[first day as a shepherd] boss: where are you going? me: [pointing] star boss: what? why me: [shrugging] baby

Dave? Dave Brooks? The intern-marrier?

Day Drinking with Sabrina Carpenter, save me

if you add some arsenic this is just the plot of Strong Poison (1930)

the volunteer treasurer of the local food pantry has been super-responsive as she helps me figure out a weird donation issue, which in turn has shamed me into replying to overdue emails at my actual W-2 job I get paid for. It's a holiday miracle

stray thoughts on the Diddy doc: 1) natural-born nerds who invest that much effort in being cool are almost always sociopaths 2) “monster goes to prison for 1 Olympic cycle on reduced charges” counts as a happy ending at present 3) 50 is an investigative reporter? no wonder he got shot 9 times

well now I am worried about Conan

how's the ERP implementation going, you ask? it's not even noon on Monday and I'm already replying to emails with this www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_qk...

Had to track down the Rob Reiner cameo on 30 Rock.

one of the Reinventors tried to PTO-shame my team last week and it made me so mad that I went to the department holiday party so I could complain about it in-person to people

watching Absolutely Fabulous at the cat toy crochet factory tonight. Edina Monsoon would have had an amazing Instagram account

has anyone written a Bloomberg piece or similar about why Poshmark sucks now? Trying to clean out my closet is so much more excruciating than it was 10 years ago

holiday crafting update: finally made a cat toy that actually resembles a cat toy

best part about Lando winning WDC is his mom running around afterwards hugging people in her pigtails and giant papaya caftan #abudhabiGP

why is Katy Perry at the Abu Dhabi GP? Isn’t she supposed to be in space or Canada?

December 2005: stressed about applying to grad school, I take up crocheting & watch a lot of America’s Next Top Model on other people’s couches December 2025: stressed about launching Workday, I take up crocheting & watch a lot of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on other people’s couches

after 2+ years as a client I think “clinically depressed Big 10 graduates” is way more accurate

TPUSA is an organized faculty harassment network and every university administrator who is good at their job should be trying to remove the organization from their campus. If I was a professor I would be terrified of any student who is a member because they are trying to get me fired for wrongthink.

Sharl is just texting behind the wheel and browsing Pinterest boards for groomsmen at this point

you could write an entire I/O psych dissertation on what went wrong at McLaren this year, my god

having middle-manager sympathy pangs for Tom Stallard #qatarGP

Martin Brundle is running down all the hot old men on the grid before #qatarGP and for this I thank him

if you get banned from the Silhouette you might as well just drop out of BU. Not even John Silber’s ghost wants you around

Saturday morning so far: took 2 wrong turns coming out of rotaries, knocked over my water bottle in yoga class, knocked over my cold brew at City Feed, then took another wrong turn coming out of a different rotary on my way home. At least my upward-facing-dog form is improving?

COOL AUNT BULLETIN the good news: my teenage nieces are making college tour noises and asked me to take them to Snowport next month the bad news: if they actually come to school down here I’m gonna have to get used to doing Zoomer shit in neighborhoods where parking costs $42

Me to my coworker: I gotta go, I have to pick up the fancy bread for Thanksgiving My coworker: haha, that’s such a cat lady thing. (hoists a giant tabby into frame) …I should go pick up the fancy cheese

A sovereign citizen's car in the wild, well, at the South Bay Mall www.universalhub.com/2025/soverei... #Boston #Dorchester #TravelingVsDriving

me: [reviewing very elaborate american girl doll trademark hypo with class] student: professor, I’m sorry but you made an error & I feel obligated to let you know before we go further me (nervous): I did? what was it? student (gravely): you mixed up felicity & kirsten

You know how there are some historical reenactment museum areas where you can go and see people dressed old timey churning butter and making horseshoes? There should be one that's a bar and kids can go listen to reenactors complain about their city's sports teams from different decades

watching Ruth Buscombe gradually understand *why* her old boss was being a Gallic gossip gremlin live on F1TV was also entertaining

I have nothing constructive to say about the Vegas GP aside from idly wondering who told Mr Beyoncé those lil Ringo Starr sunglasses were a good idea

I guess I heard about original sin I heard the dudes blamed the chick I heard the chick blamed the snake And I heard they were naked when they got busted

BEYONCÉ DOING A HOT LAP WITH LEWIS HAMILTON I REPEAT BEYONCÉ DOING A HOT LAP WITH LEWIS HAMILTON

coven is watching A Very Jonas Christmas Movie and I want to know what their therapists think about this

last weekend in Vegas I convinced Nicole to start watching Drive To Survive (don’t care if it’s not real, it’s the perfect F1 entry point for people who went to Bravocon) and she picked up on the overall themes real fast

how's the implementation going, you ask?

my number-one professional Achilles' heel is that I will join basically any project I'm invited to be on, to the point of being constantly double-booked and turning my calendar into a Jenga puzzle. This is almost entirely because I am the nosiest person on Earth and I just like *knowing shit*

Peter Coyote is making a whole damn meal out of “Von Steuben” while narrating The Real Prussians Of Valley Forge on PBS

Dickie Barrett and Ken Casey are the Goofus and Gallant, respectively, of loud Boston white guys

hey, the Globe may be platforming Hanania, but they also have to publish their semi-annual explanation of Harvard tenure protections at the same time so you can only imagine the kind of stress they are under

“Did you gamble away all my Churu money??”

this irritates me on behalf of Lorne Michaels and David Chase, neither of whom appear in the Epstein files like this jumped-up conjurer

Kenan is the poster child for us Xennials who found a steady job with full benefits in the ‘00s and has clung to it for dear life ever since

lol last night was a rerun

I walked nearly 7 miles around Vegas yesterday, half of it in high-heeled boots, which means I’ve spent today mostly horizontal in the hotel spa 🧖‍♀️

Someone at this group dinner at Medieval Times asked me who my favorite Disney villain was. I haven’t seen a Disney movie in years so I panicked and said “Nick Jonas”

inshallah they yank this limey's student visa

As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history. Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX

if you mention your houseman then you’d better be referring to your copy of the Collected Poems or else

Kendrick, Joyce Carol Oates, Menswear Guy, and Isaac Chotiner are the Voltron of People You Don't Want Focusing on You