Just finished Strip Law on Netflix, and I truly don’t think I’ve laughed this hard at a new show since Archer.

Fainted at the dentist Hey aqualung

Thinking about the time my friend ate a poutine and puked it up and his dog ate the puke then the dog puked and another smaller dog at THAT puke and then also threw up. And friends, in that third pile of puke, there was one full, unbitten french fry. A magical fry that went on a terrible journey.

listening to charles mingus on the toilet (me not him)

Top 3 internet video of all time. Never fails to make me smile.

“Bugbears: neither bugs, nor bears. Discuss.”

Fuck dude it sure is

This is a remarkably creative and fun jaunt through a thousand years of English, and a creepy story to boot. I’m good through the 1400s. How about you? 🗃️

USA! USA! USA!

Keep following that thread, Sam: those people (who lived and consumed and ate food and used water and all that) were gonna do that anyway. To suggest that this is equal to AI consumption would also suggest that, for it to be “equal,” we would need to get rid of the humans.

I added Tubi to the bedroom tv, and upon opening the app (before logging in, before even seeing a menu), it immediately started playing Shrek.

Sacrificing weed for Lent, so I think I’m entitled to a third martini.

There’s someone else at the gym. Idk what to do. What’s the proper etiquette? Do we hug? High five?…kiss?

“Old man! I don’t really have to kowtow to him, do I?” “That depends; do you want to learn or not?”

SHOPKEEPER: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse. CAKE SINGER JOHN MCCREA: Aw no! SHOPKEEPER: But it comes with a free frogurt. CAKE SINGER JOHN MCCREA: Aw yeah! SHOPKEEPER: The frogurt is also cursed. CAKE SINGER JOHN MCCREA: Aw right!

My gag reflex is goated when annoying the dentist is the vibe.

Every time I see this I want to look up the punishment for destruction of property.

Baby Kiryuin Satsuki be like “you will tuck me in, and I will be tucked in by you!”

Happy Valentine’s Day

I think my favorite thing about this is how the big kid is totally giving “you’re disrespecting a future US Army soldier” kinda vibes, big talker, maybe kinda douchey, yea sure ok buddy. But then,

Accidentally put 25s on the bar instead of 10s this morning and only noticed after my set when I was putting them away. Maybe next time I accidentally put 45s on.

My foot is a bigger athlete than I’ve ever been.

Nice automata. Nier?

I wish the world could see me the way I see myself reflected in car windows

Hot music take: Come Out And Play is only The Offspring’s second best song about a school shooting.

Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick

Hot damn! Above freezing!

At work, gritting my teeth and forcing a smile: “it’s fine. The usual pallet sorter deserves some days off, too.”

I’m really bad at telling how much toothpaste is left in a tube. One of my great failures in life.

Macbeth: SHIT

[threateningly] it’s baseball season.

What if we kissed 😳 on the trail cam 🙈 and we were both pumas 🐆

FOUR WICKETS in the power play. Let’s fucking GOOOOOO

Did something I’ve never done before and went to the gym before work this morning. I am overflowing with endorphins right now. I can do it all.

Like objectively, the only real bad things an illegal immigrant can do to you…are just bad things regardless of nationality. Like the funny thing is when they bring up anecdotes of immigrants doing crime and you kinda have to be like “but that was illegal anyway. That had no impact.”

I’ve been watching this video over the last couple days, and it is positively nuts. Feels like every 10 minutes has a slap-your-forehead “oh, duh!” moment. Masterfully explained.

There is an “updated” version that came out 15 years later, but the original is just so *pure*.

Everyone at work is pretending not to notice that I went to the gym last night.

Feb 2nd - Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today. Do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow? That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's #GROUNDHOGDAY 📽️📅 Groundhog Day (1993)

February aka Landlord's Delight... the month where they REALLY get ya

Feb 1st - Todd Ingram ate gelato, despite being vegan. 📽️📅 Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

SOAD is still ahead of their time

Ruff ‘em up, boys!

Fantastic piece of modern horror fiction. Read the whole thread.

it is quite literally their instinct and no one in this video has any memory that they said any of this

It’s a holy day of obligation. The Golden Calf Awards are here again.

Hades II end credits reached. Now we’re just playing for fun.

Digging through the pile of empty Diet Dew bottles and Chinese takeout containers to get our snow shovel to dig out my car only to find the recycling center is closed for poor weather for the second week in a row.

Went to a comedy show last night, and of course Everything was brought up in the course of the evening. On one hand, I wish it weren’t and it really brought me down in the middle of a comedy show. On the other hand, it feels really REALLY weird to do things like go to a comedy show these days.