''And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

I went to a party last weekend, and a young friend of mine asked a dude to guess how old I was, then interrupted him to say the dude’s guess was flattery. I guess it’s cute he thought I was above flattery

BREAKING: Escaped monkeys only regular monkey level of gross

I think I can say with certainty that this parlor trick isn’t going to end the world unless the economic meltdown it creates precipitates another world war, which seems not unlikely

Getting ready for the church bake sale and I had no butter for my famous “kitchen sink cookies.” Went to borrow some from my neighbor Frank but all he had was a tub of Parkay. Midge would roll over in her grave if she saw how he’s living now.

Let’s just, for argument’s sake, say they, Canada, did cheat: who wants the leader of the U.S. out there sounding like such a whiny little bitch?

If you’re 35+ and have to go to parties where costumes aren’t optional, the chances are like 3:1 you’ve accidentally joined a sex cult

Nazi called his fucking mommy for help

Free www.wabe.org/georgia-teac...

Almost missed it but None Pizza With Left Beef is old enough to vote today

“You can win elections by tacking to the middle; lots of people have. But you can also win elections by staking a moral position and convincing people to agree with you. You can earn support by demonstrating what is important to you instead of just being determined to nod along with what you hear.”

These ICE agents are racist trash

Counterpoint: they’re untrained Klan bros doing cosplay with live ammo, thinking they’ll never be held accountable

Ladies, Capt. Meth has some thoughts about your fashion choices

These Hegseth-style freaks think IQ is the end-all and be-all, and it’s still just an idea we made up.

See, what happened, kids, is Obama got hip with the Worldwide Web, and then your parents and the Republicans showed up, and that scene was DEAD

The internet was a lot cooler before there were politicians on here

MADELEINE DEAN: The president is unhinged. He's unwell JOHNSON: A lot of folks on your side are too D: Oh my god, please. That performance in front of the generals? J: I didn't see it D: It's so dangerous! Our allies are looking elsewhere. Our enemies are laughing. You have a POTUS who's unwell.

We were promised jet packs, but it was just to be a ploy to drive out competition ahead of stock buybacks, and their friendly position with the government meant they could continue selling the same slop without innovation for decades 🚀

Kevin looks like the weird kid who never outgrew his glue-eating phase

Someone explain to me how generative AI models are something more than a Ponzi scheme that culminates in the masters of tech force feeding us derivative garbage

ATTENBOROUGH: the stealthy predator lies in wait, perfectly camouflaged from his unsuspecting prey...

My employer New York Public Radio just announced that it is offering @onthemedia.bsky.social, @radiolab.bsky.social, and other programs to at-risk public radio stations for free! More info: current.org/2025/09/wnyc...

I remain extremely concerned about the fact that 2/3 of the men from “alligator Alcatraz” are missing amp.miamiherald.com/news/local/i...

They really do work with any look

CHOTINER: Wow, you’re really hitting yourself ME: … CHOTINER: Why don’t you stop hitting yourself? ME: … CHOTINER: It’s like you just can’t stop hitting yourself ME: … CHOTINER: Yeah, you truly can’t stop hitting yourself

if you see this, post a concert picture that you took

Been thinking about shaving my head and filing my teeth to stumps to get that signature Stephen Miller look, and maybe y’all can let me know: would I be *too* hot?

The whole AI thing, what if it’s ultimately just a big toy? It feels like companies are laying off more customer service workers to replace them with claw machines

Same energy

This week has reminded me for the billionth time of Frontline’s claim that Trump only decided to run for president because Obama made fun of him at the WH Corespondents Dinner

WJAR btw is a Sinclair affiliate

yeah whatever

If you’re in RI, you can let Nexstar properties WPRI and WNAC what you think about suspending Kimmel

When freedom is under fire you can count on me to ramble and mutter incoherently.

Honest self-critical assessment: dense with a side of paranoid

I could sleep or I could stay up and make life hard. What’ll it be, brain?

“Based on your abilities, and the first group that you could be in was called The Blue Angels, and it was named after the famous aviators. And the other group was called Group 2.” —Mulaney

He really doesn’t know they’re all writers, does he?

You know somebody out there is going to put Guy Fawkes into Ezra Klein setup just for the Alan Moore of it all and get arrested And I’m just saying if you’re gonna go out, go out on a better joke

oh thank god

Aaaaand done. Fuck you Disney.

Disney has made a calculated decision that liberals will react with a whimper to the Kimmel announcement. Liberals could, if unified, bring Disney to its knees with a mass-boycott of Disney+.

The other day the dogwalker brought a corgi over to meet Rigby

In a free society, you should be able to say a dead person sucked. It’s callous and impolite, but it should be protected speech.

You either know how useless this is, or you have never used a cassette tape

Just imagine working at the CDC and hearing Trump’s response to the Kirk killing after he said nothing about the deadly shooting that happened a month ago on the CDC campus

This is a paragraph Brett Kavanaugh wrote on his little computer and then sent out into the world:

Atlas Gave a Thumbs-Up and Clicked His Heels Just to Show He Could, and Oh Yeah, Ayn Rand Sucks Did I do it right?

I’m sorry, did you want to talk about you again today?