Not gonna hold you: This might mean you might be the 5th element. Do you own a multi-pass?

My god today

The only acceptable reaction tbh

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He was a movement by himself. 😭

Dudes really thought “You plus me equals better math“ was a cheat code 🤦🏾‍♀️

I don’t like when a man has his ankles out a lot. I prefer full length pants

🤣🤣🤣🤣 technically yes. This was his "attempt" to win me back after getting locked up for $34k in back child support for 2 kids he hadnt told me he even had. Needless to say it was a WRAP!

Choosing to have one foot fully bare while the other is ready to go with sock and shoe??? Makes my skin crawl lmao

He shaved my name in the side of his head in cursive and then handed me a "poem" that was a interpolation of Fabolous' "Make Me Better"

This is a little like my belief that men should always go pants first top second

I also got the ick from a man who didn't know what a caper was. He asked what I was cooking and when I got to the capers part, he replied, "as in robberies?"

This exactly! And he'd wait to tie them til the end, but did it the opposite way of how he put them on. Left sock Left shoe Right sock Right shoe Right tie Left tie

1. He argued me down that the state of Missouri was physically in the "deep south" based on the accent of Nelly. 2. He did not know what a green bell pepper was called. 3. He put his socks and shoes on in the incorrect order.

The way I laughed for hours and almost peed on myself the first time I saw this video 😭

I happily get to say "I don't know, my Wife is cooking" lmaooo

Once you’re married, you have to decide whether you want to play house or if you want to do the work. We chose to do the work, and that means choosing each other everyday, even when we’re not happy, because chasing happiness is always a setup for failure. Grown folks know this.

Cheating for 10+ years.....ok.

Yes we can lmaooo

Yall doing a lot today. Whew.

I ain't never letting Avi go. I don't eem know what pfp mean for real lololol

Areola prolly feel like a Scrub Daddy

It was bad enough that every time I showered, id think about how ppl dont wash their legs. Now I also think about how there's women outchea that dont lotion their boobs after a shower and I just....

When the flexibility returns >>>>>

Just saw the phrase “bumping pocketbooks til the change fell out” and yanno what, I feel so seen.

I can see it in your eyes… you’ve bitten people in fights before

Thats why I drink Wray & Nephew. Cause I stab people lmaooo

If you ever see me on here cussing somebody out, please know they started it.

People book vacations months and years in advance. And that lady asking about the fucking news like the people stranded knew 8 months ago what the fuck was going to happen yesterday.

That part

Having sex with your socks on as the person on the bottom in missionary is quite hilarious when you think about it.

I love a good garlicky green bean situation

That rib didn't fall, it escaped their grasp because that mf was STRIPPED.

Every time I think i used too much butter in something, im quickly reminded why restaurant food "tastes better" than what is cooked at home. Cause the eggs I made this morning were FIRE, and I absolutely used more butter than planned lmao

I see why niggas smoke and drink during times like these. Shiiiid. It's me...I'm niggas!

Its inappropriate to say, but WATTBA 🤣🤣🤣

I know it's about the coat but the shoes 🔥🔥🔥

You was signed to a nigga that signed to a nigga that said he was signed to THAT nigga....

I think I have messed up and shown my Wife how physically strong I really am lmaooo

What amazes me is how quickly people are losing either the confidence or the willingness to complete basic human tasks.

The asterisk is so accurate and true ♐️

Let's see if my installers show up early like they're supposed to.

I welcome January and the year 2026! It will bring positive energy, connection, love, enlightenment, inspiration, fresh starts, renewal, passion, joy, laughter, validation, adoration, recommitment, protection, prosperity, happiness, determination, growth, knowledge and good health. ✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️

Imagine if you treated your life like something you’re happy to inhabit and thus you put work into, as opposed to a place you woke up in like a NPC.

Body doubling for the win. I can literally get so much more done while on the phone bsing with my people lol

Real hot girl shit.