it's a Mastodon Morning™

Time to go for a run that is almost guaranteed to suck.

Feels impossible to convey to anyone under 35 or so how SI’s whole thing for decades was “we have the very best sportswriting.” That was the brand. Three generations of kids like me grew up with SI as the inspiration for our careers and as the dream job we all aspired to.

I'd ask if there aren't enough authors trying to get work out there, but you have to pay authors. Imagining B&N will open more stores and institute AI to cut staffing too because that's how it works.

I’ve got a loaded gun on me

I bought a jersey at the end of last season — a questionable move for a man my age who goes to 1-2 games per season — and now I think this is somehow my fault.

This stretch in June might undo all of the good work.

WHITE WHALE HOLY GRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIL

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander is a great basketball player and deserves everything he's received, but he also hasn't captured my imagination or interest at all. That might be partially on me; who knows?

Mamdani: I cannot help but think of the words of our 40th president, Ronald Reagan. He famously said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are 'I'm from the govt & I'm here to help'" I think nine more terrifying words are actually, "I worked all day and can't feed my family"

The Shaggy Chestnut (2026)

Yeah baby

Pancakes. Eggs. Hash Brown. Grits. Toast. Fruit. Coffee. I would also be more than happy with Eggs, Biscuits & Gravy (if they've got a non-mammal gravy option), Grits, Fruit, Coffee

GIVEAWAY! Dead Weight is coming out next week and to celebrate I'm giving away two copies that have been personally bitten by Uggi and will be personally signed by me and shipped to the winners wherever they live! To enter just like and share this post and I'll select the winners on May 26th!

Considering leaving the Safelite scratch on my hood so Taco Bell doesn't upcharge me.

I know Death is a band but this is the most ominous YouTube video title I’ve ever seen

Stand aside, Jay Z, it is time for the @natalieweiner.bsky.social and @marissarmoss.bsky.social curated Super Bowl halftime show.

jesus christ do i have to do everything around here

shoutout to Pope Leo.

glad to not have to give up if the Sox go down three or four runs.

Channeling Edgar Quero hollering SOUTH SIDE into the reporter's mic.

Taking two out of three from a good crosstown rival feels pretty great.

unfurling a "white replacement" banner should get you permabanned from MLB stadiums

They should save weather like this for appropriate times and places like never and hell, respectively.

Five home runs tonight. Ball go far, team go good.

The Davis Martin: All Star train is gaining steam.

I know so many Cubs fans that I'm a little frustrated that the Sox looked like the '24 or '25 versions tonight.

I showed this to my 13-year-old and he said “that’s half a game! just buy a hotdog and rip it up.”

Lefty power strokes are the best.

Part of why I love my team.

No whey.

If I still ate beef hot dogs, I would crush this.

That's @jrfegan.soxmachine.com's read of a clubhouse that has been like this for a while, but now has a winning record to indicate that it's working.

Out: Simulated sex In: Intense emotional connections

this is the last photo on my parents' video birdfeeder before it was mysteriously destroyed we may never know what happened

They call the White Sox the cradle of baseball civilization.

The best local political reporting I read today came from Soxmachine, about some remarkably sophisticated maneuvering by future #WhiteSox owner Justin Ishbia. Super-impressive work putting this together @josh.soxmachine.com soxmachine.com/2026/05/just...

I cringe when I see Amazon attached to something even when it's not something I care about.

A little freaked out by how often my weekly volunteer thing seems to be coming up. The passage of time is a lot to wrestle with.

Drake only released three albums last night if you acknowledge them.

The Chicago White Sox have a winning record.

every one please vote for me to be the next james bond and if you are in line stay in line

There are so many more reasons why this line of thought is bad than there are to defend it.

The Golden Pony in Harrisonburg was a great small venue. It's closing, and that sucks.

I feel like there's probably not a lot of proof out there on this, but it's not unlikely that someone knows about LBJ, Clinton, and JFK, in that order.

She is who we thought she was but not what the honeymoon period of a relatively easy D win made us hope she’d be.

👍

this the shit I been up to

There should be a third factor of authentication where an armed guard comes to my location to verify that it’s really me entering the six-digit code.

If the White Sox win tonight, they’ll be .500 more than a quarter of the way through the season.