thinking about my dad getting upset that “pride days” aren’t on the calendar. too hard to explain to him every city does a different pride weekend. can someone make my dad a calendar of each city’s pride celebration so he can honor them accordingly

gus did great besides seeing a tortoise in the waiting room which was extremely disturbing for him

gus is going to the vet for his annual checkup today everyone say good luck gus!!!

mezcal tastes like ham

every time i open facebook i am presented with 5-10 ex racehorses that are being sold for the low price of 3500 us dollars and my longterm financial stability

if you’re feeling sad or depressed may i suggest listening to this song minimum 10 times in a row

ranch for poorly drawn horses

just checking in to say it’s been a year of riding again consistently and i did a baby jump course during my lesson yesterday 😊

suffering from acute WGIADS (WOR$T GIRL IN AMERICA Derangement Syndrome)

Fun fact, most catholics get yelled at by the pope exactly zero times in their whole lives but Censures Georg here has managed it like five times in six years

got a blister on my finger from keeping this old man from running us into the rail but it’s good to be back

you like my hair my ripped up jeans you like THE BAD GIRL I GOT IN ME she’s on your mind like all the time but i got a TATTOO FOR US LAST WEEK

happy opening day to the baltimore orioles

bread for breakfast

y’all ever think about how hot natalie imbruglia was in her music video for TORN?

at our corner bar yesterday a woman tried to order an espresso martini. our friend working was like sry we don’t have an espresso machine. “you don’t have coffee vodka?” no. “ok. well do you have rumchata?” hilarious, i’m obsessed with her energy

karen how was brazil? oh i had the best time - there were so many happy dogs

deplaning in brazil is a special kind of hell it’s really cutthroat in here. let me get my bag!

after traveling together for two weeks trey and i now share one brain cell

Reskeeting with alt text written by @finalgirlboss.bsky.social bc everyone needs to be able to appreciate this image that made me cackle A+ job meeting people where they are, like oh I get it now lmao and having grown up in Maryland, I am delighted

i should move to the sea

more american beaches should adopt the brazilian way. i don’t know why every american household needs their own beach chairs and umbrellas. it is contrary to our prioritization of ease. however, a tommy bahama beach chair would blow the mind of an average brazilian

man is there anything better than eating fried shrimp by the ocean

came to a record shop in salvador bahia thats just some guys garage. he has a black chow chow named priscilla. he put our water in a mini fridge

you're all worried about gas prices when you should be worried about ass prices

it pays to be sweet and nice bc everyone keeps giving us free drinks and they don’t even know it’s our honeymoon!

at the beach here i am no better than a man 😔

uber driver said i pronounce “boa noite” and “todo bem” perfectly. now just need to learn every other portuguese word

the guy that babysat the sorting machine at the post office. when they got a new machine he retired instead of learning it

my favorite thing in brazil is when they ask us something and we think we ask for the check and nod but instead they bring us two more beers

nice

trey is like one of those truffle dogs but instead he sniffs out kebab spots everywhere he goes

went to a shopping mall that’s just 12 floors of bikinis

me on vacation in brazil (very wise), laughing at the people on vacation in dubai (very dumb): haha

rio de janeiro 💗

people in brazil apparently shower a lot and tbh i get it. im at 2 a day minimum

the record store has chairs for tired wives to sit in while their husbands contemplate putting us into bankruptcy

trey has been trying to go to this record store by where we are staying for 2 days and each time the door is locked and there’s a sign that says we are open! and a whatsapp number so you text the number and the guy answers at his leisure an hour later like “i’m here!”

shoutout to the two nuns in the mall in botafogo, rio carrying a bag from the crocs store

there are subways everywhere for those with eyes to see

went to a samba tonight and must reiterate this

the usa just doesn’t have The Juice im sorry

😊

my dad asked me if our honeymoon was all inclusive. i think this whole time he was picturing sandals jamaica but in brazil.

my dad asked me if our honeymoon was all inclusive. i think this whole time he was picturing sandals jamaica but in brazil.

✅ passport ✅ e-visa ✅ boarding pass time 2 goooo 🇧🇷

carnaval is over so marina sena is posting about…. naruto????

my job is so unserious. last week i was on a zoom call and i watched a guy light a cigarette on camera. indoors!

encountered a gaggle of gen z girls at a party last weekend. they are so precious. one of them kept calling me “slay bob.”

in the spirit of the year of the horse, if i get a tummy ache this year i’ll just die