What if there was like a dog Jesus that we never heard about cause we not dogs?

Love my new @miski.bsky.social matt!

The bus driver called me a passenger princess :/

they don't make movies about weird freek in Beverly Hills anymore

Petition to rename Robin to "Batman Jr."

The frenemy of my frenemy is my frenemy

my ultimate goal is to make the first visual novel with a combo meter

Do you let him take you into the House of Blues? Yes or no

Strip poker millionaire walking in like big jacket snoopy

*trying to compliment the detail in a piece of art* It's like they had a fetish for everything!

My psychiatrist keeps prescribing me the bags of random pills you can buy at gas stations

must of been hard to be depressed cowboy, laying face down in a saloon listening to the same player piano song over and over

They're really stretching for this hour long Direct

do you think Air Bud got CTE?

Turtles are crazy, real nursery rhyme ass animal

"Crash Bandicoot-ing it" is when you wear pants and no shirt

Why did they make Hallow Knigth tall???

*Guy scared of being eaten by a cannibal*: Please, have a heart! *Cannibal licking their chops*: Don't mind if I do :)

People assume the Hollow Knight characters are small due to being bugs, but on average they're the same height as a mid-sized sedan

*insecure guy that has to pee* Can I use the Big Man's Room?

blueskyrim

i think it would bring the country together if trump and biden died holding each others hands

Went to the grocery store today #hashtag winning

just found out a lot of my highschool friends are in a Scooby-Doo style mystery gang, yeah apparently my cat is their scooby doo

Saw a big rabbit and my only thought was "Wow, nature is so bad ass'

Saw someone being mean to a cow this morning and it basically ruined my whole day

Flowers for Algernon but the guy becomes really woke then slowly more and more racist

Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet

I had a cavity and instead of removing the tooth they hammered it down until it was flush with the gum. I don't know why they did that. It hurt a lot.

I went to open a can of peanuts and instead snakes sprang out. Just another example of enshittification

holding the fork up so it can see what the food's doing in the microwave

Been getting into DAPs and FLACs and IEMs because I'm STUPID

getting in trouble for calling a novel a "post"

*Scooby Doo Unmasking Voice* "Leftist Joe Rogan?!"

the ad should of been for Subway and said "Sydney Sweeny's got big jeans"

*reads* Our cafe has over 100 maids! *thinks* that place must be really dirty

they age wiskey now in the barrel from donkey kong with the arrow on it

when their done barber shops should sweep up all your hair onto a big scale and tell you how much it weighs

*emerging from a cryo-chamber in the year 2050* scientist: Everyone you know and love is dead. me: In just 25 years? scientist rolling his eyes: FINE, some of the people you know and love are dead.

*Playing Mario Galaxy* "A flat earther could never have this much fun!"

*Dracula honking the car horn* "Come on, we're burning moonlight!"

My goal is to be able to afford to get haircuts often enough that nobody says "Oh, somebody got a haircut!" after everytime I get one

Popular Mechanics (1995)

Mozart would of loved to make skits between the songs on his albums

if you keep being mean to me I'm going to do horrible things to you with the Free Transform Tool