it but None Pizza With Left Beef is old enough to vote today

“You can win elections by tacking to the middle; lots of people have. But you can also win elections by staking a moral position and convincing people to agree with you. You can earn support by demonstrating what is important to you instead of just being determined to nod along with what you hear.”

These ICE agents are racist trash

Counterpoint: they’re untrained Klan bros doing cosplay with live ammo, thinking they’ll never be held accountable

Ladies, Capt. Meth has some thoughts about your fashion choices

These Hegseth-style freaks think IQ is the end-all and be-all, and it’s still just an idea we made up.

See, what happened, kids, is Obama got hip with the Worldwide Web, and then your parents and the Republicans showed up, and that scene was DEAD

The internet was a lot cooler before there were politicians on here

MADELEINE DEAN: The president is unhinged. He's unwell JOHNSON: A lot of folks on your side are too D: Oh my god, please. That performance in front of the generals? J: I didn't see it D: It's so dangerous! Our allies are looking elsewhere. Our enemies are laughing. You have a POTUS who's unwell.

We were promised jet packs, but it was just to be a ploy to drive out competition ahead of stock buybacks, and their friendly position with the government meant they could continue selling the same slop without innovation for decades 🚀

Kevin looks like the weird kid who never outgrew his glue-eating phase

Someone explain to me how generative AI models are something more than a Ponzi scheme that culminates in the masters of tech force feeding us derivative garbage

ATTENBOROUGH: the stealthy predator lies in wait, perfectly camouflaged from his unsuspecting prey...