Funniest unfunny person ever

hm no they didn't

hmm

I forever remain convinced that this is the exact moment Sage Steele became The Joker.

Is that where Moon Pies are made?

That’s a campaign ad right there

Hell yeah I’m going to the big show on Saturday. Oh you didn’t mean Ryan Davis & the Roadhouse Band at Richmond Music Hall?

Was just thinking this morning that it feels like an easy one for them to buy some cred with.

There's too much bullshit in the world now for me to even give cursory laughs to the brands having fun with April Fool's Day.

I wouldn't log into X with your phone.

My beloved bad baseball team, just a couple years removed from a stretch of trying to play first basemen in right field, is trying to play a second baseman in center field. The results are similar.

The first thing I do with the Immaculate Grid is try to find a spot for Dikembe Mutombo. The second is try to find one for UVa guys.

If they’re driving like idiots (no protective gear, doing that thing where they zip between lanes and cars that feels really irresponsible in the age of distracted driving) I’m good thanks.

if you don’t like the process of writing then don’t be a fucking writer, it’s not that complicated

if we're gonna start considering constitutional amendments based on when and why we think they were drafted can I suggest some enterprising lawyer take another whack at the second?

On this date in 1999, Fabio collided with a Canadian goose while on a rollercoaster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA.

hell yeah

Sometimes DMB songs are too long, it's true. You get to be too DMB ADD.

Listening to the Henry Clay People, a really good band that time has left behind.

Man alive, it feels like every time I see JCK's name post-Grantland, he's saying something that makes me think less of him.

Dick Motta come coach the Bulls.

i've yet to see evidence that this man is anything other than the fucking coolest to ever do it

if karoline leavitt was actually concerned with things that made her look ugly she would quit her job

White Sox Legend Michael Soroka!

Reminding myself that game four of an 162 game season is not a must win.

Quick emotional rollercoaster on Sean Tubbs's "Charlottesville to close Downtown Mall crossings for ten weeks starting Wednesday" headline. But 10 weeks is better than no weeks.

Once again, the stock market is not "the economy;" it's a mood ring for the plutocracy

Cheekface turn down AT&T commercial over ICE ties

Is Coach K going to pull a 2005-06 Pat Riley on Scheyer?

Trying not to overreact to a garbage first series from the Sox.

I started feeling good about this one too early.

Why does the media continue to use the word "Millennial" as code for "young person"? That's not what it means. It's literally in the name. A Millennial is someone at least a thousand years old.

Munetaka Murakami is the 4th player in MLB history to homer in each of his first 3 career games 🎥: @mlb

"The White Sox are tired of only hitting solo shots" - Colson Montgomery, apparently

The movie “Yesterday” but it’s a world where Korn never existed and the only guy who remembers them just lives a normal happy life and it’s called “Oombak Ba Ooombagh Bageena”

this is turning out to be one of the onion's all-time classics

This isn’t news: I know he’s associated with Georgetown and Philly, but he’s from Newport Ne—oh.

They're 0-2, but the Sox are off to a good start.

I also love baseball

Completely misread this and for a second thought this meant the tent man was Bob Woodward.

Absolutely not enough of a dickhead to be persnickety about mass protests of the current administration. You oppose it and want to yell at cars for a while? Good on you for it. If nothing else, it’s good to see that many people still have the energy.

West Wing walk and talk that ends with the big hand from Jackass

This is a crazy thing to feel like you need to say about Rick Pitino, but people forget that he's a legendary coach.

It rained torrentially the entire weekend I visited Appalachian State and at the least, we would have had a much better time on the visit if it hadn't.

This is where in the movie, he gets up, rubs his eyes, sends his assault victims a big chunk of his career earnings and yells trans rights into the camera.