Going ✈️ keto (half a block of manchego)

For every actual view of AI Fruit Love Island there are 30 'Commentary Creators' desperately collecting clips to keep their bad-thing-of-the-week ragebait relevant.

I love public transit. I love seeing people who I didn’t know existed existing.

I raise you a Peggy Olson Plan B ad

They've automated imminent divorce

Woke up. Craved bread. Ate too much bread. Sleepy sore tummy.

Perfect for every night of the week

Yeah the 90s were just, different.

Well we've got a great all-stars season booked in for two-three years from now. 🤷

Comedians telling their audience they have ADHD is a bit like your Uber driver telling you they drive a car.

I'm approaching that house-kimono wearing age all faggots of substance reach so I should really prepare.

I need to save more for Primavera but it's payday and mama needs a(nother) vintage kimono...

Miette awoke from uneasy dreams to find that you change her body like the cockroach

Food "purity" is such a deathcult who the fuck do you think you are throwing punches at yeast extract!?

Sorry but this wig alone is proof that the Disney live-action remakes were a Bob Iger psyop to throw brown actors into culture-wars and ridicule.

Who invited Law to the feel-good makeover episode 😭

And that sissy voice 💜 *throws away Nair* yeeha

How are things over in the Metaverse you ask?

These two women and their stylists are shining lights in a dark world

🍻

I loved this movie so much. I wish I'd seen it earlier so I could rave about it while it was still on general release. So darkly funny. So touching. Incredible score. Just exquisite. There are still some showings at The Arzner in Bermondsey. Run don't walk!

Gamefreak are releasing literal pet dogs as Pokémon while nature is serving us this...

A new diva has entered the Cunty Bird Universe

Apparently it's not kosher to refer to a 7 month old eating a napkin as "the Japanese pornstar diet" 🤷

"Everything is politics...You don't get to make art in a fascist state" CMAT delivering, mar is gnách. 👏 (Same goes for sport btw) #Speirgorm

Feels like those Olympians have been out in the cold for a over month now.

nobody is wuthering anymore be honest when did you last wuther?

The explosion of AI photos on delivery apps has saved me so much money. It properly puts me off ordering altogether.

Was reminded to listen to Coat of Many Colours by Dolly today and my god she really literally does sound like a songbird on some notes 💜

I literally might be the best fortune charm the UK has ever had.

A spokesperson from the Tony Blair Institute said ‘the British people need to be realistic about the amount of sunshine they’re entitled to’ and added that the introduction of ID cards would improve daylight levels by ‘up to 1.5%’. They also threw in some bollocks about AI for good measure

I could never be an olympic curler because I will touch the stones beyond the hog line all I want 😤

Anywhomf who upgraded to a Switch 2 looking to shift their old one?

Hi we're @zoho.com Our CRM software is like a carnival claw machine. Good luck getting value from it! We also do accounting software.

I need everyone to know that on the crochet subreddit the mods made a big post about how they're taking a week off because there was too much fighting/political posts. so there's currently no mods on r/crochet and people are being absolutely insane

The way Kier Starmer says "I'm sorry" should be studied

Love easyJet they were like 'if you are flying with children this evening please take them away with you'

I'm glad I printed out my cycling route for this trip because of course a bike lock in my carryon set of security.

at the gay duck orgy:

ten years ago today no one clapped

Let's be clear here watching Heated Rivalry is not allyship .That's yaoi that's softcore you don't need to be watching that.

I can confirm that Sex Matters has been refused permission to bring its anti-democratic, exclusionary, and bigoted challenge to the inclusive space at Hampstead Ponds. More to follow.

Any recommendations for 48 hours on the Isle of Man? Walkroutes welcome but can't do any major hiking.

Omgomgomg I can't fucking wait!

Referring to the people you rule over as “the customers“ is just too on the nose man come on

Gonna have a Carseat Headrest day

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (2023-)

Tiktok is the worst thing to have ever happened gyms.