If you’re reading this, I hope you get stuffed today!

Peacock was coming back from a commercial that was spliced into an ad and it was supposed to say something like “Tonight at 8 PM on Peacock,” but it happened to be timed to just say “COCK” lol

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends who live in my phone. I’m thankful for all you turkeys!

Went to Giant for a Thanksgiving cake tonight and this is all they had left 😂😭

Hey uh why does Shohei stand like that lol

I was at the dentist today to prep for some crown work that I have coming up and I showed them a picture of Freddie Freeman as an example of what I don’t want to look like If there’s one thing I was meant to be in life, it’s a hater 🙂‍↕️

Gotta work on that marketing a bit lol

Imagine glazing a guy who wrote this lol

Feels worthy of a repost

The offense again declined to play all four quarters of football and for once the defense didn’t bail them out and they didn’t get lucky (with an assist from the refs). The result was a loss. This is why this offense this way is not sustainable.

I just can’t believe the Eagles did this to me in the same week I had to read RFK’s texts to Olivia Nuzzi about felching

“Fire Kevin Patullo.”

who up running their leaf blower at 8:22pm after a bad loss

Eagles sports radio is gonna make the red wedding look like a romantic comedy

Was 21-0. And then we started running the coward's offense. Inexcusable. Fire people.

I’m serious, Kevin Patullo needs to not even board the fucking plane

Fuck this game and fuck this offensive coordinator

God the Cowboys are fucking dumb lol

Making more room in my pockets for additional rocks

🎵Rocks in my pockets, and the devil on my back...🎵

They’re incompetent but at least they’re also undisciplined

Pretty goddamn hard to win when you give the other team almost a hundred free yards with boneheaded penalties

Few things worse to see on your TV than Cowboys fans experiencing an ounce of joy

If we lose this game I am sleeping outside the NovaCare complex tonight with a Fire Kevin Patullo billboard

Yep, it sure is. I want Patullo’s bags waiting for him at the locker room door.

God damn it this game is gonna piss me off, isn’t it?

I see the Birds are continuing their season-long tradition of shidding the bed after halftime

The Cowboys hate the Cowboys, but we hate the Cowboys more

Go Birds

This is unbelievably rad

🎶 Fly Eagles Fly 🎶

Round 2: Fresh Batch for Friendsgiving™ edition

Trump all but applied chapstick ahead of time lol

Imagine being woken up at 8 AM because a running event has a steel drum player, for some reason lol

She butter on my bat until I blast one

Was NOT prepared to hear Fast Car on the oldies station 😭

When you are loved and respected by the American people

*Earnest post warning* Is saying “they voted for this” even productive or helpful at this point? We’re ten months in I know their votes fucked us all. I get it But I just feel like the focus is *us* (inclusive of those voters) vs. *them* (the govt). We’ve gotta largely move past the schadenfreude

We already know what Trump does with a hung Democrat

So we've reached this phase of his authoritarian ambitions? Its not Sedition to call for Loyalty to the Constitution. Also pretty rich from a guy indicted on under the Espionage act Anyhoo... The Sedition act of 1798 expired in 1800 and the Sedition Act of 1918 was repealed in 1920.

Not a want butt a need

Do you guys think Bill called him a good boy?

Olivia Nuzzi you suck but (as an art appreciator) if you still have that picture, my DMs are open

these are heart melters

Ohhh yeah, it’s all coming together 🤤

Choosing “Rear Admiral” because I’m an ass guy