clown comic [originally posted 5/4/25]

nintendo direct scriptwriter having sex for the first time: This rod seems a little flaccid. Let's try stimulating it a little. [BOIOIOING] ...Woah! It sprung right up! It looks like with these new "stimulating" abilities, you can carry out all kinds of sexual favours.

I gave up on giving this one a title

"yeah babe, no, I'm coming to bed, I just wanna finish this podcast ep"

moving up in the world

I like that she's dressed like a command and conquer fmv cutscene character

me: I will miss the way Christmas looks in Buffalo me seeing this: well. okay. maybe not.

"you're a man" ad hominem "you were born a boy" sunk cost fallacy "you're amab" false dichotomy "you have xy chromosomes" false equivalence "trans people are mentally ill" non sequitur "changing your sex isn't possible" skill issue

I am but a simple woman who only wants one thing: T4T Tokimeki Memorial

Found these two scripts from when I was auditioning for bake-off AU. The audition process was write four scripts for openers, two scripts for introducing bakes, improv a bench visit and then deliver star baker/baker going home news. Having written all that out - man that was a weird amount of work

(Ditto appears on screen with the text "the transform Pokemon") It should be the transfemme Pokemon. (Two seconds later) OKAY

It's honestly so cool that in Jeanne D'Arc (PSP) they show you this guy in the opening cutscene and then reveal about thirty seconds later in the cutscene that, surprise, he's actually evil. Could never have seen this coming.

Ok. I'm ready for the next #dbd cosmetic contest. #dbdfanart

Only one episode so far but I do think this is a frontrunner for my new favorite podcast about video games

this cures what ails me every time

my dreams when my wife does not share a bed with me: stressful, tense reliving of my childhood trauma my dreams when my wife does share a bed with me: a letter from my retired childhood dentist has arrived. it says "good job for taking care of your permanent teeth. i'm proud of you. it's not easy."

Um Lammy Sabbath

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Merry Christmas babe, I got you the buzzsaw that goes the long way table from James Bond. We're going to fuck on it

Call me Matrix the way I Nebuchadnezzar (nebyu kaid ness her)

you can find me in the club (discord server) bottle (taco bell cup) full (half full) of bub (baja blast zero sugar)

Is anyone going to volunteer to take the Red Robin fries up the ass or must they be doomed to be forever bottomless

If you like my wild and crazy posts, my friend Booky is a truly deranged and jokerfied poster…………….. follow her

*playing Crash 2* huh the way Cortex is lying to and using Crash really reminds me of how the Democratic Party convinced Joe Biden to step down “for his own good” against the wishes of the honest voters (Coco). Aku Aku represents how Halloween comes right before election day (masks and being racist)

I'm pretty sure all this bad shit that keeps happening is because I ate one more lindt lindor truffle (blue) than I promised on news years eve 2006 and for that everyone I have no regrets enjoy your shitty lives

my therapist: well you certaintly weren't a living weapon made of pure light when that girl nonconsenually groped you at the party me: fuck you darren

*pretending not to know about anime* oh is that the robot bear from uhhhhhhh Dragon Tampon?

happy @junlper.bsky.social day also juniper was an NYT crosswords answer recently, just like Agar and some other trans twitter names. sansculottid.es/today by @worstwizard.online

All of my followers are getting unfairly purged *just because* they are soulless pornography bots mass-following everyone. Is this justice? Since when was violating the TOS a bannable offense?

My girl | My goal

Got the one endorsement I needed, running for state senate in Ohio (I do not live in Ohio)

"The idea of smoking in an airplane is science fiction. It’s so insane to think about a world where you’re in a pressurized tube in the sky, and you’re like, ‘I need to light a cigarette right now.’" -Cat's Eye

She’s the Solid Snake of anxiety disorders

Persona Fuuka………

Are they…you know…a friend of Blåhaj?

Reskeet if trans girls who can’t transition or take HRT are still girls

she got a rifled pussy for more accurate squirting

Higurashi Satoko

I've been trying to do a mixtape but like literally on a tape and trying to get it down to 90 minutes and also 45 minutes per side is really hard! They started as exclusively sapphic love songs and then queer love songs and now it's just everything i like counts as queer by virtue of me liking it

This is old but it was my pinned post on Twitter because I'm proud of it; I wrote an essay about Serial Experiments Lain and my experience of being transgender for a zine themed around the idea of online life as real life. I wanna do more stuff like this soon!!

The Courier: Come with me. I need to talk to you, over by the dinosaur

she succ me silly

I co-wrote a cookbook for depressed people and other folks with zero spoons, only knives. It's not meant to be gourmet cooking so much as a survival guide for late stage capitalism. And you can get it for free!