We all have that one friend who's obsessed with being turned into a living ball. If you don't know anyone like this, or if you stopped reading this post at the 2nd word because it looks like the word "ball", you are that friend. And I like having you as a friend :) Have a great time jacking off :)

Anime girl running to school with a piece of toast in her mouth. Cliche, you might think... but did I mention, she also has incurable rabies??

just imagined someone saying "naruhodo" in an Australian accent and immediately called in sick to work

sick of the idea of "death by a thousand cuts". just slice my ass in half with a huge blade. Ryuichi Sakamoto's 1 Really Big Knife

Just had an amazing thought... I Can't Fuck None Of These Bugs.... Due To Too Small

Just had an amazing thought... I Have To Fuck Every Grasshopper I See Until I Die

Just had an amazing thought... What if The Bible is real?... Also, I think Insects Have Entered My Skull And Eatn By Mrain Do Not Let This Distract You.

@arakubrick.bsky.social is facing a tough time after losing her job and struggling with rent and repairs, i'm trying to raise just a few hundred $ for her as fast as possible. please share if you can and thank you so much gofund.me/bede3dd54

I would gladly let Magneto pass - through my skull and brain, fatally - a token from Funspot -- located in beautiful Meredith, NH, where Steve Wiebe memorably --- and successfully --- encountered the Donkey Kong "kill screen" in "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters" (2007) -- for free.

i swear to fucking god i saw this like a week and a half ago and i cannot cannot cannot stop thinking about it its so fucking good

Today I woke up at 2 AM. Instead of falling back asleep my brain decided to conjure up these images which haunted my mind palace until properly expelled

The Top Ten Obscure Kids Cartoons You Forgot Existed Because I Personally Erased Your Memories With My Powerful Brain Ray

send this to your crush

If someone loaded a blimp or other airborne dirigible with One Million Running Chainsaws and dropped their cargo over strategic portions of Washington DC, I would definitely send my regrets to the families of some of those who were killed

suddenly, while I was using it, my mouse scroll wheel has decided to scroll like 1/5 as much as it used to. full charge. my gangstalkers have found the perfect fuse to make me insane and kill all humans

Jugs Be A Lady Tonight

Ahhn. (inhales through teeth) Mmm. (inhales through teeth) Thank You for Fucking my Butt.

3D Mainichi Modern is OUT! Full video in replies

Kaleidoscopes will be back in a BIG way in 2026

time to check what's on the Boob Tube (my homemade pornographic kaleidoscope)

just invented a new kind of mushroom: "Stinky Helmet". let me know what you think in the comments

"The Big Apple", aka New York City, has so many cuisines - from the humble bodega to the humble street cart - that maybe they should call it "Moo Pork Critty"! (moo=beef, pork=pig, critty=critter (fish, rat, etc.))

[in a dungeon, deeply] ME: let's get out of here! MY TRUSTED CONFIDANT WHOM I MET AT THE START OF MY JOURNEY: (suddenly smiling widely, and, ngl, lookin a little like a soyjak) Ehhhh...?? ME: it's time to leave this deep dungeon ! MTCWIMATSOMJ: Ohhhh???? >:D ME: Wait... Wah ! (I am killed by spikes)

think I'm going to write a song about realizing that the state of Montana is actually a leg while on my deathbed. (listening to john linnell - state songs (1999)) foohhhhhhh

Wee Willie Winkie's parents should have been arrested. Naming your child like that is simply unacceptable

"early" should be an adverb meaning "like an ear" and it should rhyme with 'merely'

This is really really good. I have no connection to this at all I just saw someone post it in discord www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VNk...

out: getting boiled in a giant cast iron cauldron 🙅 in: getting sublimated directly to human vapor in a giant cast iron cauldron 🧙‍♂️

I never noticed it before, but when you examine the core tenets of capitalism: - Ruthless efficiency - scarcity, or more often, Fear of an artificial scarcity - An almost fanatical devotion to the Pope It actually forms a humorous reference to a classic sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus 😮

Become More Frankenstein-Like Immediately www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwjQ...

this guy's videos rock. he has some very charming folksy videos about exploring local graveyards and stuff, and then also this www.youtube.com/watch?v=76WA...

friday night. time to have a little "Mom Juice", haha, if you know what I mean... (pulls out a big cartoon jug with XXX printed on the side) so yeah this is filled with milf discharge

(starting a chant) ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! (a competing chant starts) WI-ZARD ZAP! WI-ZARD ZAP! WI-ZARD ZAP! (entire crowd suddenly shifts to a third chant in unison) ZAPPED FROM SPACE. ZAPPED FROM SPACE. ME AND MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN ZAPPED FROM SPACE.

belching with glee at the sight of a ham

Just invented a new cool saying for when someone tells you about a thing you don't care about: "Yeah... 🙄 Big Whupp !! 🤣"

I have been writing researching and writing about threats to Ilhan Omar for like 8 years and so I don't mean to go all Bluesky Discourse™ on a viral moment I just see in her my friends who I worry about and I'm still shaken. That was too close. My article (well my research) from 2019

the reason I'm so heated right now is Ilhan Omar has been thrown to the wolves so many times by the Democratic establishment for saying the things the Dems are finally, YEARS LATER starting to say. They've let Rep Omar take a lot of heat and have not used their voices enough to defend her

I don't want to celebrate how Ilhan Omar was ready to throw down. Tired of valorizing Black women as fighters, that dude should have been stopped and stomped out before he got close to her.

REP. OMAR after being attacked with liquid: “We will continue! These fucking assholes are not gonna get away with this! Here is the reality people like this ugly man don’t understand — we are Minnesota Strong. We’ll stay resilient in the face of whatever they might throw at us.”

listen here you stupid leftoid, if you just voted blue in 2024, ICE would be ruining the lives of immigrant families quietly and efficiently in a way where we wouldn't have to hear about it on the news

getting feds to say shit like this on camera with their face exposed is NUTS -- you can not reform this agency, everyone involved must go, there is no practical way to root out all of these guys

I hate the neologism "run a train on". The humble Train is a noble beast, and would never do something so disgusting.

Hime-sama, you're a loose cannon... but you get results

January. It's the Lord. www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXRo...

Let's go The New England Patriots. I definitely always believed since before the season started that we would appear in the fucking super bowl again

Thick, Healthy Scrod

Voting NO on the DHS funding bill is the bare minimum. Backing Kristi Noem’s impeachment is the bare minimum. Holding law-breaking ICE agents legally accountable is the bare minimum. ICE is beyond reform. Abolish it.

frogger advance: the great quest, screenshot, game boy advance (2002) www.mobygames.com/game/12558/f...

“better training” www.pbs.org/newshour/nat...