I just love how relevant Boondock Saints is becoming right now

I’ve been struggling to call and schedule an appointment for about 3 months. I finally get the executive function to do it. They’re closed on fridays 🤦‍♀️

AI iS tHE fuTUrE 🙄

The fact that I’m unable to hit like on this post….

Biologists Confirm Not Much Evolution Happened Today theonion.com/biologists-c...

Man, not even Boondock saints? C’mon…he can’t even bro properly

I asked my step mom for advice, she told me to ask ChatGPT 🤦‍♀️

Me the first time I hear the local pharmacy’s custom jingle while on hold: that’s so cute and fun in 2026! 5 repeats and 3 minutes on hold later: who do I need to murder?

Tornados suck

Was about to go to bed and I realized that I have eaten 1 piece of apple licorice today, 2 cups of coffee, and maaaaybe 20 oz of water. Just ate 4 pieces of pepperoni and a pudding cup. Good ‘til morning! 😊

People say I’m being facetious when I declare that I am a forgettable person who people generally do not remember or care about. Today I got the third instance of a random person on FB reaching out to me to connect…to someone I know to who’s not on FB…and has nothing to do with me

Ooh Tim Roth is a pleasant surprise in Peaky Blinders. Been a fan since Four Rooms

I’d like to think it’s both and she’s just keeping that part to herself

me this week #pokemon #pokopia

Things that help calm the nervous system, quickly: - Box breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat) - Immerse your face in cold water (activates mammalian dive reflex) - Humming (stimulates vagus nerve) - Exercise (anything helps, outside even better) - Impeachment and removal

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

The Moon: oh wow you guys decided to come back Artemis II crew: earth’s haunted

My coworker: why is this most recent moon mission important? Is it because they faked the moon landing? Me: well, it’s the farthest a woman and a black person has been from Earth. Coworker: oh, I don’t care about that, they’re all human to me 🙄

🥹😂

He is Rizzo

Ladies if your babys father dresses like Zionism era John fetterman you’re not getting child support

Just read a 20 thread post on the vaginas of drop bears, and then I remembered it was April fools

real mad king stuff

By the time we did computer typing in high school, I had already been chatting on AOL for over a year and my bad habits were established. I was good enough to pass the class without “learning”. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I went back and developed the correct typing skills. They do help.

I just spent the weekend in Toronto at Furnal Equinox while Comicon was also happening there. 🇨🇦 I would imagine most of those people would avoid a con because of ICE. I can totally pass as a very boring person. I’m still cancelling trip because I have 0 interest in coming in contact with ICE.

I might make friends with the other fur con mom who is pestering the bartender about waiting until 11 to open #FurnalEquinox

"i'm on the struggle bus today" bro i am driving the struggle bus. and if it goes slower than 55 mph it's going to explode

We went from a staged fall to furiously miming above Ozzy’s head. Christian is a treasure and the star of the season. #Survivor50

I'm a firm believer that when two people who value the Oxford comma find one another, their relationship is destined to be fulfilling, beautiful, and everlasting.

Knowing there’s a post-show movie named “the immortal man” really takes the steam out of 6 seasons worth of nail biting cliffhangers. Will they finally succeed in murdering him this time? Probably not 🤷‍♀️

If I had a nickel for every time Franz Ferdinand was involved in the precursor events of a world war, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

I keep trying to get my kids to read Through the Looking Glass and Alice in Wonderland because, boy oh boy are those some wild rides! Also, very short books

Quietly, calmly and forensically, BBC just dismantled the Trump communications shitshow on Iran. No hyperbole, just laying out an unprecedented military, diplomatic and reputational shambles. Worth a watch. (🎥 BBC News/BBC Verify)

My stomach just made a sound reminiscent of a velociraptor. Does not bode well for my evening 🥴

Post an old meme to confuse young people The cheat is grounded

Mike White talking about standing on the beach with mythical creatures….

That shot hanging on the burger after “I’m pissed!” In the opening sequence… #Survivor50

Seriously, I open the app to live tv just in time to see who stands up and gets their torch snuffed!? #survivor50

They won't start with banning birth control. First they'll lie about it. Then dictate who can prescribe it, use it, fund it, in what forms, and for how long. Suddenly, your doctor won't call you back. I know this is what they'll do because it's what they're doing to transgender healthcare right now.

Meanwhile immigrants are being kidnapped off the streets, housed in inhumane conditions, and eventually dropped off in a foreign country with only the clothes on their backs and the money in their pockets…for the crime of not being born on US soil… I’d like some of that mob justice, please

If you see this, post a monster

You know these are the same people that will leave you a bible tract instead of a monetary tip when you wait on them.

How did I only find r/fuckpierre today? 🤣

Stepmom goes through great lengths to make sure I understand that her pastor is nonbinary by stressing the word “they” over and over. Also my stepmom: getting your kids genders right is really hard for me (it’s been 2 years)

Me: can you get to the bakery and get my kid a lemon donut for his birthday? They’re his favorite Step mom (back from the bakery): I got a dozen donuts and just 1 lemon for myself because they’re my favorite.

Watching a medical show that was entirely too intense for me Step mom: did you ever think about going into medicine? Me: ….yeah…. She apparently forgot when I was 18 and got accepted into college on a pre-med biology scholarship and she threatened to force my father to disown me if I went….

TIL

I’d really just settle for some social understanding, compassion…and pads that don’t leak. No tech please

This Tuesday, it is fat. I will eat yummy donut and be one with it.