Used napkin #garbageclassics

sarah has been a really important friend of mine for years and could use your help!

If I forget to mute myself on a zoom call and people hear me asking Gary if he’s a special baby and/or a chunkmuffin, “que sera sera”

I need to put my posting energy into setting up and maintaining a shrimp tank

If you kill the part of yourself that values avoiding getting yelled at above all else, how do you avoid turning into Peter thiel

I'm ready.

I said I’d post hog when I hit 500. Here’s Pakora earlier tonight

Diaper brain is real and it can happen to you, too.

So I had a nice night until I was comparing notes with a friend later and mentioned that I’d appreciated someone I met tonight being unsolicitedly and strongly encouraging to me about something I want to do that not everyone thinks I should do (but that others do think I should do) and

A system of trading Gary access for a spot at formal hall has been devised

The Invention of the Praying Mantis (Oxford, 2014). A historical account of the forces and discourses through which the praying mantis became cool

Departmental drinks with people from boring but nice departments - calming

would that i were at the park playing bocce ball with the italian-descended distant family members who always brought bocce ball to family reunions, instead of at work

if i thought i could make a living proofreading i'd do that. it's fun

everything happens, for some reason

Goodnight

casio made an ai rat

Checking in on the self care bird app subreddit

Really fucked it with healthy eating today BUT I got some stuff done that had been stressing me out

'living in the country' really starting to compete with a lot more success against 'optimal social stimulation' in my head these days

got the phrase 'civic-minded' into a youth services grant application. it's 1955 and these beneficiaries are all interested in joining dad's rotary club when the time comes

cholesterol levels on fleek

"seven hours of curated chaos, feral rave, absurdist filth, punk theatre & vermin cabaret" this will be either really good or really annoying

I know there are many more deserving people in much more desperate situations needing help and things are tough for everyone now. I’m sorry to burden with my troubles and I’m grateful for any help you can give. venmo: @AudenH cashapp: $AudenH PayPal: [email protected]

here's one of my periodic evo psych takes: there should be non-sexual group grooming sessions or one on one grooming partner exchanges to help combat touch starvation and social isolation. most people don't have insects to be removed, so this could be massage and skincare type stuff

it's like hogadilly circus around here

just remembered the time i went w my dad to lunch w a friend of his who'd moved to NYC many years prior. he did the cheek kissing thing and i hadn't been out of indiana much so i didn't know if he was creeping on me or what. but i'd seen just enough of this in films to eventually decide probably not

anyone know if there's a fetish for people who can move their ears? i need money

cat astrologist and therapist specialising in astrosomatic metaphor

some contactees might genuinely be in touch with something else, but how are people still taking their prophecies at face value in 2025. come on man

I remember pouring you a glass at a friend’s house in SF after another mutual friend’s wedding in 17’. I was decanting another, you didn’t want to wait “honey badger drinks when he wants”🤣. I made the clutch move of ordering us pizza at 1am…

As implausible as it sounds, I kind of feel like there’s nowhere else in the country that can match the concentration of freaks (positive connotation) available here. London yes but not so concentrated. Same for Manchester. Cambridge maybe

I’ve finished my week of blood pressure readings and not to brag, but it looks like I can add isolated diastolic hypertension to my achievements

I need a pet psychic to communicate to Gary that I love it when he wants to help me use the computer, but that sitting calmly nearby is much more helpful than walking back and forth across the keyboard

any tips for working with people with personality problems

getting the xmas cards bought and signed. thank you notes out. providing representation in celebration event plans. i perform gender perfectly in these contexts. i will even make sure your mom's bday present has a nice ribbon on it

It’s such an honour when an animal looks at me

white-breasted nuthatch foraging along a ponderosa trunk 🪶

16-year-old me at the pharmacy looking for the cough syrup that didn't have acetaminophen in it so i could robotrip

Let’s hear your “here kitty kitty” yodels

there could be multiple hogs out there right now

not to get too political but look at this

something funny happened which is i was invited to a 30th bday and it came out that this is the age bday girl thought i was. the other person in the room is 26 and said she thought i was her age, which i rly don't believe, but in any case we've all known each other about 4 years (grad school) lol

tbh i could still use someone to teach me how to do hair

when he was around and chatting jesus said even he didn't know when the rapture would be. was he going to be told in advance at all, or does he find out when everyone else does?

in a subcultural context london is actually so small. everyone knows the most dedicated/frequently seen characters and has probably also been to their houses

Very tired ✅ Headache activated ✅ Kind of ill ✅ Lots of work to do before bed ✅