Back at the airport for the flight home, airport streeeeeeess.

Pubby

I made the mistake laying belly-down on the lounger without the towel and now I am crosshatched, oops

On my sun lounger, and wanting to be rotated slowly like a rotisserie chicken

So, uh... Can you tell I haven't worn this shirt in nearly a year?

brrr

Thought I'd lost yet another pair of sunglasses, turns out they were still sitting on the lounger I was using *yesterday*. Phew indeed.

I love these bronze statues, by the coastline.

I am at the hotel, it is dark, it is warm. And now I wish to become Melt

Right, time for PRE-HOLIDAY LAST-SECOND PANIC MODE. It's that wonderful last second stuff, like double/triple-checking passports, charging cables, medication, making sure you haven't stuffed that lead brick you're convinced someone's stuffed into your bag while you weren't looking...

The joys of when the morning train gets cancelled *while you're waiting for it*, so you have to make emergency alternate plans that mean a 45-minute morning trip takes nearly 2 hours X.x

Snoooow, all cold and crunchy. At least it settled on the ground this time.

Wanted to paint this dog

Bwuuuugh, renovation work in my building, and now the bottom end of the corridor stinks of the headache-inducing stench of construction work and paint thinner.

After trains this morning playing silly buggers and the rest of the day just being so boring... Can I just mush my face into someone's belly/chest/yes?

Bwurffffff. Friend's birthday night out, went to Cosmo. Buffet. I am feeling more than a little bloaty, and now I need to snooze.

Uuuuuugh it's the end of day slump. I just want to get home and have a big snooze.

Tmw it is starting to get chilly outside but your underbelly is still nice and toasty

Uuugghghhh, busy weekend and I just want to go back to snooze while at work.

Thicc crocodile 🐊🌈

So my mum has been making new friends at the caravan park, and we got invited to someone else's van for a chat and some masala chai. And ooohhhh my lordy their stuff was beautiful. I am never going to be able to replicate that ever.

So, I'm down at the caravan this weekend... But not the caravan that I remember. Because my parents decided to do an upgrade. Yep, they've decided to upgrade to a better van to own, AND NOT MENTION ANYTHING FOR OVER A MONTH. Still, good on them.

Had a nice meal out with the family for my birthday, got myself a Nando's. Now I'm feeling full and want to snooze again, whoops.

IT ME BURFDAY HAPPY BUPDAY TO ME 🎂

Big streeeeeeetch aaaaand quickly tug the shirt back down oops

Fucking exhausted. Parents offered to cook for me when I get back from work. One week passes, I'm grumpier, and I'm snacking *more*, but *at* work instead. As tired as I was, I at least felt like I had control over myself, now it's just... Fuck. Why fucking bother

Uuuuuuugh the joy of waking up at 2am because Dream You decided that it was the perfect time for Work things to happen.

2 colleagues stand chatting in the office for 40 minutes and nobody bats an eye You get caught on your phone for 15 seconds and the managers lose their goddamn minds

Extremely painful transformation sequence, but it's with me getting out of my workwear and into comfy sweatpants instead

For fun, I made this for a Fat Bear Week poster contest that said I had through the 9th to upload it... but failed to say that uploads got cut off at 6:00 pm... so... I missed the deadline by three hours. So I'm posting it here! Happy early Fat Bear Week!

I had too much lunch, and now I want someone to rub my tummy and use me as a pillow x.x

Idea: Fall asleep in the passenger seat of the car, be carried from there to sofa/bed. Problem: Nobody can easily carry 100+kg of lump. Not happening.

the youtube poop button

Got a message on the radio, reminding people about the Emergency Alert System test on the UK on the 7th, so that might be something for people to remember.

Serious mass implies the existence of silly mass. This is a service I’m willing to provide.

Sitting around a train station, the amount of Ubers with only one person in them...

shout-out to these little cartoon bubbles that are drawn when a character eats too much

this one

Oh god, my YouTube ads have no fucking clue what to do with me, right now. English? German? Japanese? ... Visit Krakow?

Bwurp. I made the mistake of ordering takeaway. I am now a full lump. Can I just roll on top of someone

my mom taught me there's two kinds of businesses: hot dog stands and art galleries - hot dog stands protect territory and keep competition off their turf - art galleries benefit from more adjacent art galleries, cluster together to amplify reach/support youre an art gallery, not a hot dog stand

Would love to know what the hell Dream Me did last night, because I woke up with a horrible cramp in my caaaalf muscle x.x

Bwuh, the joys of waking up an hour before your alarm because you mistakenly think it's a Work Day. Ugh, I want the big snooooze.

Ideal mood right to just... "Acquire" one of my skinnier friends and get them pumped up until they're 3XL+ sized. Bwurf.

Round

I am in my "My god people just need to shut up" era again