Maybe all these comedians aren’t going to Riyadh *in spite* of the human rights abuses? Maybe they’re going because they just want to be able to do all their shitty anti-trans material in a place that’s nicer than a strip mall in Little Rock?

Personally, I have always disliked stuff that sucks. And yet, they keep making it

KASH PATEL: you falsify that evidence with messages that are anti-ICE in nature yet? LOW LEVEL FBI AGENT: sure did, boss. wrote the words "ANTI-ICE" on them nice and big, just like you asked KASH PATEL: what

Just found out my mom has been taking fistfuls of Tylenol since she heard it might give me autism

“Striving to leave the world a better place than I found it,” I think proudly as I make sure the door to the Hungry Man cooler shuts all the way.

New Music

“Shhh… You’ve gotta hear this guitar part.”

Love this band so much

For anyone wondering where in the disaster we find ourselves…

“Look Mark, I realize we’re living through an authoritarian coup, but that’s no excuse for falling short on deliverables.”

Fingerman: "Not so funny now is it, funny man" Jimmy Fallon: [breaks]

The 90s; “We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war….“ The 2020s: “We’re sorry for complaining. Can we have our spiritual war back please?”

Goodbye Hulu

Sometimes I’ll go a couple months without wearing my retainer cause my whole deal is being a Cenobite to myself

Shoutout Ezra Klein

…look, all I’m saying is that we’ve never seen Mystikal and Mr Bighead in the same place at once

One more adderall then I’ll get to work

In retrospect, sweatpants may have been too optimistic

Why is Alex Jones turning into Lars from one of those Futurama movies?

“Bad take Bill” at it again

Sorry guys, I think I’m just gonna have to stop being a depressed goblin next weekend instead

Friendship isn’t my thing I guess

this is the worst september 11th ever

MAGA 3 days ago: Chicago is about to find out the meaning of WAR MAGA today: the left needs to stop condoning violence

if charlie kirk didn't get shot the right wing would be equally and as consequentially as mad about a tv commercial or restaurant logo or something else, they're gonna do what they're gonna do regardless

Fascism and authoritarianism creates extremism, violence, and desperation. Calling for nonviolence is like a call for thoughts and prayers. More needs to be done to reverse the course the United States is navigating and prevent further escalation.

Condemning political violence is the democratic party’s “thoughts and prayers”

There are lots of ways to stand up right now, even if you can’t be on the front lines of protest. Hope you’ll join us for this free webinar a week from today.

Just something to think about with all those tanks heading to Washington this week

This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time.

We all may have been a little too quick to judge those kids who used to go around saying they were born in the wrong time period

Eyewitnesses report that McConnell’s pants “fell down a little” exposing a large portion of his “lily white ass.” Another source close to the matter noted a high pitched fart or “squeaker” emerging from the Kentucky Senator’s backside.

Ahh don’t mind this. Just saving a link I want to send to some maga family members when they finally wake up

Just realised that "Gene Hackman" is the exact name that Hideo Kojima would give a biochemist

First eggs, now coffee. What does Trump have against him?

Hate to say it but I’m really looking forward to dry Jan being over. I could really use a shower

"nice fart, idiot. who did it? Your butt?"

Do it.

Today’s mantra: I might not be able to control how many dumb shits there are out there. But I can control how many dumb shits I get into arguments with.

You pedal as fast as you can but when you look back, it’s always closer than before. Beads of sweat collect in the folds of your gut as the burger clown closes in. It cannot be killed with conventional exercise equipment...

One day a few years from now, kids won’t believe us when we tell them that we actually got rid of commercials for a few years

Don’t know how I feel about how easy it is these days for Bluesky posts to sound like dustbowl era folk songs

Bombshell new report says that scientists predict 2025 will be the most sweatpants appropriate year on record.

The dream of the 90s is alive at Facebook

So far my new Simpsons show is doing okay! I've made four, if they do well enough we'll make more and potentially expand the format. I would love nothing more than for the next leg of my journey to be as a Simpsons pundit. Please share! www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2co...

Sometimes I wonder where my worldview came from. Given the ugly nihilism of the late 90s when I became a teenager, I would expect my personality to be much more right wing. To be honest, it might have been if it weren’t for some good friends and some good media.

Republican Voters

Jason Bateman doesn’t strike me as a guy who would kill somebody on purpose but he would definitely kill several more people to stop anybody from finding out about the first one