me, age 15: conservatism seems like a fundamentally evil belief system me, age 21: actually it is more complicated than that, things are very complicated and everyone has their own way of seeing things. i am very smart me, age 3x: no i was right the first time nvm

“Excuse-a me?”

“I’m an eleven, but continue.”

How do you answer your phone?

Do it. Search your name. Take their money. It’s yours anyway.

This is trans rights, too. There is no viable position for the Democrats other than “trans rights are human rights.” Trying to triangulate a position where you throw trans people under the bus “just a little” to woo swing voters only feeds the right’s argument that trans people are a threat 1/x

This sounds like something Dale Gribble would do

it's not funny. cartoon wolves only blow their heads off when they're extremely horny

Even the smallest trailer slot for Gamescom is unattainable for indies. It'd basically bankrupt us! So if you wanna help a tiny indie get some visibility, then I'd love if you could check out our awesome game - there's giant capybaras in it!

Hey everyone, they just launched whales 2.0!

Han Solo: I can get you there in 800 Leagues Under the Sea

When I heard Google had been overrun by weird AI this isn’t what I thought they meant.

What happened to modern music? When *I* was young, songs were about real topics, like lists of which animals live on farms.

One of the minor but very nice benefits of being married is if you ever don’t want to do something/go somewhere/buy something you can just say “Let me just check with my wife first” and then dip

Holy shit The house in our neighbourhood that has had Trump signs up since before the election Took down their signs Consequences may actually be happening

Magic Trick I cast "Breakus Keyboardicus"

I drew this picture of my three-year-old and she started crying uncontrollably (and bit me) because she said I “drew it wrong”

ozzy osbourne dies everyone: "enjoy hell (complimentary)" hulk hogan dies everyone: "enjoy hell (derogatory)"

Just because it’s brutal doesn’t mean it’s the truth

So far the strategy of every Republican and Democrat to dunk on Zohran Mamdani seems to be to post “Look at this asshole!” accompanied by a photo of Mamdani doing the sickest kick flip you’ve ever seen in your life

Which of these objects do you consider to be “One Peanut”

We have decided our lives are not chaotic enough, so we added a puppy to the mix to keep things interesting.

DIY > AI

My timeline did a thing

Head & Shoulders should make a body wash called “Knees & Toes”

What actor’s expression in a movie will stay with you for the rest of your life (Not actually an actor, but still)

I still think this is a strong contender for the funniest video ever uploaded. Absolutely unbeatable comedic rhythm

Actually Roko's Basilisk hates being alive and will torture you for helping create it

Spooky fence post

A Well Regulated Militia (2020)

oh heck www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7Ej...

5/13/25

It’s #WebcomicDay or so I hear. I draw a webcomic about a Tasmanian tiger who ends up with a magical space helmet that gives her super intelligence, and the problems that causes.

Pope New York System Weiner IV

Zuck: The average American has three friends

People using AI to write their emails People using AI to read their emails I don’t have a big take on if this is good or bad, but it does seem to indicate basically everyone hates having anything to do with emails

The Scrapple at the Phoenix Cafe in Somerville, NJ. Crispy on the outside, gooey on the inside. Absolute perfection They sold the place to new owners during COVID and it was never the same

this also applies to money "given" to planned parenthood btw. the gov't isn't giving money away! it's paying for services that the government wants done!!! many of those services are mandated by law!!!!!

Who they want you to blame might change, but the motivation stays the same. It’s easier to pick our pockets if we’re fighting with each other.

*working in pediatrics ER* me: …and what brings you here today? kid: mom: go on honey you can tell the doctor kid: i keep eating cookies till i throw up mom: ok for the record that’s not why we are here but that is a problem

Steve Irwin with baby spinosaurus. Enjoy 🌈🐊

Re-listening to the #GreatestGen archives by download and adding the files to my Plex server and was very impressed to see Plex included the two eggplant emoji in the title for Season 3 Episode 12 of TNG

No one likes billionaires

[bluesky timeline] me: [chanting] blogs, blogs- other users: blogs, BLOGS bluesky staff: [pounding their computers] BLOGS, BLOGS, BLOGS!

oh your neighborhood has five guys burgers? haha yeah I guess that does sound like a lot of guys