Was this the best use of my time today? No. Is it the most amusing way I could have spent the last 90 minutes? Absolutely. Pattern is free here: bit.ly/4nGGCGc

I bit both my cheek and tongue when my face was numb from the dentist and it's like my first day with a mouth

Folks who are local or semi-local to me:

What is it about academic presses that makes me a sucker to do shit work that I wouldn't do for cash but will do when they offer me books?? Like, cash could buy books! And other things! But somehow you offer me free books and I'm all in??

Supertoys really do last all summer long

Oh wtf, the fallout from the Teen Vogue layoffs keeps getting worse

👀

oh my god they actually did it lmao

Oh damn! Dirty Three coming to Chicago!

Yep that’s what we’ve been telling you all, you shameless asshole.

Sorry I'm late, students, but there were like 6 flocks of migratory birds in my yard this morning so obviously I couldn't just not look at them a lot

I've been so busy enjoying the vibes on bluesky that I forgot to prep to teach my 3 classes tomorrow. Seems like we should be allowed to just take the day.

People who are leaving NYC, please post pix of your U-Hauls!

Normal People Don’t Want This Shit is running away with the vote tonight

Elected Democrats spending more time today praising Dick Cheney than Zohran Mamdani is a great case study in abject fucking moral failure.

Running a meeting and secretly just photographing my colleague's pup who chose ME to sleep on under the table

Are we seriously having the blocklist convo again or did I get here late enough to just pretend we're not doing that

"There are no longer any Black women working at Teen Vogue." Damn, what a coincidence. All these news orgs keep laying off the same types of people while a bilious, rapey, leather-faced buffoon provides them cover and shakes them down for money to build a library named for a man who does not read.

if you see that AI-generated video going around, of some NYPD officer telling an ICE officer what he’s doing is against the law, one straightforward way to tell it’s AI is this will literally never happen

I hope future generations recognize how quickly and strangely the contours of what counts as a political scandal changed for this president.

All that room in the headline and the post to tell us who shot him and yet...

My dog has mastered the glare of a teenager who is so sick of my shit

Past me was the one who thought putting a clock 15 feet up the wall was a good idea and there is no fucking way present me is getting out the ladder to deal with the consequences of that asshole's poor decisions

Rocket says goodnight, sleep well, she'll probably kill you in the morning

We used to have a pair of barred owls living in the yard and this one had the most "the fuck you looking at" vibe ever

Just sent email about an event on November 10th and wrote it as April 10th so clearly I am over this entire academic year.

You can't make this up.

Goddamn! This is so good!

November 1st

I will write 30 letters of recommendation today

Based on all the brands in my email today, christmas shopping has moved from the day after thanksgiving to the day after halloween. Do I have that right? Is that really what we're doing now?

Rocket refused to wear a costume, as is her way, so instead she's dressed up as the person holding all the extra chins for the group

All we want is Link and private accounts

My kid woke up too sick for school and too sick to trick or treat so I hope everyone is ready for him to walk around in a costume and shake people down for candy for like the next week at least

Tomorrow when I'm complaining my alarm went off too early, someone remind me it's because I want time to dress up the dog before I leave for work

Dear journals: if you want to ask me to review an article that uses the concept of artificial superintelligence and takes it at face value and/or remotely seriously, do not ask me to review that article.

Amazon is helping fund a $300 million build of a ballroom for the White House. Independent bookstores are donating to food banks and organizations that help with food insecurity. They are not the same.

The Register is reporting that OpenAI lost $11 billion in the last quarter. This company is a shambling monstrosity, financial insanity as a direct result with the markets’ obsession with growth. www.theregister.com/2025/10/29/m...

I firmly believe that if you haven't had time to carve pumpkins by Oct 30, the entire family gets to call in sick and spend the day doing spooky stuff and carving pumpkins

I need a tshirt that says "I'm not mad at you but I've been staring at a screen for so long my eyes no longer see and my brain no longer processes faces"

If only all of us insisting there is no ethical use for facial recognition technology had been listened to even a tiny bit maybe we wouldn't be here. It isn't too late! Ban 100% of facial recognition technology. And abolish ICE while you're at it.

*stares at the camera like Jim from The Office*

“I think they are a profoundly antisocial technology that should be rejected in every way possible,” said Gilliard. “Their very existence is toxic to the social fabric.” @hypervisible.blacksky.app www.theverge.com/tech/807834/...

As the faculty advisor to a sorority I'm required to do hazing training and I asked my kid if I could pay him to do it for me and he said he didn't need training and would haze them for free so clearly some parenting losses here for me

There probably are such white people but the venn diagram of those white people and white supremacists is a circle

They are also intentionally conflating machine-learning and generative AI slop to confuse and try to make GenAI seem necessary. Google Maps traffic stuff is machine learning, not GenAI, for example. Auto-correct is too. Don't let them make you lose the thread. GenAI slop is slop.

My fudge levels feel dangerously low today

At least there's a Greg Egan story in the new @clarkesworldmagazine.com!

The Democrats, famously over-emphasizing democracy and abortion in 2025