I grant immunity to Luigi Mangione for all alleged crimes. Legal experts say my pardons do not apply. 🤷‍♀️

Oh look, it's what the Democrats wanted the whole time. Reminder: They are not on our side and they are also the bad guys.

My daughter, who has the perfect mix of good taste and sense of humor, has bought the best possible menorah.

I have always, and continue to, love Ethan Hawke.

They always get sooooo close to a concept of a plan, but never arrive. They are the Zeno of accomplishment.

What will the children think if Bugs Bunny no longer strictly conforms to heterosexual masculinity

It’s been pointed out that William Gibson would have rejected this idea as too outlandish. I have to say I can’t think of a more depressing and disgusting gateway to the dystopian nightmare I never imagined I’d actually see than this. I made it pretty far in life believing in humanity.

I have come to the conclusion that all gambling should be made illegal again; or at the very least, must all be conducted in person at bookies.

“I refuse to put on my big boy pants and be a responsible competent adult.”

hate the player, and hate the game.

I’m really starting to think that early Turing tests of things like Eliza were only done with academics and other “certifiably smart” people. If they’d used more regular humans they would have learned much faster just how dumb most people are.

SPPD supporting ICE raid on the East Side of St Paul today. @mayorcarter.bsky.social, this is NOT what we want.

when its definitely not a hostage situation

They don’t like looking at the proletariat. They want to pretend that we don’t exist. Dress up for them please.

I am so ridiculously happy that my kid really liked Rear Window and wants to watch a bunch Hitchcock movies now.

What I really need is Steve from Blue's Clues to simply walk me through all my chores step by step. Steve will ask, "Do YOU know where the trash bags are?" I will slap a giant blue pawprint sticker on the cupboard under the sink and shout, "I SURE DO, STEVE"

Is this loss

This might be the single funniest thing that has happened during this incredibly cursed year

You know this guy came up to me last week - big guy, tough guy - and said Sir, religion is the opium of the masses - tears in his eyes. He’s got a point there

FFS can we all just stop pretending there are two opposing political parties in this country pretty please? Also, this is stupid beyond words.

"What are they supposed to do, just NOT show up to Dick Cheney's funeral?" YES. YOU DO NOT MOURN THE DEATH OF ONE OF THE ARCHITECTS OF MAKING TORTURE PART OF OFFICIAL POLICY. YOU DON'T SHOW UP TO DUBYA'S FUNERAL EITHER. FUCKING JACKASSES.

A Trump supporter started murdering his way through an assassination list of Democratic law makers FIVE MONTHS AGO. He murdered my colleague Melissa Hortman, and her husband Mark — and attempted to assassinate my dear friend John Hoffman and his wife Yvette. I was also on the hit list. WTF

Let’s talk about sedition and treason, because the most powerful yet inadequate man in the world is having a tantrum about it, and his soulless, spineless sycophants are boosting his message. /1

It is Give to the Max day. I am lucky to be involved in this wonderful organization as a member of the Board. They provide free, trendy, clothing in a safe, inviting, dignified space to youth in need in the Twin Cities. A donation is appreciated! www.givemn.org/organization...

If **Jeffrey Epstein** thinks you're a evil and demented sociopath, the odds are overwhelming that you are, in fact, an evil and demented sociopath.

This isn’t even the stuff they’re trying to actually stop from getting out.

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes. Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

I’ve seen reported in places that up to about a quarter of men admit that they are attracted to adolescent girls. If that’s true, and you are in an environment that allows and encourages selfish, lewd, or unchecked behavior because of wealth and power, we are probably vastly underestimating here.

To increase the dumbassery... it's Magnificent Mile (Mag Mile). Stupid old man.

Thus do all traitors

Democrats are what you think Republicans used to be. Republicans are Nazis. Capitalism is evil. They want us fighting each other for scraps. All of them. Not just Schumer. All. Of. Them.

lol she got his ass and he knows it

lol

fellas is it antisemitic to be Jewish

Happy Election Day! Don't forget to vote.

I used to sit and watch my ex do some prediction betting on elections year back. He thought it was fun. I thought it was a sign of very dangerous things. Maybe it was fun. I was more right. This is insanity and will collapse everything.

just dropping this wee little link here for no reason in particular en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degener...

The greatest moment in broadcast television history.

what people who don't play video games think video games are like

I’ve wondered about this stuff. Not the details I didn’t know about,, like this amazing piano, but did anyone see all the stuff get moved? Where is everything?

No correct aspect ratio upload to be found on YouTube, and I could be more rigorous about my editing, but I genuinely think this is some of the funniest 106 seconds in comedy history, and definitely in my top five Simpsons jokes.

good afternoon

Living off DayQuil and potato chips is not really helping, but it also is.

This cold I have sucks

Shot (literally) / Chaser

It’s a class war.

it’s honestly impossible for me to respect any Trump supporters. if you are proud of this man leading our country, I cannot respect you on any level. the lack of class, intelligence, or taste is just stunning. pure trash

It is a scandal totally unprecedented in history that the Vice President has shared a video depicting the President as king. It’s an obscene violation of every founding American principle. And nothing will come of it. It makes me physically sick.

They didn’t have time to walk the three blocks from the offices to the main gathering spot and also write something in time for the front page with only, like, a couple months notice.