Had a lovely meal at a nearby Thai restaurant that took maybe 90 minutes and a young woman at a nearby table talked the ENTIRE TIME on subjects such as: • engineering school • how smart/rational she is • human zoos • indoor golf • "you don't have to be Amish, it's dumb" • her "money jar"

Pursuant to my last email

Pursuant to my last email

Don't suspend Patton Oswalt from Bluesky for making a joke about a pedophile-defender. Suspend Patton Oswalt by his thumbs in a "Far Side"-esque dungeon for being a shithead leftist-blaming "got mine" lib.

"How Did This Get Laid?", a podcast by Paul Sheer's kids pondering the extremely fortunate circumstances of their conception

New Katamari game with a time travel narrative and limited-use powerups?

one thing we need to do as a society is treat all fraud or theft over $100 million or so as a potential capital crime, with the possibility of execution for offenders.

Every famous cooking persona: "Woooow, look at that [hhaauugmmachhchchaaslsorrrrrpamlckmlcmkasppos] and it tastes just as good as it looks" Me: "Woooow, look at that [blissful silence] and it tastes just as good as it looks."

A professional cooking channel where I guide you through making fun, inventive meals but edit out all the mouth noises. No lip smacking, no forks scraping on teeth, no lip-licking, no chewing, no crunching.

New Katamari game with a time travel narrative and limited-use powerups?

Q: well now 007, that floopty goofle gadget i gave you between scenes sure fooled the bad guys into thinking you were dead. Bond [played by Matt Berry]: THANK GOD. IT ALSO LETS ME ABANDON MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER GUILT FREE, RESUMING MY CADDISH WAYSSSSSSuuuhhhhhhh

Here is my pitch for how to solve the "James Bond died in the last movie" problem: Stop making James Bond movies. They haven't been consistently good in like 40 years. Alternatively, do literally anything you want. James Bond movies haven't been consistently good in like 40 years.

I havent taken many pics of the bunny boys lately, but they are doing well and adjusting to their new home

The "opening monologue from Grizzly Man" or "tech CEO statement" is a legitimate guessing game.

Crying laughing over this FUCKING PERFECT observation. Here, for you youngsters:

Here is my pitch for how to solve the "James Bond died in the last movie" problem: Stop making James Bond movies. They haven't been consistently good in like 40 years. Alternatively, do literally anything you want. James Bond movies haven't been consistently good in like 40 years.

It is both art and science. The slightest change in ambient temperature or humidity can affect your grind and extraction. Sometimes I'd spend 10 or 15 minutes fine tuning everything before opening, pulling (and sipping) test shot after test shot

I havent taken many pics of the bunny boys lately, but they are doing well and adjusting to their new home

Every day I wake up with Chuck Schumer's "aw shucks, I'm fucking useless" face with his glasses on the tip of his nose and his weird marionette gestures acting as vanguard for basic human decency is an offense. Every leader we have should be removed from power, investigated, and punished.

my comedy special, Demi Adejuyigbe Is Going To Do One (1) Backflip, drops November 19th on @dropout.tv.

First fall as a homeowner and all I have to say is: Leaves. What a bunch of bastards.

FRANKENSTEIN is on NETFLIX but- still in many theatres- please consult your local listings and choose your watch/rewatch preference!

Seared scallops and truffle risotto 🤤

She was not amused.

We got new carpet in the living room a month ago and Womanfrenjensenden had been anxious about the dog tracking muf or horking on it. The fake vomit I ordered arrives today.

Don't make me call the snowplow on YOU, Renner

Good morning. Thursday morning.

Fate [whispering]: you cannot withstand the storm Some guy who drives an oversized pickup exclusively within the city limits [whispering back]: i am the storm Me [sidling up to both of them, whispering]: hey guys, what are we whispering about?

Rude? Or awesome?

Boy it would be sad and ironic if the person who made the video attacking these dipshit was also a balding, bearded, soft-faced toxic white grifter weirdo

If they still go to the secret hideaway, this is a George Costanza move [laudatory]

You were a vicious bastard Dick Cheney and, uh, I'm glad you're dead. Rest in piss and burn in hell, babydoll

I regret to inform you this show is back for a second season with "more surprise Harry Potter guests", which I assume means Seamus Finnegan and the first Lavender Brown

holy shit how do I turn this off

October 31st November 1st

Hey, so supporting this economy and the oligarchs sucks, especially for Christmas. If I set up a twitch stream to teach you all how to do plant #HandEmbroidery, or #embroidery of skeletons *in* plants, would you want to show up? Please share this post to show interest. I'd love to share my skills.

The world is miserable and times are grim, but Hobbitsmas approaches. We are corning at beef as the centerpiece of a Farmer Maggot themed meal

Casual reminder as snap benefits are fucked but if you witness someone steal at the store no you didn't Be more like the kid from terminator with this dope ass mullet

Blocked me. Not beating the bitchmade allegations.

I'LL WEAR WHATEVER YE WANT. I'LL BARK AND GROWL AND MAKE WHATEVER NOISES YE SEE FIT, JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER HIT FROM SWEET LADY DART!

Fate [whispering]: you cannot withstand the storm Some guy who drives an oversized pickup exclusively within the city limits [whispering back]: i am the storm Me [sidling up to both of them, whispering]: hey guys, what are we whispering about?

Saying "oh, my gazpacho soup is here" every time food is brought to the table, no matter the context or what kind of food it is

Saying "oh, my gazpacho soup is here" every time food is brought to the table, no matter the context or what kind of food it is

this is a centrist banishment circle 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🤡 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 repost to never interact with one again

Hey @salon.com why have two of your old white lib contributors decided to show their whole asses to this platform while trying to argue with leftists? Paul Rosenberg saying he likes to roleplay as other races and Amanda Marcott admitting she can't think outside her own experience? Embarrassing shit.

You'll pry these Oxford commas out of my cold, dead, third thing hands

Thai place near us has pumpkin curry as a special and oooh baby is that something I never knew I needed