Solo is maybe feeling a bit exhausted from babysitting.

Temu sapiens 💀🙈🤣

The human body is terribly made and mine feels like it was delivered from Temu

Felt cute, might delete later ✨🤫

Jewel had her fall photo shoot, after I found her cuddling with my apples.

Possum wants to boop your nose.

They’re growing too fast.

They've found lead and asbestos in their children's makeup a few times. I'm sure that didn't have anything to do with it it

They changed the shape of my med and it’s an oblomination.

He enjoys his naps.

My favorite thing about working again is how my body hurts constantly and I'm too tired to do anything.

*psst* 👻 BOO! */psst*

Van Helsing spies a vampire approaching. He leaves the door open, an invitation to come in. The beast suspects nothing. Another successful kill. It’s not easy keeping the world safe.

Preacher: “We shall give freely to the least of us. To those in need.” Parishioner: “HEY! THAT BRAT IS STEALING OUR SNACKS!!”

“Did I miss the Rapture?!”

Coming home to these guys is the best part of my day.

More censorship 😡😡😡😡 Full story: www.stlpr.org/government-p...

I didn’t need this, but I also did.

Working five days a week feels like I've fallen for some email scam.

Face Hugger has, once again, only thought of himself while grabbing McDonald’s.

Clover has some feelings about Monday.

The universe is attacking me again.. 😭

Them: “Do you work here?” Me: “No, I just like rearranging shoes for fun.”

I don’t know if he’s taken up yoga or has a cramp.

Gotta love when you microwave food and your potatoes spark 💥

Turns out fascism isn't bulletproof.

Waking up to a smiling face?

❤️

Eli showing the kittens how it’s done.

He’s starting to creep me out.

Cognitive dissonance is going to kill us all Wheeeee 🤷‍♀️

🫤

Assassin training has been going well. They have learned the art of camouflage so well that they can do it in their sleep.

The only thing attracted to me now is cat hair.

I’m becoming a crazy cat lady and it isn’t my fault.

I no longer watch the news or the stock market, but I monitor cat food prices on Chewy like my life depends upon it. I kind of does.

Hey guys, quick PSA. I thought this was a kitten, but apparently it’s some sort of weird vampire. It’s too late for me, but you guys be safe.

Haven’t been on much lately since I’ve decided to follow my dream of raising tiny assassins. Weapons training starts next week 🙌

AwooooOooOOoO

Around here you can snack, but you will never snack alone.

PSA: 🚨👵 I got varifocal glasses today.. .. so it is now ✨ILLEGAL✨ to be mean to me

I like eating apples, but having to eat around their ribcage is annoying.