who's gonna rescue the hostages stuck right now in that room listening to that moonfaced psycho who can never shut up

you thought he was insufferable before - when does the bukkake start

there are no coffee makers in these rooms not like ask the front desk to bust one out for you just none fucken barbaric fuck you Spark

On National Coming Out Day, know that I will always be an ally to you — no matter where you are on your journey. I know that times may be scary, but you are seen, safe, supported, and loved here in Illinois.

heads up the market for homes may have cooled down but i think the market for lots is heating up you heard it here first

One thing we've learned from the American judicial system: The first 34 felonies are on the house*. *Terms and conditions may apply. See prosecutors for details if you're not white. Or rich.

sweet christ some days I hate my job

"the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa"

2025 is about reading the most dystopian bullshit you've ever seen and then having to still go to the store.

John Oliver: "If ICE can bother some guys at a roofing job, bystanders can bother ICE at their state-sanctioned kidnapping job."

Please share with anyone home shopping. Choose your own agent. YOU CAN. www.housingwire.com/articles/zil...

I can’t believe I’m watching interviews of city mayors talking about how they are coordinating with other mayors to discuss how to protect their residents FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES I know we are “used to it” but it is absolutely insane

This is going to end up being the most pointless and expensive "this meeting could have been an email" in history.

If your pet video title begins with "hearts break" keep it away from me.

They have identified the person in charge of escalators at the UN:

can we stop reporting trump tweets as the Actual Law In Effect yet or nah

You will know by my emails when I start getting fed up with your shit.

If anything, autism causes Tylenol

I’m autistic. Not because of Tylenol. Not because of vaccines. Not because of some headline. I’m autistic because that’s how my brain works. Stop treating us like a problem. Start listening to us.

Hell yes it should be

What a fucking G.

my mom took tylenol when she was pregnant, which made me super smart and now i have a phd

If the GOP want to continue down their current path (Deport Omar! Deport Mamdani!), then Dems need to start calling for the denaturalization & deportation of Melania, fight fire with fire - plus there are far more unanswered questions about her immigration to the US than either Mamdani or Omar.

Murder is ALWAYS wrong. Charlie Kirk was murdered. Hate is wrong. Charlie Kirk trafficked in hate.

I would love to be part of the conversation on MSNBC related to the Kimmel story and it's chilling effects on first amendment, but unfortunately I was terminated by MSNBC for stating that "hateful thoughts lead to hateful words which lead to hateful actions".

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Going out of town for a couple of days and the dog sitter will cost more than the motel room.

Silly Jimmy Kimmel. He should have just called for all homeless people to be killed and he’d still have a job.

A grim reminder: these people will never be satisfied. There’s no point at which they will say “we’ve won, let’s enjoy life.” They will always be looking for someone else to punish, to revile, to dehumanize. They’re empty without that.

What we're living through is the result of 100 years of treating conservatism like it was anything better than fascism biding its time.

Women, did you know you can keep the full name you were born with your whole damn life long?

US President back-pedalling furiously after his administration treated some innocent hard-working Koreans like they were innocent hard-working Latinos.

Allow me to address the elephant in the room: If Charlie Kirk wasn’t a right-wing extremist, right-wing extremist groups wouldn’t be marching to honor him.

ICE kills

"You are being musically mean to me and it's hurting my feelings so I am going to call the police department that we are supposed to be supporting to report a feels violation."

Putting away all the "CIVIL WAR NOW" banners at the news station and bringing out the "Mental Health Crisis in America" banners with a heavy sigh

I will never mourn a white nationalist

In summary: The hateful Charlie Kirk was shot by the acolyte of a more hateful version of Charlie Kirk. It wasn’t any of the imaginary bogeymen they were hoping for. Just a case of them slowly drowning in their own hate.

Decrying violence against political opponents rings a bit hollow when you pull Secret Service protection from your political opponents.

watch me wear white now bitches

I think that since the overwhelming majority of mass shooters are cisgender men, we should take their guns first.

oh this is straightforward white nationalist agitprop

I did this. It only took a few minutes and displayed masterful prose.

If you're 60, 69.1% of all job growth since your birth occurred under Democratic administrations. If you're 45, that number is 74.7%. If you're under 28, the number is 100%. Happy Labor Day.

you just know somebody’s being called by their full name right now