Everything sucks but here are my cats in their beds.

Them: how are you doing? Me:

”Even if the world is full of desolation We can lift our heads up and see the Moon" 🎶🎵 www3.nasa.gov/send-your-na...

My Furbo pet cam wanted me to add the cat that it could see, so I did. Its AI feature now thinks that all of my cats are the same cat.

I don't know who needs to hear this but I've heard that if you *drop* an old spark plug on a car windshield and the ceramic part hits, the windshield will basically shatter

GRANDPARENTS HAVE RIGHTS!!!! To a breakfast....at the school of their grandchildren.

If you lost your teeth at the island, finding your teeth is probably your smallest problem.

KELBY! CALL YOUR FUCKING MEEMAW!

Ringing in the new year with no health insurance. This country is such a shithole.

Reporting in from 2026, the newest of the years so far. 😎 It’s all still shit.. Don’t come.. But if you must.. 😵‍💫 Happy new year! Don't mind the apocalypse! 🥳💖

Triple loaf

Not to brag 🤥 but.. Santa/bestie squad gave me an unopened puzzle made in 1988 featuring.. *drumroll* ✨ALF in a tuxedo, playing piano✨🤯 Awwwww fuck yaaaasssss! 🥳

I have absolutely bit off more than I can chew, but there’s no one else to chew it.

tried to get a video of her playing but she had to give me kisses instead

Ol' bird app just locked my account and gave me a copyright warning for this (3 _years_ after I posted it..). So here it is for everybody to worry about! 🎶🎵🥳

Got a new display cabinet for these bad boys. Would love to see how other people display their cats.

“I kNoW hOw tO LaNd tHe sHiP, HaRoLd. DoN’t TeLL mE wHaT tO dO, HaRoLd.”

Them: How's your new job? Me:

I’ve told Solo that it’s time to get a job. He’s not happy about it, but we have a lot of mouths to feed.

“I don’t get it. It’s going to puke on your carpet a lot more than I would.”

My neighbor’s ain’t doing shit without me knowing about it.

One of them can walk in their pjs. The other is a drama queen who can only nap and roll around.

My cat peed on my postage stamp, and I didn’t know what to do with it… until I got my car tax bill.

Any time I’m feeling especially crazy, a few minutes here makes me feel better.

welcome home Yuumi! www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DsjPyq/

What an utterly useless party. These morons are actively helping Republicans kill people.

Reenactment of what I do all day.

This is clearly not how Chewie wanted to spend his Caturday.

When your bestie belongs in a museum.

Not to brag, but I managed to do $5500 worth of damage to my car pulling into a (terrible) driveway. Seriously, no lighting on it, no reflectors on the sides of it. It doesn't even widen out like a normal driveway, just a straight drop into a culvert. It's like looking for a shadow in the dark.

Went out last week and this sign was in the bathroom.

If I’m waiting for an elevator and you come up to also wait, congratulations! That’s your elevator now.

🥺👉👈 So.. I'm looking for a gang for a.. this 👇

He’s recharging.

Why does that creepy old pedophile want a ballroom anyway?

On the local page, someone will post an adult cat who needs help and it’s nothing but prayers and crickets. A few hours later, someone posts a kitten and 12 people were just looking for one. People are a bunch of fucking assholes.

One of my boys is excited for Halloween.

The most helpful thing you can do to combat food insecurity is donate CASH to food banks. They get all kinds of subsidies, deals and discounts, so they have A LOT more buying power than we do. They can take your one dollar donation and get 4 meals out of it. $25 to get dinner for 100 people.

And let me fucking guess. The people it flagged voted for Democrats.

“Did you hear something? Someone at the door maybe?” “Nope. Just the wind.”