If your brain melts into a putrid slurry upon beholding The Forbidden Knowledge..... you'll might be a Redneck!!!

Lonzo Ball is short for Lorenzo Bald

a good name for a band would be God's Shit

Gordon Ramsey has become elderly. He is now feeble and small. He has gotten into standup at the old folks home and his killer closer is about how his balls are "fucking rotten!!!!!!" seems like a miss to me but the other olds love it

Gary Glitter has been pronounced dead after a "preposterous" amount of wolves took turns biting his penis and balls

Gary Glitter has passed away after getting caught in a man-sized mousetrap

a wommen have gorggeous breest ❤️‍🩹

chronic-condition-havers are doing some admirable things in the painpunk space

artist unleashed, print ad, imagery (1985) archive.org/details/1985...

people love to complain about red tape. I have never seen red tape in my whole life. Maybe stop accelerating towards blue tape ? Biotch ?

"Hips Danger" could have ^ I saved this draft in the middle of the night last nite. no earthly idea how it was supposed to end

living in a 24/7 d/s (damsel/snidely) relationship with a girl who keeps a pair of airpods in so she can listen to oncoming train asmr to stay in "trackspace"

Look, I'm sorry. It's just hard, as a millennial, to remember whether "doggerel" is good or bad.

the lawnmower man, prototype, screenshot, snes (1993) tcrf.net/Proto:The_La...

horse_ebooks

I was all my dream My used to me Word Up my was me

One of the most pleasurable activities a human can safely engage in regularly is recalling the name "Darva Conger"

Jerry Lee Lewis is thought to have written "Great Balls of Fire" about his controversial spouse, Osama bin Laden, perpetrator of the September 11 terrorist attacks.

it's the greatest day

there should be a restaurant that haps something called Freaky Dip on the menu. and it should be genuinely frightening, without resorting to cheap jumpscares

Hail, traveler. Have you heard the goo news? They say Slime Growth is occurring to the west... [ OK ]

This guy is coming to kill me. He has sworn to end my life by any means necessary, even if innocent people are caught in the crossfire.

This is the aesthetic of the future

my AI manservant keeps insisting I try the new and improved Chex Mix and will NOT take no for an answer. I knew it was a mistake to buy into BaaS (Butlers as a Service) 😒

falling into a new, different well with a new, different baby every fortnight

I am Honor-Bound and Duty-Sworn to Pleasure My Men in the Fog of War... And That's an Order!!!!

I had a dream last night where a lot of dogs and cats bit and clawed my hands at a party, and it was somehow made into a successful movie. You will never guess what happened next at the party somebody threw for the movie

Me making posts and everyone reading them

I'm hear to bubble and gum 🥰 Sweeaty 😘

allowing Mr. Driller to explore my body. of course first fuckin thing he does is give me a punctured lung 😮‍💨

maintenance put an "out of order" sign on a plunger and parked it in front of a urinal, and later the sign fell off. so naturally I imagined a guy coming in and seeing this and saying "oh great, a seat!" and sitting nude on the plunger to take a piss

🫡 KEEP HONKING 🫡 I AM INVINCIBLE 🤫

they_call_me_Sonic%20[techno%20remix].ape

new unfounded stereotype: Britons haven't any idea how to behave in "the cinema" if they don't see a Bruv Pummeler on duty on the way in

"Oh, sir!" scrinked the orphan. "How I would hate for my Best Sweetie to have the non-hodgkin'ed lymphoma! Say it's'n't so!"

owls and vultures are probably friends due to the Barfbones Quotient

illustration, popcom, magazine (1989) archive.org/details/popc...

last year i swept the rosters of every team that qualified for the NCAA softball super regionals. this year, without reusing any, i've done the same tag yourself. personally, i'm Kalista Birkenstock

Great grandfather built mazes. Grandfather built mazes. Father was in venture capital but he built mazes on the weekends. By the time I was born there were no mazes left to build. Everyone was already lost.

Once these Let Billions Suffer voters see how gruesome letting billions suffer gets they will surely come crawling back to the Let Millions Suffer party and we’ll finally be able to win elections without catering to those troublesome Nobody Should Suffer radicals

As the temperature rises and the sun's rays feel more direct, I find myself slowly becoming more and more shirtless. Does this phenomenon have a name...?

craving a lunch sandwich at 3 PM 😩

epilepsy warning but this might be the most incredible video game footage me ever seen www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iYU...

They don't want you to Know this, but if/when you insert a hex (Allen) wrench into your urethra, you can unlock some bonus puzzles! 😍

Checjkt his out:

This is what peak masculinity USED to look like. Society is so broken now

spheres of chaos, official website (2000) web.archive.org/web/20001009...

when they invent "timemachine" I shall go back to dinosaur times and find our earliest ancestor who's responsible for Teeth and kick its ass apart