They should invent a year that isn't terrible.

Reporting in from 2026, the newest of the years so far. 😎 It’s all still shit.. Don’t come.. But if you must.. 😵‍💫 Happy new year! Don't mind the apocalypse! 🥳💖

Not to brag 🤥 but.. Santa/bestie squad gave me an unopened puzzle made in 1988 featuring.. *drumroll* ✨ALF in a tuxedo, playing piano✨🤯 Awwwww fuck yaaaasssss! 🥳

just breathe

Three wise men? Run, girl. This can’t end well.

Ol' bird app just locked my account and gave me a copyright warning for this (3 _years_ after I posted it..). So here it is for everybody to worry about! 🎶🎵🥳

Somehow I’ve missed out on watching Arcane until recently aaand.. Who’s your most relatable character in the show and why is it Jinx? No..? Just me..? Oki doki.. 🤪 youtu.be/B1n_gncTKxM

Platonic marriage should be more of a thing. Ya know, for tax benefits and such

Canon lesbians? No, you misunderstood: I said *cannon* lesbians. *Shells your village*

Yeah I have FOMO. Fear Of Meeting Others.

"Technically Edible: Why You're Missing Out By Not Boiling Shoe Leather"

There’s nothing like a circle of women who want the best for each other. Women who strategize. Women who mediate between one another and manipulate the world with a unified, equitable objective. You were probably taught that this isn’t our nature. Society stole that from you. We are the best at it.

If you haven’t already seen this.. You can watch it NOW! 🥳💃 Trust me. You can thank me later. 💖 youtu.be/AzCAwdp1uIQ

“But her emails” was just another confession disguised as an accusation, it’s so incredibly obvious now.

Saw someone refer to a man looking for a housewife as a “labor digger.” Stunned crying jumping cheering weeping

🥺👉👈 So.. I'm looking for a gang for a.. this 👇

She just arrived today and is every bit as fabulous as I had hoped.

No Kings, only Queens <3

It’s such a bad time to be a person with internet access.

I hear the Epstein Ballroom will be illuminated solely by gaslighting.

The human body is terribly made and mine feels like it was delivered from Temu

Men’s pants: Your waist is 30 inches, therefore you are a size 30. Women’s pants: Your waist is bad inches, you have wide hips, a small butt, short legs, a long torso, a prehensile tail, and we don’t like your face. Therefore you are a size whatever the fuck we want, but only at this store.

There was no AI in the making of this cover. I made those things and stuffed them into my shorts and up my top with my own two hands 🙌 Hope you like the result 😊

Felt cute, might delete later ✨🤫

Me, October 1st:

*psst* 👻 BOO! */psst*

Hot Girl Summer is over. Welcome to Witch Woman Autumn.

Clearly “Earth, Wind, and Fire” did not do a good enough job getting y’all to remember that it’s the 21st of September…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bookmarks and keychains now available for purchase ☺️ ko-fi.com/andreareads

The universe is attacking me again.. 😭

Live your life in such a way that, when you die, people directly quoting you does’t sound like a personal attack on your character.

2025’s official slogan is “It Gets Worse.”

Me: Your dog is gorgeous. How much does he weigh? Dog mom: 190 pounds. Me: (110 pounds imagining riding on a giant dog) Yes that will do nicely.

(づ•ᴗ•)づᯓ🍑 Right?? 🤔

I’m so tired of never being bored.

I know better than to place hope of any kind anywhere near Donald Trump, but we can all accept that it’s deeply weird that he, the most extremely online edgelord that ever fascismed, was simply unaware of one of the biggest stories on the internet for three straight days.

New pickup line for 2025: hey babe, wanna split bills? 😏

Cognitive dissonance is going to kill us all Wheeeee 🤷‍♀️

Obsessed with this obviously youtu.be/03iBgkXb1EE?...

So anyways.. Those Epstein files, huh? 🫤

There is a crime wave in DC deploy the National Guard to the Oval Office