If somebody explained our relationship as a “Non-demi-curious-semi-binary-relationship” I have and will throw a table at your whole face.

Man live your best life. Fuck these people. Lol myself included. Cause I be talking shit but I don’t care.

@tuckertech.dev look at this shit here!

Chose you. Every time. Even when it hurts. Even when it’s difficult. Even when it’s family.

In a room full of ppl ur the only one around, and nothin in this world could ever bring us down open.spotify.com/track/3Djw4K...

Lmaooooooo I aint like them

I have told every person I have ever dated in the state of Florida that if they ever dared propose to me at Disney that I would fuck their dad. One guy thought I was kidding and I broke up with him for insisting he wanted to do that and then fucked his brother cause the dad was dead 😃

I worked with one and absolutely not

Top 3 boomer complaint for me. Why do you need my email. Why do i need an account. I don’t wanna download an app. Leave me alone!

Lmao thought you meant taking your bills out in a date. I’m not a serious adult 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh baby you are in for a RIDE

Ive gone from being in an office, fuckin around on spreadsheets to measuring units for carpet and dispatching whole teams to install.

I got my own tape measure for work now

I have 2 phones now and im already annoyed lmao

A heap of dick is HILARIOUS and im sure I've said it. #SonOfSumter

My comedy special drops today! Here are some links!!! apple.co/49rqAN0

Man didn’t ask any questions. Just said “lemme show you” 😂

Cerrome talmbout eating pussy under the covers and

I am my lockscreen 🤣🤣🤣 #SonOfSumter

I absolutely have been driving too fast to notice the cops #SonOfSumter

Alright let's get it #SonOfSumter

When I tell yall I been in the fuckin streets all day??? Chile...

Orange juice afterwards

Accurate

Starting over is never easy but it’s worth it ✨ Keep going. If your life depends on it, don’t wait! If you’re tired of feeling incomplete, then “complete” yourself. No one can save you, better than you can.

If you are someone who often falls into people-pleasing in any or all of your relationships, romantic or otherwise, I want to challenge you to love yourself as eagerly and thoroughly as you love others. This doesn't mean stop showing up for them. This means start showing up for yourself more.

Chile i smoked and forgot I did. Sitting here trying to figure out why I felt loopy 🤣🤣🤣

I feel like as a Gen X, going through crisis after crisis for 60 years, coupled with a latchkey and/or feral upbringing, I actually feel for the Millennials who were promised a better life, but don't have that tough outer shell to deal with it all that we had bred into us. O well.

Dressing. Absolutely a difference.

My "hear me outs" are simply ppl that dont fall into my normal category of attractiveness, not that they are in any way not socially attractive.

I really, really need to find (preferably covid conscious) housing for me and my two cats within the next 30 days. Chicago area, budget $800. Please let me know if you have leads!

Its not trickin when they deserve it.

French toast can go

I don't do "hear me out" cuz i ain't explaining shit. "I like det" means "i like det" and don't care who don't.

Corollary: You cannot forgive someone who does not seek forgiveness. If you do then it isn’t forgiveness, it’s permission.

Exercise that you didn't even get to finish your whole set. Just left mid bicep curl.

Oh this was my adulthood. Hate yall missed it...

They will pick the most agreed upon, conventionally attractive mf imaginable lmao.

It doesn't matter how many times I have to fight my way back, I'll will always make my way back to equilibrium. Unyielding strength in the face of adversity is a personal law I live by. Even when the adversity is myself. That being said, Let's get to work 🫡

I want teeth so white they try to touch Black women's hair without asking

I'm getting there at 6:45 and I'm leaving by 10 pm

I poured a LOT of gin in this glass honey lol

I have these lemon peel stuffed green olives and bitch.....

I told my Wife my idea for a really fatgirl snack the other day and I absolutely ordered the stuff to make it.

Im having a serious girl dinner today.

You become Gomez Addams or die trying

Sister you not beating the allegations