Me reading the BPRD books in my 20s: “Man, these guys are all so bad ass!” Me rereading the BPRD books in my 40s: “Why is everyone in this organization a petulant child?”

Offering up my dogs services as a search and rescue animal for small pieces of plastic. Have you lost a small piece of plastic anywhere in your home? My dog WILL find it and WILL chew on it for you, guaranteed!

appreciate someone being able to eloquently summarise all this shit

Trans rights are human rights and this administration is an abomination of hate and greed.

Man, I’m sick of all these “Star Wars” reboots

Social Media in 2035

the mere fact that Republicans try so hard to prevent people from voting is enough of a reason to vote

"i asked you to proof-read my dating profile, not fact check it" is a perfect lockhorns joke, i'm in awe

A limerick. Based on a true story.

Slightly diminish a book. Reasonable Expectations

90s cartoons were wild because you’d have tons of episodes that looked like someone was drunk while doing cleanup and nobody had model sheets and then it’d bust out with an episode like this

Let me get this straight: *unbends coat hanger*

FoDs, how many days do you think it will take to make the newly independent @greatesttrek.com more popular than Tucker Carlson? I’m betting less than a month. It would make me soooooo happy #FoD #GreatestTrek

It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Tuvix!

Trump’s war in Iran f*cks over everyone, including himself. Watch the full video on YouTube: Trump’s war is costing him big time. youtu.be/nj_gGsIC_uo

Parenting is constantly wondering whether making your child to do this thing they hate is teaching them resilience and persistence and that discomfort isn’t fatal or is it just traumatising them Find out the answer in 20 years!

Not to diminish the stupidity/horror of the situation, but if Trump’s war gets the whole world to switch to solar & wind, that would be pretty funny

“The Iron Giant” but the reason Mansley is such a dick is he’s horribly constipated and then Hogarth slips him the laxatives and he’s finally able to shit and he chills out and he and the giant become friends

Beignet

“To some antelope, the herd’s invisibility to the lion is a sign of uncompetitive meat flavor”

Ideal relationship dynamic

Picard ethics tip: The fact that a conflict has many sides does not imply that every side has merit.

Once a year I like to prove I'm still alive by posting one single new page of "Inhumation" and then disheartening back into my little hole.

Listening to “Sweet Home Alabama” as a kid: “Heck yeah, rock and roll!” Listening to “Sweet Home Alabama” as an adult: “Wow these guys liked Richard Nixon, like, a LOT.”

“Moist” “Juicy” chicken is gross. Give me that bone dry white meat. That’s what sauces are for

“Is “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie?” is not an interesting question. It’s not worth thinking about in either direction

Caesar LacksAmbition

Melania: I never cut child in half with sword. I never do this. The entire USA: what? Melania: not me.

Reading a “Murderbot” book at the same I’m listening to a “Culture” audiobook and just thinking about how mad ART would get if it ever met a Culture ship

Social media apps as Lord of the Rings characters, a thread: Twitter: Twitter is Gollum. Began as a normal halfling. Overexposure to evil left it thin and stretched and bitter.

Past me (the me shopping at BJ’s last weekend) is punishing present me (the me that really wants a hot pocket right now) by refusing to buy a 40 pack of pepperoni hot pockets, so that future me (the me in 20 years) isn’t dying of a massive coronary from eating hot pockets every day for 20 years

Here's the number for the congressional switchboard. Please call your reps and senators. This man needs to be removed from office now. (202) 224-3121

I dreamt of the beach (1/4)

shoutout to whatever graphic designless queen put these up in silver lake

please enjoy this "vintage movie poster" I saw in a dream which was so funny to my subconscious that I immediately woke myself up to write it down for later

Trump is going to make an announcement tomorrow telling everyone to drive more. He’s gonna do an executive order banning bicycles

When sharks narrowly avoid a dangerous situation, do they say they escaped by the teeth of their skin?

Is gender-affirming care for trans kids really a dangerous experiment? Who should be in charge of who gets it? Doctors and families? Or politicians? #protecttranskids 🏳️‍⚧️

When did your obsession with hot toxic women begin?

GNU Terry Pratchett 🪻🖤 @terrypratchett.bsky.social

The government is asking for public comments on whether banks should be able to deny you from buying legal goods at their own whim (i.e. how they're cracking down on art) Tell them you don't want to be told how to spend your money www.federalreserve.gov/apps/proposa...

Emilie Tronche ("Samuel") directed "Ça pik un peu quand même", a music video for French-Korean singer Miki. Full MV >> www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1At...