worth your time

perfect

“Nobody was hit harder than the suckers who filled their tanks mere hours before the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon caused the price of a barrel of crude to plunge 10%,” said Georgetown University economics professor Elizabeth Murphy

I’ve been drunk but never “call the breaching team” drunk

oh. super

Jesus swept

Sad, you see what I did there?

Hegseth: "Our press are just like these Pharisees. Your politically motivated animus for President Trump nearly completely blinds you from the brilliance of our American warriors."

Sad, you see what I did there?

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong https://theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-gong/

NEW: Virginia just passed a law to join the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, giving it 222 of 270 electoral votes needed to activate. This map and spreadsheet show which states could join to activate it by 2028 depending on the outcome of the 2026 elections docs.google.com/spreadsheets...

too bad there’s nothing in the Constitution that completely negates this law—glaring oversight by Founding Fathers

Also, "woke" in the now-common white supremacist appropriated vernacular just means "I'm a bigoted and/or complacent piece of shit, and every reminder of the vastness of human diversity—up to and including simple basic acts of human decency—confront me with my moral failing, causing me to lash out."

For all those still feeling the moon joy—Artemis II was brought to you by public schools and publicly funded science. Copy that! 👩‍🚀🚀💕 *All four astronauts went to public schools!

"when you're done touching grass, how about a little appreciation for the dedication of a hard-working regular Door Dasher doing a regular delivery of McDonald's food to DC all the way from Arkansas?"

"He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send him Matthew 5:9. That's the Chicago Pope way."

learning today that a lot of you didn’t collect Eastern European stamps as a kid

my grad school alma mater covering itself in shame

This is a reminder to Americans that others have endured far worse and still kept fighting bsky.app/profile/adam...

no one is doing it like jd vance, a loser across three continents in a single weekend

Kerry: I was part of the any number of conversations with Netanyahu. Psaki: Pitching the US strike Iran? Kerry: Yes, he wanted us to strike. He came to President Obama. He made a presentation to ask to strike. President Obama refused. President Biden refused. President Bush refused.

FREEDOM!

Happy 8th anniversary to the tweet that changed us forever. Look at this absolute unit.

PERFECT

Helen Andrews seems to have a dropped-on-her-head quality about her thinking

PERFECT

FINALLY proof!

PERFECT

worse even than you thought--I wonder how the parents of the 13 dead American servicemen feel now

dude has NO IDEA what he's talking about vis a vis college demographics

left out "China strengthened" but . . . yep

The secret to negotiating with Trump on many issues is that he is less concerned with actually winning than with the appearance of winning – creates a lot of flexibility to adopt terms the other side will agree with!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I met a traveler from an antique land, who said: The president of the United States has threatened. To destroy a Civilization, how does an investor process that? Is it a bigger upside risk? Or is it a bigger downside risk?

Things fall apart, the center cannot hold, the blood-dimmed tide is loosed and everywhere we could be looking at gas going to $5 a gallon which might impact supply,

Checking in on the status of the U.S. government:

PERFECT

Find your rep to contact here. It might make you feel a scintilla better: www.senate.gov www.house.gov/representati...

seems, um, apposite

no one likes a showoff

Trump ranting about the war he's waging on the people of Iran while standing next to the Easter Bunny is going to be one of those videos I think about for a long time.

Blockheads always be stealing mastodons

Once again, Snake Plisken is on point.

So pro-life means jailing women who miscarry but shrugging when the deranged president says “a whole civilization will die tonight.” Do I have that right?

It’s giving Jonestown.